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| - " Fantastic, you sure are some blue light special aren't you?" asked Staff Sergeant Taz in Aua face, pleasantly. " Well, are you going to keep moving, or just look up in the sky and play turbo turrets ADHD with the eyeballs of gas you look to lust, afterwards? Come on, keep moving!" shouts Staff Sergeant Taz while launching the craft. While, familiarizing with the base, a droid messaged him to meet the Sergeant Major at the fishbowl( Non-commissioned officers headquarters). While inside the fishbowl. The Sergeant Major looks at him strictly. "Well, Private Aua, what honorable business career is your expertise?" "Sir, Radar Repairer, Sir." says Aua. " No bologna, now please, give me the actual bologna information for this honorable mission? " asked the staring Sergeant Major Tears. "Sir, just wanted to defend my galaxy, graduated from the 0-010 Radar and Satellite class of the 676 Division, Sir!" yells Aua. " Don't, bologna tinkle terd me, we all know you need someone to hold your hand and still be blessed as a special soldier throughout this redlight fantasy base. Crystal?" asked Sergeant Major Tears. "Sir, Absolutey Sir!" says Aua. " Then get out of my sight," says Sergeant Major Tears. Aua stood still, not a flinch or skin cell moved. The Sergeant Major looks around knew; he was checking if the private was following command orders and stands up eye to eye with Aua saying " You're dissmissed." "Sir! Yes, Sir!" yells Aua as he leaves the fishbowl. While heading to the Radar barracks, he spotted a boot camp buddy. "O... M... G... Mr. Fin?" yells Aua. " Ayayayayyayyai.. Misttoo Skeywalka, yousa looce bena en aan offeece party ... eh?" asked the Private Gungan. "Yeah..." sighs the eyebrowing Aua, "Slippery when wet in the fishbowl. Personally, I think he was expecting you next." Gulp, the Gungan does, also trying to hold the toots and piss at the same time. " Oh, cramp , come on it's just like your childhood, remember,... dude" says Aua. "Yayayaya, tat gue esa joost leeke me fata" says the Private Gungan while laughing in a death state. " Oh, woopidedoo" says Aua in relief. "Whoa,whoa,whoa,whoa, weeet e meeneete mesa chaildhoode suckda! Nononononono mesa boot caamp dreell sargeents bot tu wape mesa boodie. Nonononooooooooo!" Says the Private Gungan. "Queerterds, to Quarters, NOW!!!" yells a Zeltron Staff Sergeant woman. " Oh, you can funk me anytime," responds the Private Gungan. "Oh, go funk yourself" says, Noen a Trandoshan Privates introduces himself. " Gosh Darnit. Poopclowns move it!" says the speakers. The 69th Divisions moves into lines from the tallest and smallest sentient soldiers. An honorable Bothan First Sergeant observes his honorable 69th Division. " My name is First Sergeant Regret, of course, Regret, under the Galactic Basic standard, but, frantically I really don't give a stinkin' toot. It is my attention to deploy this division in zero hundred hours. If one gear slips from their pockets, doubletime(mixture of jumpingjacks and pushups). If one lock is loose from this base, doubletime! If this First Sergeant gives you an honorary notice of innocense, doubletime!! Rainbow Warriors do you understand me !!" "Yes, First Sergeant" shouts the 69th Division. "Absolutey,Okay, listen up, you maggot scum. When the droids open a craft elevator you are to follow me in an orderly manner to the first droid inprocessing station. There you will quietly enter and find a seat. You'll remain there until you are told otherwise. Duh?" "Yes, First Sergeant" shouts the 69th Division. "Panzies!" shouts First Sergeant Reget. "Yes, First Sergeant!!!!" shouts the 69th Division. "Better. Now get in there before I remember that I'm not a very nice guy and change my mind for the special turret and ADHD soldiers, fantastic, around this base." says Regret boarding the large elevator, while some soldiers smile on his remark while boarding the craft. While, every soldier was lining up for processing. The private gungan still had to go to the restroom really bad, but manages to hold it with special ways of treatments. The line stops right across the hall from the bathrooms. First Sergeant Regret yells, "Those of YOU who have to GO, GET in there, GO, and then get yer rainbow butts back here in line." The Private Gungan rushes,but is relieved by the warmth around him and otherwise , 10 minutes, everyone is in line again waiting for the droids to process them for their next mission. "Alright, planetdirt-balls, listen up! My name is Sergeant Hellbent. I've been assigned the miserable task of making sure your maggots complete the military in-processing forms properly. As it's been my experience that most sentients can't even read, we'll fill out the forms together, one computer at a time. Do not get ahead. You may think that some computers are asking for something, when in reality, it's asking for something else. Don't make me use up my limited supply of detonaters. As we complete each process, the last maggot in each row will form the droid to datalaze every molecule and poop cell you have and form the droid to bring it up front. Do you understand?" asked the Trandoshan Sergeant. "Sir, Yes, Sir!!!!" shouts the 69th Division. "Aaaa,Well then, Move Out!!!!!!" shouts the Trandoshan Sergeant. Every soldier scrambles to get out of the tight passageways. A few of the soldiers crash into some droids carrying Novacaine shots. Every soldier is wondering what's going on. A smallish (for a change) Commanding Officer Columi enters the room, "As you were. Sit down, please." Aua notes, with surprise that it's the Columi who helped him in becoming part of the military at the Recruting Center in the Galactic City. The one Columi with the neat diamond stars on his shoulders. The Admiral,named Admiral Beldar, like other officers doesn't yell like the enlisted ranks do, if they want to. In fact, Admiral Beldar seemed pretty straightforward. Spoke lots of words about how special everyone is, and how "challenging" the next few years will be; about how "proud" everyone will be when they will be relieved. The Admiral finally gave his last brief mission saying, " Listen up, the Galactic Senate has ordered the 69th Division to supply and defend the Galactic chemical bases and and peacekeeping bases. You will land 360 around the bases and supply chemical reactors to the colonial people and plantations of chemical industries, thus all you have to do is follow the tanks and convoys to a ridge near the equator and ship H2O to the chemical treatment plant and bases. You will not give them any water, only the molecule treatment water from the H20 tanks Is that understood Private Fin?" "Ster, yeth Ster. Mesa es te waddleboee ov te devis.." "You are the heart, and brains of this division. You will serve the convoy, and you will give honor to the credits of the galaxy. Is that clear?" "Ster, yeth Ster" shouts the Private Gungan and stands up. " Then move your nastylittlemustergallygaingions and move out and carry on!" Shouts the Admiral to the 69th Division as a team, while leaving the room. “Sir, yes Sir!!!!,” shout the 69th Division as they stood up with a hoorah. "Pull them sleeves up! I want to see nothing but bare arms. Both sleeves, dumdum!" yells the Trandoshan Sergeant. Then, all of a sudden, "All Units Report to the Hangar Area" Keeps repeating. "In the Crafts! In the darn Crafts, you maggots! Get your butts in the funky Crafts now! Move it! Move it! Move it!" speaks First Sergent Regret with poison gas. Out in the passage way was a wreck of soldier collisions; Aua and Fin dropped their soldierpacks in the collisions. Aua tries to help Fin and so does Noen. "Are you trying to go AWOL, on me, boy? Holy Darn, we ain't even started to have fun with you yet, and you want to check out? Is that it, dirt-bag? Don't you love it here?" asks the loud First Sergeant Regret. In a firm voice Aua tries to explain while retrieving his pack "Good! Good! That means you do love it here, don't you boy?" says First Sergeant Regret. "Yes, First Sergeant!" shouts Aua Skywalker . "Tell me, boy. Tell me you love it here?" "Yes, First Sergeant I love it here!" "How much do you love it here, toad?" " I desparately, love it alot.. Sir!!!!" "Good!" he yells." Doubletime! NOW Run, Maggot! And, if you stop running between here and there, I'll have you running all over til' Tatooine freezes over . Faster, you piece of Rancor dung! Run!". As he saved the crew from Doubletime, he was put last on a different craft away from Mr. Fin and Noen. " Would you like help with those legs to the craft, private?" asked First Sergeant Regret. " Sir, I am bewildered you've earned it sir!" says the exhausted Aua. "Congratulations, now do it you're twinkle self!" shouts First Sergeant Regret while leaving the passageway to another craft as Aua is struggling to the deployed craft. First Sergeant Bellows, from Naboo, continues yelling in a landing craft, "Line Up! Come on, line up you lunk-heads! Four deep! Four deep, not five, you idiots! Move it, move leave some space let's GO!!!" Landing Crafts are thus, loaded with soldiers near the Craft bay doors. Each one is shot in space from the Processing Station inside a BattleCruiser, and descending into the the thermal heat of the Hoth atmosphere. Nabooin First Sergeant Bellows stands up and orders the following commands, " Division # 69, on your feet!" The Division is stands up dreadfully for combat, "Lock on!" shouts First Sergeant Bellows on the speaker. The Division locks on. "Equipment Check!" Shouts the First Sergeant. They all check the Equipment " Sound off Equipment Check!" Shouts the First Sergeant. Each soldier shouts in order "10,000 ready!"... " One ready!" " Are we happy, hoorah?!!!" shouts Sergeant Bellows with a little mean grin. "Hell Yes, Hoorah," shouts the 69th Divison. The Craft shakes violently in the atmosphere. " Maintain your interval" shouts the droid leader. " Get ready...... prepare for crash landing and mission succesful." --- The Landing Craft woman's robotic voice systems reports the code "Reactor online, radar online, ammunition online, systems online, all systems nominal." The Landing Craft lands on a mesa cliff. " All right, get off my boodie glamourous stockpile starcraft let's go go GO!!!!" Shouts the charging First Sergeant out of the Craft doors. The whole Division and other divisions were to deploy at Charlie Bravo (Chemical Base) to supply and defend the people and the plant. When all divisions met the chemical base, they found all the peope's heads men, women, and children heads surrounding the chemical base with holocrons of pleading in front of the heads." No.....Nooooooo!" Shouts the First Sergeant Regret. He found his only child cut into ten pieces. " Yuuzhan Vong had help, " Whispers Noen, " their staffs are solid, but the murders are sort from insect bite marks, large and stronger than titanium of any kind." he franticlly, whispers. The Staff Sergeant Zeltron woman whispers something in Regret's ear. The First Sergeant cleans the blood off by cleansing radiation and shouts in tears, "Make camp!". Aua had to give the First Sergeant alot of credit of many honors, he came trying to save his son and to keep the 69th Division strong and dependable. One mission failed. As they camped and buried the people, they started to build an invisible defense and started partying in a mess hall. Aua, Fin and Noen were eating together when Aua suddenly saw a familiar face two tables in front of his table. The Quermian dude is in a special force unit? " Ready.. Proceed" says the Mon Calamari soldier next to the Quermian soldier named Bina. Bina starts to build his blaster rifle and stops under 07:59 seconds. " Eight seconds" says the Mon Calamari soldier. "Darnit!!, reload" shouts Private Bina. Mr. Fin actually loves this kind of competition and asked Noen to time him. While being timed to gear up all the units of the Blaster rifle, a little contraction accidently leaped out from the Blaster Rifle hitting the brown stained nose of Bina. The gungan's eyes shrinked into his head. Mr. Bina shows an evil stare, takes his trey of gunk and comes over to the table, and drops the contraction between the gungan's shrinking eyeballs. " Mr. Bina" says Aua giggling. " looking very political." "You better call a doctor or galactic ambulance, because I'm going to tear off your eyeballs and sprout it down your neck, do you understand me crabface! HAHH terdhead!" says the enraged and powerful Quermian. The Private Gungan stands up " HEyeyeyee. Mesa foure faatas seey Welax Taak et sweeetly, wesa a paart ov da sammmme saade. Wen da Gayatic Wepublic von de Galactic Gyactic Ceevil Waar Nami Zommweeda deed not geet allong weet Woan Feil. Ousa sodas ousa Allience Sodas, Eef de Yuusaan Vong adn't konkoed da Naboo zasteem measa wada been Zenata ov de Gungan" Bina almost breaks his neck while closely dozing to sleep and Aua chokes on some gunk hearing the guncan's honorable speech. "Zo mabye wesa bunch ov dasatas off da spaace plaaine, eh? Es obvoius, boot sum ov yousa gais av been earsa zo long tat youasa bains a frieeed! Zo waat mesa esa twying da seay esa..." eating a mouthful of gunk " toaat meaaans whee cauunt baaey fwaands, eagh?" "There's only one problem " says the smiling Quermian. The gungan barfs up the gunk. , and the coloful Quermian says " Yousa, don't eat mooch" and starts to spray the gunk sprayers toward the private gungan, but the gungan ducked down and it sprays the Commanding Columi. "Attention!" shouts a soldier. Everyone stands up, and the Admrial comes close to Bina and says, " AS YOU WERE!" Everybody sits and eats except Bina. "Son, your are the best private for pealing gunk and headtubes” "Yes sir" "Can we count on you?" "Yes sir " shouts the Quermian in tears. "Carry on" says Admiral Beldar leaving the mess hall. "Sir YES SIR" everyone stands and shouts. ___ Midnight sirens everywhere around the base, and collsions are worse than ever. "Get up, you lazy SOBs! Up! Out of those rack tubes right now! Up! Move it! Move it! Move it!" shouts the urgent First Sergeant Regret. What in the galaxy is going on? Is it an attack? I just closed my eyes a couple of minutes ago! many soldiers thought. "It's 0200, you lazy Rontos! Time to move! Move! We do more before 09:00 then you lazy teletubbies have done in your entire lives! Move! Up! Get your lazy butts up, now!" "You've got two minutes to gear up your blastor rifles,blastor pistols, packs , suits ,skiboots,ski-infrared goggles, and thermal detonators, two minutes, move!" Massive pandemonium as everyone scrambles, all around, Divisions split up and gear their bunktubes functioned and recharged and dives into their bags for shorts and Winter proof boots and ready for combat in the cold-desert plains of perfection and independence. The long steady journey showed no mercy for the fallen domino affect of soldiers making a straight road of fallen soldiers to the equator. "Suppresing fire!" one ensign reamarked to see supposedly movement. When First Sergeant Regret came to scene he saw what looked like bubbles. Inside these bubbles were three soldiers trapped into suffocation, one of them is Private Fin. The First Sergeant pokes the bubble. "Aaa" says Fin as being zapped inside the bubble. " Who did this to you?" asked Regret. "Ca't..da.....yasa...ster" "What's a matter You have to much ' hona' "UGhhhhh!" Private Gungan's eyes twitch " Te tretn ass weet depd!",.. or ..(They threatened us with death!) " Pop these clowns and give them some goshdarn treatment H2O darnit!" barks First Sergeant Regret as he uses a H20 tank hose to pop Fin's bubble and jab it right into the gungans mouth while the gungan's head inceases. Divisions split and Mr. Fin is stationed in a hovermech convoy. Everyone can hear the Sergeant Major Tears's holocron in Mr. Fin's hovermech convoy. " Private, you better give me a funkydarn reason why you're sitting in the love seat and not in halftrack with the rest of your honorable noob division?" Gungan smiles away." Eet waas mesa faat ster. Eff eet wasn't for tat aamosh and for first Sagent Weget devision tu blo mesa, mesa woodn't aft tu ssi yousa teery face opon me naaa...." " This is the Galactic Unity's Army , not a goshdarn global carnival, son; I'll see my chemical reactors are back in halftrack, in the next deployment base!" interrupts Sergeant Major Tears and is televised out without any ending messages. " Wadger, Wadger, paadon mesa, ota an ouoot" replies the gungan as he knew he was heading back to the chemical base with other convoys without Aua and Noen on their main mission. The the 69th Division was finally coming close to a glacier they smelled something funny coming closer.... Three Battlecruisers orbit Hoth and Holocron message Coruscant, while one an astronaut Sullustan satellite mechanic was watching a distress signal in Hoth. "G.S.S. Coruscant we have a problem." G.S.S. NAVCOM Control:" Copy that, Boga, we're not scheduled for any satellite infared gamma launches are we, over?" Sullustan Mechanic in Sullustan talk:"Negative, Negative, stand by, we have a code red I repeat code red, over!" G.S.S. NAVCOM Control:" Copy that, Boga, Holorecord feed on Tracker 1 is clear." Coruscant Holo Controls:" G.S.S.NAVCOM CONTROL, this CC Control Cleaner we're tracking the radiation, We're looking into it by Tracker 1, stand by. " The radiation poison exeed's out of the Hoth atmosphere and into space. Boga's last report: "Control, this is Boga, uh, ahhhhhhhhh!" and is consumed by the radiation and melting alive in the space suit. On Hoth the soldiers start to camp, a wide green radioactive bomb slowly explodes while increasing the poison ball of electron molecules everywhere. Speeder crafts fly out of order, droids star shooting and soldiers start going green. " What the hell's going on?" Asked a soldier. " Find a dogone ditch now! Watch out for those mines!" says First Sergeant Bellows. The radiation electrons consumes the sentient soldiers and most starts to melt them all alive. " Ohhh Bluuuuaaaaaaa" cries a soldier as his face starts to melt off his head leaving the skull. Panic, screams, and mayhem of bodies starts to make Aua blind and suffocated. "Keep moving we' re almost their son!" yells First Sergeant Bellows. "LOOK OUT!" says First Sergeant Bellows as he pushes Aua in a cave to save his life from a falling Battlecruiser in space. Aua is now and will always have the respiratory problems from this Incident. The soldiers skeletons looked like they came close to the cave. Aua finally struggles to breath normally in the cave. Aua now feared in terror, looks at the vast skeletons from his cave and walk into the deep cave. He hears voices, "halt!" he shouts. All of a sudden, "Well are you going to shoot or give me some warmth and loving?" asked First Sergeant Regret. " First Sea.." "Shut your ... Vong are all around 360 and they have a special ally with them." whipers Regret. Bina interupts, "What the hell are we going to do now man! Vong are flanked on all sides, G.S.S. terd falling from the sky! We're skrewed man , we're totally...." " Shut up, get a grip Private, our blasters still work which means you can still kick some boodie, Duh?" The Cave shakes from a Battlecruiser crashing the cave. " What the hell was that?" asked an Ithorian soldier. "Stay here" says Regret. " You're going out there are you nuts? " says the impatient Ithorian. " It's over, clear, come on we still have an incident to fight." says Regret on his mini phone speaker. They move out of the cave. " What the hell happened here?" asked Bina. Aua stuttered the message. " Ohh, man it's quiet out here" says the Ithorian. " Hey is your Holoprobe working, mines out." asked Aua. " Mines down too, oh ayayayaye" says the impatient Ithorian. "Aua when was the last coordinations on your position?" Asked Regret. "Sir, the last coordinates were Echo 44, 45 Whiskey 45, 80, Sir !" "Ohh, Watch out!" an elevator descends and crashes from the G.S.S. wrecked Battlecruiser with a skeleton rolling down. " Oh, darnit" says Regret noticing it was Bellows. " All right we're going to regroup whoever's left out in the desert, no baby boasts about it. Move out, Private Bina take point, let's go." says Regret. Aua comes near the Ithorian " Let me guess, Bina, Regret and your split division .....ambushed?" "Ohhh, they came an all sides ripping us with their Rancors. We tried messaging a signal to them and then the green house affect broke loose with a massive radiated b..." " Intruder alert!" says Bina aiming his pistol to movement in the blizzard. " I don't know the dogone countersign, I'm just a runner, don't shoot!" says Noen while coming out of the blizzard in camaflouge. " The code is your number, what do you proceed Private?!" asked Regret. " My division was also attacked and abducted near the equator. I 've picked up a rechargeable transmitter while I escaped. I transmitted a message to Admiral Beldar's space station. Admiral Beldar will lead and assemble a task force to defend Charlie Bravo. You need to keep heading up north to counterattack the Yuuzhan will prepare a nuclear attack on the base." Noen says while leaving. "Where the hell you going?" asked Bina. " Get to Charile Bravo, go!!!!" says Noen disappearing in the blizzard. " You heard the Trandoshan , let's go." says Regret. While heading back about a mile near the Chemical Base they came to a treatment plant. They start securing the building. The Ithorian opens a number code through a door, shots fire hitting the Ithorian in pain. Yuuzhan Vong start shooting, throwing detonaters, while stealing a hover tank convoy mech. Regret and Bina use most of their ammunition while Aua was treating the healing radiation to the Ithorian. While a hover tank convoy mech was about to aim the at the squad a snowspeeder out of space dives in straight forward and blasts the hover tank Convoy mech, doing a barrel roll all the way to the Chemical base. They follow the snowspeeder's sound and finally hear a familiar voice. They were met by thousands upon thousands of stranded soldiers heading to the Chemical Base. " Hustle up, to Charlie Bravo gosh darnit move!!" says Noen in the center of everyone running to the base. The stranded soldiers finally reached an insuing great battle between Admiral's Landing Craft parties and the Yuuzhan Vong trying to defend the Chemical Base. The lost battalions finally counterattacked and flanked the Yuuzhan Vong, a terrorizing bloody battle pursued of teeth byte marks and and nail thrashing! While the Galactic Unity NAVY and ARMY units secured the base. A detonater was near the mantle of Hoth. The Galactic Unity tried pick up as many soldier back to the fleet, all of of Aua's companions were either isolated decapitated or vaporized, while he was one of the last to be picked up with the injured Ithorian. He tries to carry the Ithorian. Aua's back starts to crack. Then the ice starts to crack and lava bursts out. The Soldiers are piling the the landing crafts so badly some landing crafts actually go out of order and descend into the deep cracks. The Landing Crafts were ready and Aua shoots a spindle to the last Landing Craft already floating up in sthe clouds. As he and the unconscious Ithorian reached altitude the base is nuked and the electrical ion radiation came close to Aua's face. He starts cough blood and goes to unconsciousness. Once again, he dreams he's in to the 5th dimension of the void. He started seeing swirls of mini stars, nebulas, planets, and universes surrounding his body until it overpowered him, and finally woke up by the lights, and nurse droids. " Ohhh, hello Mr. Skywalker" says Bina in a frog throat talk with a titanium neck bracelet. " Fine, doing Private, consider yourself relieved with the highest honors for all independence." Says Admiral Beldar a meter away from the tube saluting. " Looook! Coruuuscaaant! Tey a r celebratiieng, apy ne yaaaaa!" says Fin while scaring the Ithorian out of his tube. Shouts, holocrons, dancing, and (Aura Borealis)light colors in space flew throughout the galaxy and bouncing off the party Cruisers. Aua comes out of the tube and into another New Era in space. While hovering HoloNets and sentient people of every kind were,cheering, dancing, having sex, or celebrating a new relief, Aua finally looks out at the window, in space, to see the beautiful celebrations of Coruscant. He finally, sighs and says "home". He leans near the plasma windows seeing an eclipse as well with the celebration and finds his second birthmark fading. Coming closer, to the echoing music of Coruscant, Aua mummers to himself. " Greatness not by character, but by destiny for many as well , of course for the less. Be prepared. "
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