About: Dan Bergstein   Sponge Permalink

An Entity of Type : owl:Thing, within Data Space : 134.155.108.49:8890 associated with source dataset(s)

Dan Bergstein... A man with a dream... A dream of werewolves and jet packs and robots and way shorter Twilight books. Dan is the SparkNotes editor who embarked on the dangerous, IQ-point-destroying journey of reading all the Twilight fails books. Chapter by chapter, his blogs are filled with lulz of epic proportions. Despite the fact he's reading slogging through this saga horrible garbage, neither his IQ nor his lulz suffer. He popularized Team Emmett (and Team Pancakes) and thus is very disappointed about Emmett's lack of screen and page time.

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  • Dan Bergstein
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  • Dan Bergstein... A man with a dream... A dream of werewolves and jet packs and robots and way shorter Twilight books. Dan is the SparkNotes editor who embarked on the dangerous, IQ-point-destroying journey of reading all the Twilight fails books. Chapter by chapter, his blogs are filled with lulz of epic proportions. Despite the fact he's reading slogging through this saga horrible garbage, neither his IQ nor his lulz suffer. He popularized Team Emmett (and Team Pancakes) and thus is very disappointed about Emmett's lack of screen and page time.
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  • Dan Bergstein... A man with a dream... A dream of werewolves and jet packs and robots and way shorter Twilight books. Dan is the SparkNotes editor who embarked on the dangerous, IQ-point-destroying journey of reading all the Twilight fails books. Chapter by chapter, his blogs are filled with lulz of epic proportions. Despite the fact he's reading slogging through this saga horrible garbage, neither his IQ nor his lulz suffer. Dan invented the "sarcasm hand". He wasn't sure if people understood when he was being sarcastic about Twilight, so he said he would raise his hand whenever he was doing so. Example: "Edward isn't a creepy stalker at all. He's the greatest guy in the world. *hand raised*" He popularized Team Emmett (and Team Pancakes) and thus is very disappointed about Emmett's lack of screen and page time. He was also very strongly on Team Jacob, until finally reading Chapter 18 of Breaking Dawn. After reading it he had a slight mental breakdown...it's hilarious.
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