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| - Narrator: Just another slow day at the office for WordGirl and Captain Huggy Face. Wait-- is that a new ping-pong table? WordGirl: Oh yeah. Narrator: Wow. That's a big table! WordGirl: I know. It's colossal. WordGirl: Out of bounds! Doesn't count. Heh. WordGirl: Yeah, that's right, I'm scoffing at you! It's part of the fun of the game. WordGirl: Gosh, Huggy, it sure has been quiet lately. I wonder where all of the villains have been? Haven't heard a peep from any of them. Narrator: Psst! They're at the annual villain convention. Granny May: That brings me to item number two on our agenda. I'd like to introduce everyone to a brand new villain. Guy Rich: My name is Guy Rich. I just moved into your charmin' little town. Granny May: Guy Rich is an evil businessman who has swindled customers out of millions of dollars! Let's give a friendly villain welcome to our newest member, Guy Rich! Guy Rich: Thank you, thank you. You may hold the applause, even though I am extremely rich, and therefore extremely deserving of your awe. Mr. Big: Listen, there's only room for one rich golf-loving evil businessman, and that's ME! Guy Rich: Are you scoffin' at me? Mr. Big: Well, I didn't go to a fancy word college, so I don't know what scoffing means. But let's just say I am making fun of you. Leslie: Actually, scoffing means making fun of something, sir. Guy Rich: You don't know what scoffin' means? What kind of evil businessman are you? Whammer: Ah! Wham. (Puts his hand on Mr. Big's shoulder.) Guy Rich: I live in the biggest, most colossal mansion in the city. Mr. Big: Heh! I highly doubt that! (whispering to Leslie) What's "colossal" mean? Leslie: Uh... Guy Rich: Colossal means huge, giant, the biggest. My mansion has 150 rooms, and my very own miniature golf course in the backyard. Mr. Big: Well, excuse me Guy, I know you're the new villain in town here. But "big" is MY territory, and that's why I'm called Mr. Big. Guy Rich: I happen to specialize in the colossal. And since "colossal" means BIGGER than big, that means I'M the richest, most powerful businessman in the world. Hey-- you should all come over to my miniature golf course sometime. You are all invited. Granny May: Oh, what a nice young man! Whammer: Put me down for a WHAM! Mr. Big: Hey hey hey hey, villains, WHY would you want to play on his tiny little miniature golf course, when you could play on the biggest, most colossal miniature golf course in the world? Leslie: (whispering to him) Uh, you don't have a golf course, sir? Mr. Big: (to Whammer) So, what do you say? Whammer: Go awesome miniature golf! The Whammer is so there! Narrator: Meanwhile, at WordGirl's super-secret hideout, it's looking like the ping-pong practice has paid off. What's the score? WordGirl: It's still zero-zero. WordGirl: Hey, no fair! I was distracted by the narrator. Voice: Incoming dispatch! WordGirl: (reading) Wealthy criminal businessman Guy Rich has moved into town. Huh! I love this new villain notification system. It's such a colossal help in keeping me organized. What do you say we swing by, welcome him to town and let him know who's boss? Narrator: Meanwhile, outside the colossal mansion of Mr. Big... Mr. Big: I'll show that Guy Rich, I'll show them all. My miniature golf course will be so colossal, you'll be able to see it from the MOON! Leslie: Ugh. Right. So, how are you planning on building such a colossal golf course anyway? Let me guess, mind control? Mr. Big: No. Leslie: Oh. Mr. Big: Okay, yes. But this mind control will be a little different. Leslie: Wait. You're mind controlling other villains? Mr. Big: Why not? They're strong, good for heavy lifting. Mwah-ha! (to Whammer) Now, spin around and do a split. Mr. Big: Hee hee, yes! Oh, go to that fast food restaurant and steal that colossal clown statue and bring it to my mansion! Mr. Big: Clowns make me laugh. Mr. Big: Hey, Two-Brains. See that bakery, the one that's shaped like a windmill? Oh, that would be perfect for the ninth hole on my giant mini-golfcourse. Bring it! Mr. Big: Mind control never gets old. Narrator: Meanwhile, across town, WordGirl and Captain Huggy Face welcome new villain Guy Rich to the neighborhood. WordGirl: Here we are. Guy Rich: Listen, how many times do I have to tell you, I don't want to buy any Fair City scout cookies? WordGirl: Um... we're not here to sell you cookies, heh-heh. I'm WordGirl, and this is my sidekick Captain Huggy Face. Guy Rich: Oh-- WordGirl! I mean, oh, WordGirl. What a nice surprise. I wasn't expecting you. WordGirl: What's going on here? According to my information, you're supposed to be super-rich, and live in a colossal mansion. Guy Rich: (laughing) You think I live here? In this tiny house? WordGirl: I wouldn't scoff at the size of your house. Bigger isn't necessarily better. Guy Rich: (sighs) I know, I know. But-- tell that to the rest of the world. I mean, everywhere you look it's a contest to see who has the biggest car, or the most colossal TV. It's hard for a normal guy like me. WordGirl: A normal guy? Guy Rich: That's right. I'm a fake. A fraud, a liar. I'm just a regular old guy with a regular old job. WordGirl: I don't get it. Why would you pretend to be a villain? Guy Rich: Look at Mr. Big. He's got the world's most colossal miniature golf course right in his own backyard! Everyone looks up to him. WordGirl: W--wait a second. A colossal miniature golf course? That doesn't sound right. Are you sure about that? Guy Rich: Of course. He's rich! WordGirl: Hmm. Come with us. Mr. Big: My miniature golf course. It's so-- big! It's-- colossal! Now everyone will see that I am richer than Guy Rich. Leslie: Are you going to let these poor villains go now? Mr. Big: Soon. But first-- I'm going to play a round of golf. Guy Rich has one caddy, but look how many I have! (clears throat) My driver, please. Mr. Big: Ooh! A hole in one. Did you see that? WordGirl: Oh, I saw it, Mr. Big. And I also saw a whole lot of stolen property! Mr. Big: WordGirl! WordGirl: Your putting days are over, Big! Mr. Big: You're not going to get me that easily. (He speaks into his mind control device) Villains-- seize her! Mr. Big: Tata, WordGirl! WordGirl: Huggy, initiate plan number 227! Hey villains, snap out of it! Don't you know that Mr. Big is mind controlling you? Hey, stop-- put me down! WordGirl: Thanks, Huggy. Granny May: WordGirl? Dr. Two-Brains: What's she doing here? (pause) What am I doing here? (gasps) Is that a clown? What is he doing here? Don't like clowns! Whammer: I love clowns! Wham! WordGirl: Mr. Big has been mind controlling all of you. Dr. Two-Brains: Does she speak the truth, Mr. Big? Mr. Big: (sheepishly) Anyone for golf? Granny May: Mr. Big! You know the evil villain's association has a rule against mind control on other villains! We made the rule because of YOU! Mr. Big: Hey! Listen, if you think about it, the real villain here is Guy Rich, you know? Bragging about his colossal mansion and his fancy mini-golf course. Guy Rich is the reason I did this! WordGirl: That's why you built this golf course? To show people you're richer than Guy Rich? Aagh. Um, Guy, can you come out? WordGirl: Mr. Big, Guy Rich has something he wants to tell you. Guy Rich: Uh-- oh yes. I just want to tell you, MY miniature golf course is much bigger than this thing-- Guy Rich: Where is my golf bag? WordGirl: Guy! Tell Mr. Big the truth. Guy Rich: Okay, okay. I'm not really a rich villain. In fact, I'm not rich at all, I'm just a normal guy. Mr. Big: Normal? I don't get it. Well, you just seem so... rich. You-- you have a caddy! Guy Rich: Oh, he's not my caddy, he's my brother. We switch off. In the next town, he gets to pretend to be the rich villain, and I have to be the caddy. (to WordGirl) Do you mind if I leave now? I have to run to the laundromat and put my clothes in the dryer. Mr. Big: So, I built this enormous mini-golf course so everyone would think I was the richest villain in town. And I already WAS the richest villain in town! (chuckling) Wow. What a colossal misunderstanding. It's kind of funny... when you think about it... ? Whammer: Look! Mr. Big's under mind control! Granny May: Oh, Bi-i-ig... can you do a nice pirouette for a little old lady? Ha-ha-ha! Dr. Two-Brains: Wanna tap dance? Granny May: Forget the dancing! Let's go home and do Granny's dishes! WordGirl: Mr. Big is going to return this stolen property, then he's going to jail. Dr. Two-Brains: Little miss no-fun! WordGirl: Now, don't scoff, I did just rescue you all! Narrator: And so, WordGirl saved the villains from mind control, and showed Mr. Big the error of his ways. Tune in next time for more colossal adventures of-- WordGirl!
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