My name is Hans Vonweiger, and let's just say that the only difference between me and Salvador Dalí is that Dalí is not crazy. The book you're reading right now was written during my time in the "Spitzer Center for Mildly Insane," here in an undisclosed location near Dresden. I was sent here after a neighbour of mine discovered that I had written a five hundred page epic poetry about the daily travels of a group of ants that lived in my bathroom, going to my kitchen to get bread crumbs. Looking back, I realize that I was really insane. I mean, who writes epic poetry nowadays?
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