rdfs:comment
| - By the time your son learns to talk, he'll already be an annoying, selfish prick, because he couldn't care less about how other people in the world are dying from war and disease. His first words will be "Mine, mine mine!", and he'll want you to buy every toy in Toys Я Us. In order to keep your son from crying and making a scene, you'll buy him a gay Godzilla toy that is the cheapest piece of crap you've ever seen. You'll eventually learn to only buy the cheapest toys, because they'll break every time he throws them, and then he'll just cry for "more!" When he's not busy with the latest Nintendo system, your son will run around the house breaking only your most valuable possessions, like the fine china no one uses, and the urn full of Joe DiMaggio's ashes that you bought off of eBay. Your
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abstract
| - By the time your son learns to talk, he'll already be an annoying, selfish prick, because he couldn't care less about how other people in the world are dying from war and disease. His first words will be "Mine, mine mine!", and he'll want you to buy every toy in Toys Я Us. In order to keep your son from crying and making a scene, you'll buy him a gay Godzilla toy that is the cheapest piece of crap you've ever seen. You'll eventually learn to only buy the cheapest toys, because they'll break every time he throws them, and then he'll just cry for "more!" When he's not busy with the latest Nintendo system, your son will run around the house breaking only your most valuable possessions, like the fine china no one uses, and the urn full of Joe DiMaggio's ashes that you bought off of eBay. Your son will always be a hyper little spazz, and there's not a damned thing you can do about it without giving him pills. Unless, of course, you want to stop feeding him — and that's a movie with only one possible ending: your sorry ass lying in a jail cell, crying for your Momma, as three large black men sing Rogers & Hammerstein tunes at you. Yes, it's much too late to put him up for adoption now. But you have no idea how much life is going suck for the family when your son gets older.
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