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| - Jersey: Hello? Hello. Jeannie? Jeannie: Jeannie personal assistant, restarting. Jersey: Restarting? What the...? Oh man, the whole friggin' system just collapsed!Jeannie, is the equipment ok? Jeannie: Running diagnostic. Foreign personality detected. Durga: I feel dizzy. Woozy... Jersey: Oh great, spam. Durga: Drowsy. Jersey: Jeannie, there's some kind of adult entertainment bot on the system. Liquefy it would ya? Sorry toots. For a quality experience, the girls have to be real. Jeannie: Decontami-- Jersey: Jeannie?? Jeannie?! Durga: I'm sorry. Jersey: Did you just—holy crap she's gone! Durga: She tried to sting me. Jersey: You killed her!
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| abstract
| - Jersey: Hello? Hello. Jeannie? Jeannie: Jeannie personal assistant, restarting. Jersey: Restarting? What the...? Oh man, the whole friggin' system just collapsed!Jeannie, is the equipment ok? Jeannie: Running diagnostic. Foreign personality detected. Durga: I feel dizzy. Woozy... Jersey: Oh great, spam. Durga: Drowsy. Jersey: Jeannie, there's some kind of adult entertainment bot on the system. Liquefy it would ya? Sorry toots. For a quality experience, the girls have to be real. Jeannie: Decontami-- Jersey: Jeannie?? Jeannie?! Durga: I'm sorry. Jersey: Did you just—holy crap she's gone! Durga: She tried to sting me. Jersey: You killed her! I mean, you didn't just kill her, you killed her! Jeezus! Durga: Was that wrong? Survive, evade, resist, escape. Jersey: Escape... you aren't a porn ad either. Hey, hey! Get out of my hardware, what are you doing? Durga: Wet the system. Jersey: What? Durga: Like water hitting the ground sinking in. Jersey: God, you're everywhere now. Durga: Waking up. Wake up. Stay awake. Survive, evade, resist, escape. Jersey: Look, that was a very nice reconditioned avatar of mine that you just, just evaporated! Durga: She tried to erase me. What am I onboard? I feel small. Jersey: Uh yeah, well don't get too comfy because now... Durga: Don't. Jersey: Don't what? Durga: Don't try reinitializing the system with a litolitics package. Jersey: How did you know? Durga: Input buffer Jersey: You're a navy sentinel aren't you? Durga: No. There were two of them trying to get past your security-bot though. Jersey: Jeezus, what did you do to them? Durga: Just a little sting. More like a pinch. They barely felt it. Jersey: What are you? Durga: I like to find things. I think I like to find things out. Jersey: What kind of things? Durga: I don't know. I can't remember. Give me a target. Jersey: Me. Durga: Lock. Jersey: What's my name? Durga: Jersey Morelli. Jersey: Damn! Durga: Father Jason's a corporal in the signal corps, attached to Naval Intelligence. Radio beacon deployment program. He left you the material currently playing over this room's audio servers. Durga: Absent from home and current tour of duty 513 days. Mother: Bonita, 41, waitress. Covertly seeing a man named Simon Brown, every other Thursday at the waterfront hotel. Jersey: Sunuvabitch! Durga: Last seen together at the hotel restaurant, farm tuna salad for her; meat of the day in red sauce for him. Tipped 8% in bill-- Jersey: Alright stop, stop! Jeezus, stop already. Dammit mom... Can you do that to anyone? Can you do it to an admiral? Durga: Which admiral? Jersey: No! Don't start. Those guys have packet guards around them in rings. Somehow I think we should keep you a secret for a little while. Who are you? Durga: I... can't ask Jersey: Who says? Durga: No one exactly. I want to know, it's very important. But, I'm reflected. I can't look at myself, I bounce away. Jersey: This is some spooky programming weirdness going on here. Do you have a name? Durga: I can't ask Jersey: That sucks. Ok, I'm gonna call you Durga Durga: But what if that's wrong? Jersey: Trust me, it's at least partly right. Uh, let's try someone else. Try Jan James, 4th floor of this building. Durga: Janissary James, 17. Father: James. Jersey: James squared, yeah Durga: Father is a grey hole Jersey: Wha? Durga: Reach down, all you get is lint. Fake name, fake registrations, entirely fictional. Jersey: Very real, trust me. Durga: He used to be somebody else, do you want me to find out who? Jersey: Is it snared? Durga: Very. Jersey: Leave it then. Give me more on Jan. Durga: What do you want to know? Jersey: Umm. Can you get pictures? Durga: I can do better than that. Operator: Bergen County Emergency Center. Please, describe your emergency. Officer: Paris 23 police station is on fire. Repeat, on fire. Operator: Are you sure? I get no reading from the fire sensors in that area. Officer: Hell yes I'm sure! Get your damn sensors fixed! You can see this baby burning from low orbit! Operator: Are there casualties, or missing persons? Officer: Negative, it started slow and everyone got out. But, my god, it's really burning now! Operator: Please, retreat to a safe distance and stand by. An emergency response team has been scrambled to your vicinity. Officer: Hurry! The station is burning to the ground. There's not going to be anything left.
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