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| - Quips: What do you get when you put a ball with a chain? Two people getting married. (Skips smiles) Zin- Skips: Hey, Quips is getting married. Aww. Quips: You get the invite, cous? Skips: Uh, yeah. Quips: Good. I was so excited that I had it sent overnight at great expense. Skips: Well, eh, congratulations. I can't wait to meet the lucky lady. Quips: And she can't wait to meet the (Pokes chest) "best man", buddy. Skips: Best man? Quips: But in all honesty, Skips, I don't have a lot of friends. So I need you to be my best man. Anyway, what's a composer's favorite kind of party? Skips: So what do I gotta do? Quips: You gotta throw me a "Bach-elor" party! I just changed the joke up on the fly to answer your question. Skips: Bachelor party? I've never done one of those before. Quips: Oh, you'll do great. I just have one request. Skips: Huh? Quips: At the end of the night, I wanna eat "wings on a hill" with my best buds. Well, your best buds. Hey, can I borrow your best buds? Just to reiterate, I don't have any friends. Skips: Sure, no problem. Quips: Thanks, best man. Or should I say, "chest man"? (Pats Skips's chest) Badabadabadaba zingo! Hey, can you spot me for a cab home? Mordecai: Sack lunch! Rigby: Sack lunch! Mordecai and Rigby: (Slapping sacks together) Lunch! Lunch! Lunch! Lunch! Skips: No, what do you mean you're closed for a private party? Wing Kingdom Manager: Well, exactly what I said. We're closed for a private party today. You're gonna have to get your wings somewhere else. Mordecai: What's the matter, Skips? Rigby: You want some licorice, bro? Skips: Wing Kingdom is closed, and I need to get wings for a bachelor party. Muscle Man: Did some- (Stops to catch his breath) -Did somebody say "bachelor party"? Skips: I don't know the first thing about bachelor parties. Muscle Man: You just gotta do a bunch of crazy stuff to celebrate your bro's last night of freedom. Skips: But isn't he already in a long-term monogamous relationship? Rigby: Maybe we should help. Mordecai: So who's it for? Skips: My cousin, Quips. Guys: Uhh.... Rigby: Well, it's...stil a bachelor party. Muscle Man: Still a bachelor party. Mordeca: It's still a bachelor party. Rigby: And there'll be wings. Muscle Man: And there'll be wings. Mordecai: And there'll be wings. We'll take care of everything, Skips. All you gotta worry about is the wings. Skips: Thanks, guys. Quips: What animal is like an insect that secretly gets married? An antelope! Kid #1: Boo! Kid #2: Don't quit your day job! Quips: This is my day job. Ahem. What do you get if you- Kid #1: Get off the stage, loser! Quips: Whew, tough crowd. Quips (continued): Really..tough crowd. Quips (continued): What the-- Quips (continued): Where are you taking me?! Kid #1: (To frightened kids) You don't tell anybody what you saw! Quips: Please... spare my life! Take anything you want! Quips (continued): Ahhhhhh..... Quips (continued): Oh, no.... Quips (continued): It's really happening! Mordecai: Welcome to your bachelor party, dude. Quips: Wow! Quips (continued): Am I in a limo? Skips: No wings? At all? Skips (continued): (Frustrated) Oh, why'd today have to be National Wing Day? Quips: Skips, this is a dream come true! Thanks for--(Throws up his hands)--No, wait. I'm gonna tell this to everyone. Quips (continued): Thanks, everybody. This really means a lot. Now, enough with the conversation- let's start the (Points) celebration! Quips (continued): Zingooooooo! Come on, guys; zingo with me. Mordecai: (Shrugs) Bachelor party, dude. All (except Skips): Zingooooo! Quips: Man, this bachelor party's been perfect! Speaking about perfect bachelor parties, (points at Skips) how's those wings coming, Skips? Skips: Uh, yeah of course, uh, but uh... (Shrugs) bachelor party rules! Time for the, uh... blindfold activity! Quips: (Excitedly) Just like in the movies! Skips: Uh, Mordecai and Rigby.... (Points) could I see you privately for a second? Mordecai: What's up, Skips? Rigby: How's the wing search? Skips: I called every place in town. There's no wings anywhere! What should I do? Mordecai and Rigby: (Look at each other) Uh.... Mordecai: You gotta try Wing Kingdom again. Rigby: Yeah; maybe the private party's over! Skips: Worth a shot. Skips (continued): Uh, excuse me; I'd like a few dozen wings. Wing Kingdom Manager: We're closed for a private party. Skips: It's for my cousin! Can't you just spare a few? Wing Kingdom Manager: Sorry, sir. They're animals in there. Wing Kindom Manager (continued): (Shrugs) I can't spare a single wing. Skips: (Begging) Please! Skips (continued): I'm the best man! I can't let him down! Wing Kingdom Manager: Pffft. Some best man. Wing Kingdom Manager (continued): Can't even find a few wings. Quips: That's a great idea! Quips (continued): You got those wings, best man? Skips: Uh, yep. Quips: You know, "Wings on a Hill" is a Quippenger tradition. Skips: Is....that....so? Quips: You bet. My dad did it with his friends, my grandfather did it, and now me with my bros and my best man carrying on the tradition. All this wing talk is making me hungry. (Clasps and rubs his stomach) How long 'till wing time? Skips: Uh...it's coming. Quips: Well, can I at least have a whiff to tide me over? Skips: I don't think that- Quips: Huh, a lighter than I thought it'd be. Skips: Uhh.... Quips: Not much of a scent....What flavor is this? Skips: Uhh, the best one. Why don't you give me that back? Quips: Maybe if I just take a peek. Skips: Wait! Quips: Is this some kinda joke? Skips: Uh, listen... Quips: Because if it is, you should say, "Zingo". Because people might get the wrong idea if you don't say "Zingo" after the hilarious joke. Skips: Let me explain. Quips: (Begins to whimper) Very funny, Skips! Rigby: Come on, try and calm down. Quips: You don't understand. The only Quippenger who didn't eat "wings on a hill" was left at the altar! Skips: Quips, I'm sorry. I tried everywhere. Muscle Man: Ahem. Not everywhere, bro. Mordecai: "Wings For Real Men"? Rigby: Yeah, we can read. Muscle Man: This place is really off the grid. Real hush-hush. They take their wings super seriously. Skips: Hello? Guy #1: Well, lookie here! We got several fancy city folk, from the biiig city! Skips: I need a bucketa wings to go. Guy #1: You walk in here with your fancy pants, running water, your electricity, and your special-edition DVDs, and expect us to give you our buckets?! Skips: What about that? Skips (continued): (Grabs sign) Free wings for life, huh? Guy #1: Oh, you wouldn't be able to handle those. They're for real men. Mordecai: We're men! Muscle Man: No women here. Hi Five Ghost: I haven't seen a woman all day. Guy #1: Nobody's ever survived the Inferno Challenge! Guy #1: Our wing sauce is made from mutated ghost peppers, hot magma extract, and black widow venom. Skips: I'll do it. Guy #2: But you don't get the blue cheese! Guy #3: You got two minutes to eat that whole bucket. Quips: Skips, don't do it! Maybe being left at the altar won't be so bad! Skips: I promised you those wings, and you're gonna get 'em. Guy #1: Tick-tock, city boy! Ain't that what your fancy watches say? Mordecai: Come on, Skips! You're almost there! Mordecai (continued): (Voice slows down) Just three more wings... Skips: Huh? Zingos: (Chanting) Zingo, zingo, zingo, zingo, zingo! Zingo #1: We are the zingos. (Hisses) This... is the inferno! Skips: I... I gotta... finish this! Zingo #1: Never! Zingo #1: You've let down your own family! Skips: (Determined) He's gonna get those wings! Zingo #1: (Tauntingly) Zingo. Zingo! Zingo, zingo, zingo. Zingo #1: (continued): You failed him, Skips. Just like you failed Desdemona! Skips: Noooooo! Quips: You did it. Skips: (Points over at the chef and his men) Now hand over the wings! Guy #1: Didn't you read the fine print? Guy #1 (continued): We don't gotta give you no nothin'! No how! So why don't you pack up your big city friends, and your big city shaved chest, and hightail it outta- Skips: Run! Guy #1: Curse you, big city shaved chest! Guy #1: You're gonna pay for this! Quips: Thanks, Skips. That was the best night of my life. Skips: Ahh, it's what best men do. Quips: (Sitting up) Monica! Monica: Hello, everyone. Quips: How was your bachelorette party, babe? Monica: Well, we rented out Wing Kingdom and we ate wings there all night. I had a very good time. Quips: Haha. (To guys) See? That's why she's gonna wear my "wedding wing"! Quips and guys: Zingo! Monica: He's so funny.
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