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| - Narrator: Just another perfectly normal day in the city. The sun is shining… the birds are singing... and a guy with a sandwich head is plotting crimes! Chuck: I just need to get my hands on THIS-- (gets up and looks at a ragged piece of paper) --the Emerald Sub! Once I have it, my sandwich powers will increase ten times over! Then I, Chuck the Evil Sandwich-Making Guy, will become UNSTOPPABLE! Chuck: Hey! (wipes it off his goggles) Mustard? Whammer: You listen to me, mustard packets! If you don’t open right, you’ll get whammered, yeah! Chuck: Uh, need a little help? Whammer: These dogs need mustard-- YEAH! Chuck: That’s a lot of hot dogs! Whammer: Whammer needs fuel! YEAH! Chuck: This is your lucky day! (Holds up his condiment ray) Do you like spicy, or yellow mustard? Whammer: Yellow! YEAH! Chuck: That should do it! Whammer: Wham! That was totally WHAM! (He aims his fists at a nearby boulder and cracks it with a powerful shock wave) Chuck: They don’t call me Chuck the Evil Sandwich-Making Guy for nothing! Whammer: Wait a minute... Chuck the Sandwich--? Chuck: Actually it’s-- Whammer: I heard of you! You’re totally WHAMMER! Chuck: Oh, well, thanks! Is that-- a good thing? Whammer: Listen, sandwich guy-- you helped the Whammer! Now the Whammer’s going to help YOU! The Whammer’s gonna be your sidekick! YEAH! Chuck: Oh, um, I don’t know. I’m kind of a lone wolf. Whammer: Together we’re gonna wham the city! YEAH! Chuck: Uh, yeah, the thing is, I--I was just about to steal this Emerald Sub, so I don’t really need an-- Whammer: HEY! You mess with Chuck, you mess with the Whammer! And you get WHAMMED! YEAH! Stranger: If you say so. (The Whammer drops him, then does a bodybuilder pose and walks off.) Chuck: (to stranger) Sorry about that, I barely even know him. (groans) Stranger: Whatever. Narrator: Meanwhile… WordGirl: I am just exasperated by all this junk! Do you still need these opera glasses? WordGirl: Oh, I guess that’s true. You never know when an opera’s gonna break out. Reginald: WordGirl! A villain named the Whammer is destroying my jewelry store! Oh yes, and some guy with a sandwich head is here too. (A crash is heard) Please don’t touch that! Chuck: First of all, we’re ROBBING the jewelry store, not destroying it! (Another crash is heard.) STOP THAT! And I also want to make it clear that I am in charge here! ME! Chuck the Evil Sandwich-- Whammer: (offscreen) I’m gonna wham something! Chuck: What did I just say? WordGirl: Who’s that again? Chuck: That’s the Whammer. He’s my-- um, what’s the word, I just heard it a while ago… WordGirl: Uh, sidekick, yeah. It’s an assistant, someone who helps in adventures. Whammer: (offscreen) Sidekick! YEAH! Chuck: Right! Sidekick! He listens to my every command! Whammer: Is that WordGirl? HEY! It’s me, the Whammer! ‘Cause, when I wham something, I wham it good! Yeah! Whammer! WordGirl: (looking confused) I have no idea what you just said. Whammer: Oh yeah? Well come down here, and I’ll show you! Yeah! Wham! Yeah! WHA-A-A-AM! (The signal goes out.) WordGirl: Let’s get over there, Huggy! Word UP! (flies off with Huggy) Chuck: Oh, Great! WordGirl is probably on her way here now! Whammer: Hmm-- and when she gets here, she’ll get WHAMMED! YEAH! Chuck: Whatever. Alright, so you watch out for WordGirl, and I’ll grab the Emerald Sub. Whammer: You’re the boss! Yeah! Chuck: At last, the Emerald Sub! Whoever holds it shall possess the power to-- WordGirl: Hold it right there-- the Whammer, was it? Whammer: Yeah! The Whammer! And Chucky Bread-head! We’re gonna wham you guys but good! Yeah! WordGirl: Wait. Chucky Bread-head? Chuck: Yeah, that wasn’t even close. Whammer: So, you’re the girl who said the Whammer couldn’t wham? WordGirl: I-- don’t remember saying that! Whammer: I’ll show you whammin’ ! Chuck: W-w-wait! No! Chuck: Whammer! Whammer: Sorry about that, boss. But, at least it went out with a wham! WordGirl: A little exasperated with your sidekick, Chuck? Chuck: Um, maybe... WordGirl: Well, exasperated means-- Chuck: Wait! If you’re about to define exasperated, please don’t! I’m not in the mood. WordGirl: Oh! Well-- uh, actually, that’s very funny, because that’s kind of what exasperated means! You’re angry and annoyed and just plain fed up. You’re exasperated! Whammer: Exasperated! YEAH! Chuck: (to WordGirl) Great. Thanks. Why doesn’t anyone listen to me? WordGirl: Aww, cheer up, Chuck! I can totally relate. I mean, Huggy is the greatest sidekick in the world, but sometimes he just does stuff that drives me up the wall! WordGirl: Uh, I mean not always, but sometimes. Very little! Almost never! (Huggy folds his arms and looks away.) Whammer: Enough talk! It’s time to-- Woo-woo-woo-WHAM! Whammer: (to Chuck) Let’s whammer out of here! YEAH! Chuck: Well, I guess I should go too, since he’s my-- umm… WordGIrl: (stumbling to her feet and holding her head) Sidekick. Chuck: Right. Sidekick. (Walks out the door, then pokes his head back in) I’m sorry about the mess, everyone. Whammer: This is your lair, boss? It’s not very whammer. Chuck: What does that even mean? Whammer: It just means that things need some whammin’ up around here Chuck: No, no whamming in the lair! Listen, um-- we have to talk. We’ve been a team of sorts for like, oh, what, a few hours now? Whammer: Yeah, it’s been whammer! Chuck: Yeah, yeah, um, ok. You know how we robbed that store and didn’t actually get any money, jewels, or the ancient artifact that would have made me nearly invincible?! Whammer: We whammered that store! Chuck: Yeah, yeah, right. Well, but what I’m saying is that this has been really great having you as a sidekick, but, um-- TV Announcer: We interrupt this television program to bring you a special report. Stu Brisket: Just minutes ago, two villains-- the Whammer and some guy with a sandwich face, robbed a jewelry store, and destroyed the one-of-a-kind Emerald Sub! The jewelry store clerk says this would be tragic news if he didn’t discover a second Emerald Sub in the back room. Reginald: Well, I wanted a glass of milk to help me calm down, and it was just sitting there in a tub of barbecue sauce. So you could imagine the mess. Not to mention I am allergic to barbecue sauce. So you could imagine the rash. (He turns toward the camera, revealing that the left side of his face is covered in a nasty rash.) Chuck: I can’t believe it! Another Emerald Sub! We have to get it! Stu Brisket: And, in seemingly unrelated news, two rare antique whammers will be on display at these two local antique stores. They may look like pillows, but I assure you they’re called whammers. TV Announcer: And now, back to our program. Whammer: Wh-- whammers? Chuck: Alright, come on! We can go look at those pillows later! After we steal the Emerald-- Whammer: Whammers! (Puts his fists together and whams, making a hole in the side of the house.) Wham! Wham! Wham! Wham! (The Whammer takes off down the street.) Chuck: No! Wait! We can’t steal a whammer when there’s an all-powerful sandwich available! I mean, look at my head! (He walks through the opening.) WordGirl: Boy, do you believe there’s a second Emerald Sub, Huggy? And did you notice how exasperated Chuck seemed with that new guy? I’d never be THAT exasperated by you! WordGirl: No sir-ee! Whammer: We’re comin’ to get you, whammers! WordGirl: Hey, it’s Chuck’s sidekick, the Whammer! Chuck: Wait! This is the store with the Emerald Sub! We could grab it quick and then go get the whammers! At least slow down! WordGirl: And there goes Chuck! Ready to stop some bad guys, sidekick? (He still ignores her.) Oh, come on. Listen, Huggy. I’m really sorry. It was a silly thing to say. I never meant to hurt your feelings. You’re my best friend, and I couldn’t fight crime without you. Did I mention how great you look in that suit today? Now, are you ready to fight some crime? (Huggy gives her a thumbs up.) Well then, let’s go! (She takes off without him. He yells out at her. She comes back and picks him up.) I’m sorry. (takes off again) Narrator: Meanwhile, at an antique store… Whammer: (holding up a cushion) We have it! Chuck: That’s it? It’s just a pillow-- Whammer: Wham! Wham! Chuck: Hey! Whammer: Hey, it works! This is the greatest day of my life. (Hugs Chuck) Chuck: Okay… (pats him on the arm) Whammer: Hey! There’s another whammer across town! Let’s go, boss! Wham! Chuck: But… the Emerald Sub… unstoppable! WordGirl: Hold it right there-- Whammer: Wham, wham. (He runs out of the store.) Chuck: Whammer, wait up! WordGirl: Uh, did we just get beat by a pillow? (Her phone rings.) Hello? Chuck: Oh, hey WordGirl. How’s it goin’? WordGirl: Uh, fine-- Chuck? Chuck: Yeah listen, I just called to um, see if you could guess what we’re gonna steal next? WordGirl: The second Emerald Sub? Chuck: No, although that’s what I’d be doing if I didn’t have a sidekick! We’re off to rob the second whammer pillow from an antique store across town. It’s Monique’s Antiques. If you take Main Street down to Broadway and-- Chuck: Come on, where are they? WordGirl is never this late when I’m committing a crime! Did I say left on Broadway? Whammer: Hey boss! Look what I got! Yeah! (Holds up another cushion) Chuck: Right. Whammer: Isn’t it totally whammer? Chuck: Sure, sure, it’s-- whammer. Whammer: Come on! Let’s go whammer some stuff! Yeah! Whammer! WordGirl: Forget it! Your whammer-ing days are over! Chuck: Oh, thank goodness!-- I mean, WordGirl and Captain Huggy Face! What are you doing here? WordGirl: You just called us! Chuck: I guess you’re here to stop me and my sidekick, the Whammer. But you’ll probably want to start with the Whammer! Whammer: Yeah! Let’s take ‘em on whammers! WordGirl: Huggy! Where are you going? Whammer: Have a taste of my whammers! (throws the cushions at her, they hit her in the face) WordGirl: What was that? Whammer: Now that you’ve been softened up, time to WHAM! WordGirl: It’s pretty exasperating. Woman: Aaah! That tape is over 100 year old! WordGirl: Now you have to face me AND the best sidekick ever in the history of the world! Whammer: I can take you both out, YEAH, WHAMMER! WordGirl: Amazingly brilliant idea, Huggy! I never would have thought of that! Whammer: Whammer-- can’t-- wham! WordGirl: No more whammer-ing for you! Whammer: Oh yeah? Well you forgot about my boss, Charlie Sandwich Face! Chuck: My name is Chuck, the Evil Sandwich-Making Guy, okay? And you’re supposed to be my sidekick! You’re supposed to follow ME! Instead, I have to listen to you say WHAAAMER a million times! To be honest, I’m just exasperated. Whammer: Oh. I didn’t know you felt that way. Why didn’t you tell me all this before, boss? Chuck: I tried to, but you wouldn’t listen! Whammer: The Whammer listens! The Whammer whams listening! Yeah! Chuck: You’re still doing it! WordGirl: Alright, come on you two! Off to jail! Chuck: Any chance I could get my own cell? Whammer: Yeah, Chucky! We’re gonna be cellmates! Wham! WordGirl: I’ll see what I can do. Narrator: Looks like WordGirl and her trusty sidekick Captain Huggy Face have saved the city from the exasperating duo of Chuck and the Whammer! Tune in next time for another whamming episode of WordGirl! WHAM!
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