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| - Blasted vandals Digging holes in the road and filling them in again is a sport which was invented by the abnormal absorbent alarming amazing ambiguous angry artificial average bad bad mannered baffling barbarous bare belittling beloved big bloody blue booming boorish bright bronze buffoon-like bulbous charming chartreuse cheap cheery clammy clever clumsy cold colossal common complaining congruent contageous contented contrived controversial cool copper coruscating cosmic cozy crazed crazy crunchy cryptic curative cute cut-rate dark dazzling dead deafening defective defenestratable demoralizing despicable depressed diseased dismal disappointed doubtful dramatic dubious educated eeble eerie egregious elated emaciated enormous epic equivalent erudite evil excited exhausted exotic expensive explosive fake fanatical fast fat fervent flaming flammable folksy foolish forbidden foreign foul friendly furry gray great green greenish-bluish-purplish grisly golden good Gypsy hairless hairy happy hateful heartbroken heavy hideous homely hopeless hot huge idiotic ill-bred incompetent incredible ineffective inept infectious ingenious insane intransigent jocular joyful jubilant jumping fuckin' cool large laughable lavish lazy lead lesbian lifeless light loud lovely loyal luminous macabre mad magical malevolent mediocre megalomaniacal melodramatic miniscule mirthful morbid moribund mundane mysterious nail-biting natural nefarious Nobel prize-winning no-frills nonexistent nonsensical obese oblivious obscene obscure offensive on edge on the ball oozing opaque orange overwrought pale paper peculiar periodic petrifying pie-loving pimpalicious pitch-black platinum plump pocket-sized posh pricey puce pugnacious purple putrefying puzzling pyrrhic quick quiet quivering raging rapturous red regular remarkable repugnant revolting rhyming rhythmic rickety rigid rotted round rubber rude running sacred sacrificed sad sanguine scanty scary senseless serious sexy shaky sheer shimmery shiny shoddy silver sinister sizable skinny slim slimy slippery slow small smart smelly snug soft sparkling spine-chilling spontaneous straight stupid styrofoam substandard sumptuous supercalifragilisticexpialidocious tacky tawdry tense terrible thick thin throbbing tiny tired transparent trusty ugly unbalanced uncivilized uninviting universal unnatural unpleased unrefined unreliable unsophisticated upset uptight vast vigilant virtual vulgar walking warm well-to-do white wise wobbly wooden yellow people of Scotland. It is thought to derive from the ancient practice of filling in holes, then digging them again. In modern times, up to four workmen may cordon off an area of a road on a bend or a major junction and dig a hole, leave it uncovered but cordoned (until local students steal the signs anyway) for up to seven months. The exact time is presumably of cosmic importance, and calculated by recruitment consultant mystics. The exact reasons for doing this are of some debate. Some believe that it is to allow the spirits of the road-builders ascend to a higher plane of existence, others believe it is done to annoy cyclists. Best estimates for the first hole to be dug and filled in, are around 7000BC in a place close to Glasgow however some among you may ask if there were roads in 7000BC recent reseach suggests not. However the theory remains under debate and currently being researched into by God, (he got addicted to crack that year), Mr T because what ever he decides goes, and a 9000 year old goat who claims to have seen the incident. The fad meanwhile has been spreading out of control and has now reached the suburbs of Edinburgh. In summary, the Scots liked men. The women did not like men, because there were actually no women. The men reproduced by asexual cell division. The sport was almost all but forgotten for centuries, with the advent of the more difficult to dig corduroy style roads and carriage paths. Fortunately, it had not completely disappeared, as some teams had formed in the suburbs of Miami who played the sport in all its original glory. With television coverage on MTV and ESPN, the sport regained popularity, and orange-uniformed teams have been formed in cities everywhere worldwide. Advances in equipment for the sport have brought about such innovations as the Orange Blinky Barricade Flasher (commonly held as a prized trophy).
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