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| - 1 Marten: "Hey, Pintsize, I'm Home." (Marten Reed, Pintsize the AnthroPC) ["TEH" T-shirt][Re-done for the book Questionable Content Volume 1] 2 What does Pintsize do when Marten's not home? (Calculate prime numbers, run SETI screensaver) "Three-hour conversations about the latest Intel chipsets are enough to make me spew my RAM all over the place." [Re-done for QCV1] 3 Steve and Marten at the bar (Faye enters in the background)[Re-done for QCV1] 4 Faye introduces herself ("If I sense any lusting, I will stab you and poop in the wound." 5 Faye meets Pintsize: "OH MY GOD CUTEST THING EVAR!" 6 Faye: "I'm still right here, you know." (Gah, Dammit!) [Re-done for QCV1] 7 Faye: "I don't NEED to fake it to look good" (meanwhile Steve is pwning Pintsize on the Playstation... because Pintsize has no
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| abstract
| - 1 Marten: "Hey, Pintsize, I'm Home." (Marten Reed, Pintsize the AnthroPC) ["TEH" T-shirt][Re-done for the book Questionable Content Volume 1] 2 What does Pintsize do when Marten's not home? (Calculate prime numbers, run SETI screensaver) "Three-hour conversations about the latest Intel chipsets are enough to make me spew my RAM all over the place." [Re-done for QCV1] 3 Steve and Marten at the bar (Faye enters in the background)[Re-done for QCV1] 4 Faye introduces herself ("If I sense any lusting, I will stab you and poop in the wound." 5 Faye meets Pintsize: "OH MY GOD CUTEST THING EVAR!" 6 Faye: "I'm still right here, you know." (Gah, Dammit!) [Re-done for QCV1] 7 Faye: "I don't NEED to fake it to look good" (meanwhile Steve is pwning Pintsize on the Playstation... because Pintsize has no thumbs.) 8 Pintsize: "Faye is nice. Is she going to be your girlfriend now?" 9 Sara the Barista [first scene at Coffee of Doom] 10 Faye the Barista (!) [The first "specials of the day" we see on the board: Rockin' Latte, Black Metal Mocha, Emospresso, Electroclash Frappe; "Tip Us or We Will Kill Again"] 11 Pintsize: "Wait, I'm supposed to be HELPING?" (compare to 1292) 12 Phone call from Mom. 13 Faye's first punch 14 The Irony Café (advertise vegan food, serve steaks, lobsters & chicken) 15 Unhappy Vegan, Irony Café Server, and a fresh lobster... 16 Concert-Goers: • One-man Mosh Pit • Chatterboxes • Fashion Whore • Frontline Soldier 17 Faye's poop obsession 18 "No poo-poo on the pee-pee" 19 Roll of quarters. Laundry Night! Heh. (busted) 20 Pintsize's Cake Mix fetish 21 Head jokes give Marten a head-ache. 22 Faye burns down her apartment (with a toaster?) …and moves in with Marten 23 Faye: "Sending (my mother) into little fits of hysteria is my way of saying "I love you'." 24 The Very First QC GUEST STRIP (James Wheeler): Marten and Steve debate KOTR 25 New haircut, and sleeping arrangements... and Pintsize is earning Faye's wrath 26 Indie Cred and buying clothes at the Gap 27 Beating up Emo Bands 28 Faye discovers who Sara's "crush" is (oops, it's Marten!) 29 Sara: "That means I still have to work up the guts to ask him out." 30 Sara has an epiphany (and it's not Marten) 31 Comparing a CD seal to a bra? 32 Marten (to Steve): "You're thinking of asking her out, aren't you." 33 Pintsize delivers the info on the QT. 34 Look on the bright side: you were spared something, perhaps? 35 The Alphabet Trick, an Apple Catalog, and a can of WD-40? 36 Painkillers and Faye's defenestration. 37 Jimbo The Redneck! 38 Get this party STARTED! 39 Halloween 2003 [Faye: Shelley from Scary Go Round; Marten: Gabe from Penny Arcade; Steve: Sam from Sam & Fuzzy; Sara: Jade from PvP; and Red Robot from Diesel Sweeties] 40 "I'll fall down otherwise." (Faye leans on Marten) 41 Faye falls down on the second couch and notices Marten's behind 42 Drink will make a girl say ridiculous things. 43 iPods vs. AnthroPC's (Pintsize LOVES "Crazy Train") 44 Pintsize doesn't do well with babies (tried to find the "off switch") 45 Apple Store Guy 46 Hot Topic Goth Chick gets Faye's wrath [Jeph has intimated that this is Raven's first appearance] 47 Two coffee spit-takes on two bodily function jokes! 48 Thanksgiving with your family? No, they drive me insane. They drive me crazy. 49 Underwear Ninja! 50 Bra Pirate! 51 Final Fantasy's secret [Re-done for QCV1] 52 Marten buys a guitar 53 Faye shows she knows her axes (learned from a guy in HS who was trying to get her nekkid – obviously not Kenny Wallace) 54 You're being sarcastic again, aren't you? 55 Marten's past (left behind friends and family to chase a girl, ended up "here") 56 Deerhoof and Pandas! 57 Faye makes a cake – and Pintsize lusts after it 58 "It was SO worth the massive motherboard damage." 59 Pintsize "backed up" 60 Pintsize's new chassis… 61 …which has a "LASER" (!) 62 "I don't want to have to register you with the Department of Defense..." 63 "I would NEVER... okay, so that was a total lie." 64 2nd Law of Sexual Dynamics ("If you think a girl is attracted to you, you are wrong.") [Re-done for QCV1] 65 Sara tags along (and meets Steve) 66 Sara and Steve are getting along; Marten has "liquid testicles" 67 Faye breaks her glasses! 68 Magical Vision Fairies guided me. 69 She tests her depth perception the only way she knows how. 70 Existentialism and the AnthroPC 71 Nietzsche would have approved. (NIETZSCHE IS DEAD!) 72 Failure, Pavement and broke-up bands 73 Faye's killer death gas 74 Marten: "Whenever you say something nice about me, I always end up getting punched." 75 We meet Dora (and Dora already starts hitting on Marten) 76 Bearded Indie Boys (and Marten can't grow one) 77 Faye: "Heehee, she completely has a crush on you so bad." 78 Dora tells Mieville about the "dashing young man" she met 79 Marten: "Look, there is no way that Dora can possibly be interested in me." Faye: "I am certain there are plenty of girls who are attracted to you, and you just don't know it yet." (GIRLVANA!) 80 Pintsize asks: Who's cuter? (That is what a 404 error feels like.) 81 Faye: "I am looking forward to making coffees and sassing lascivious customers... Dora made (the DA) cry like a little boy." 82 Dora provides us with her first Specials of the Day note: WE ARE SURLY BECAUSE YOU SUCK! 83 Dora: "I might (be interested), were it not for a certain gal who is either being extremely protective of him or entertaining her own secret designs." 84 Dora hits on Marten. "Remind me, which of you is the evil twin of the other?" 85 Marten is "The Office Bitch". (It even says it on his business card.) 86 Scott, Marten's boss (name per Jeph); company is InsureTech – "We Are Better!" Company therapist is the bottle of bourbon Scott keeps in his desk 87 Scott: "Think with your heart, not with your (other body parts)." 88 Faye's ready to kick ass! 89 Faye covers herself 90 Pintsize walks on the ceiling. 91 Steve's coming over – and Pintsize gives Marten the least erotic hickey Faye's ever seen. 92 Pintsize wants to join in the boozing! 93 The first reference to Midnight Hobo bourbon (Winner gets the toilet, loser gets the sink!) 94 Steve mentions he's no longer seeing Sara (something about a cubist painting…) 95 Charlie Brown/Football reference FTW! (Faye being Lucy in this case…) 96 Faye reveals she's from Georgia (which explains the Southern accent when she's drunk) 97 So what made you move up north? "It was a buncha things, like my mom bein' all over-protective an' stuff." (ambiguous, semi-platonic statements) 98 Songs about lost pancakes 99 "You are as perceptive as I am drunk." 100 Marten accidentally walks in on Faye changing [NOTE: no scar was present]
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