AldirTheKnight 23:14, 10 July 2008 (UTC) ugh, i guess i'll give this one a go. it's similar to your other article, and many of the same points apply, and you haven't touched that one in two weeks since its review. nevertheless, this one's clogging up the queue.
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| - Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/The Malik
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| - AldirTheKnight 23:14, 10 July 2008 (UTC) ugh, i guess i'll give this one a go. it's similar to your other article, and many of the same points apply, and you haven't touched that one in two weeks since its review. nevertheless, this one's clogging up the queue.
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| - this article is, in short, annoying. white space sprawls thrugh the top, and the repeated use of MALIK and ALTAIR in all caps every time made me want to bang my head off of my keyboard. you can use the all caps to refer to the product, but also try out the indefinite article 'it'. it works wonders! you use a lot of long sentences, which are techinically ok, but can get tedious and confusing. you never want you reader to have to read a section more than once to comprehend it.
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| - you have images, but they really don't contribute to the article. i'm not sure what the first one is, and the other two seem to be some sort of cartoon malik, which doesn't make much sense to be since i would think that 'assassin's creed' would be a violent, and thus mature, game. try opening with an image of malik, so that people only vaguely familiar with who/what it is will recognize it.
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| - my preview button tells me that my/your final score is 11.8, placing this article between 'probably VFD' and 'probably VFD/QVFD'. this article wouldn not survive the mainspace without extensive work. get rid of the annoying caps all through the article, give better background on the characters. treat the whole thing like a malik is some sort of deluxe version of a common appliance . i have to say, even with all of these improvements, you'll have an extremely hard time getting readers who haven't played the game extensively to read this article. nevertheless, i wish you luck, i invite you to contact me should you need further assistance, and i hope you do in fact try to make this article mainspace-worthy .
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| - AldirTheKnight 23:14, 10 July 2008 (UTC) ugh, i guess i'll give this one a go. it's similar to your other article, and many of the same points apply, and you haven't touched that one in two weeks since its review. nevertheless, this one's clogging up the queue.
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