| abstract
| - Envisaged at first to provide recreational exercise to tired drivers, Little Walsall FC were eventually adopted as an after-hours team by lower league Wolverhampton Wankers. Entering into the Willenhall and District League, success was at first hard to come by, except for 6 years prior to their founding with a notable victory against Arsenal in the Milkshake Cup. With the memory of the cup victory long gone, the players grew in confidence, and star scrum-half, Kavid Delhi fired the team to promotion all the way to the big time and Nationwide League Division One, where they would face the likes of Port Fail, Cockport and Tranmerely. Unfortunately, it was too big an ask to survive with such giants of the game and the club were relegated to Division Two, where they would end up going to places such as Sjoke Shitty and Evil Millwall. Not having learned from their past mistakes, they ended up being promoted back to Division One to face glamour games against Rotherscum, Dimsby and Crwho, but this time with the acquisition of retarded 'stars' and managers from Wolverhampton Wankers, they were able to stay up, and build on their successes. Fate was to intervene though, and following the Merson Coup in 2003/04, relegation swiftly followed back to Division Two. However, Merscum somehow managed to obtain a managerial role at Little Walsall FC. This particular appointment was widely referred to as suicide, as Little Walsall FC were re-branded as Paul Merson's Walsall. With growing anti-social problems in Warsaw the ground was knocked down and rebuilt as a drugs and alcohol recuperation centre for the sole purpose of keeping Paul Merson happy. Incidentally, an anagram of Paul Merson happens to be Lump On Arse. Need I say more?! After 2 years of considerable excellence (sic) as Paul Merson's Walsall, Merscum was fired and fled the country never to be seen again outside of the Dog & (W)Anchor. This meant the return to normality for Little Walsall FC, as the Paul Merson's Walsall name was dropped. However, the firing was done 2 years too late and could not prevent Little Walsall FC from falling into the Rochdale Division. Relegated to the dreaded tinpot Rochdale Division for 2006/07, a change was called for, and to the surprise of many, the Bank of England bought out the club, promising to throw Dicky Dosh at the playing side, to ensure their promotion back into Division Two. This was succesful, as against all the odds, Little Walsall FC managed to win the Rochdale Division ahead of footballing super-giants like Fester City and Accrington-Stanley-who-are-they-exactly. More recently the club has reinvented itself as a hospitality and entertainment centre, attracting stars from across the world of show business to bask in the glory of sell-out crowds six nights a week. On Sunday all work stops so that the traditional Sunday bring and buy sale can be held, and the local citizens can safely leave their homes to purchase stolen stereos and fake designer clothing.
|
![[RDF Data]](/fct/images/sw-rdf-blue.png)