About: Red Teacup   Sponge Permalink

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Captain Red Teacup was a British explorer, navigator, alcoholic, drug dealer, and a real storyteller, ultimately rising to the rank of Captain in the Royal Navy. Red Teacup was the first to map The Eastern Lands {Notice picture at bottom of page} prior to making three voyages to the Eastern Ocean during which he achieved the first Asgarnian contact with the coastline of Eastern Islands as well as the first recorded circumnavigation of Gielinor.

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  • Red Teacup
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  • Captain Red Teacup was a British explorer, navigator, alcoholic, drug dealer, and a real storyteller, ultimately rising to the rank of Captain in the Royal Navy. Red Teacup was the first to map The Eastern Lands {Notice picture at bottom of page} prior to making three voyages to the Eastern Ocean during which he achieved the first Asgarnian contact with the coastline of Eastern Islands as well as the first recorded circumnavigation of Gielinor.
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abstract
  • Captain Red Teacup was a British explorer, navigator, alcoholic, drug dealer, and a real storyteller, ultimately rising to the rank of Captain in the Royal Navy. Red Teacup was the first to map The Eastern Lands {Notice picture at bottom of page} prior to making three voyages to the Eastern Ocean during which he achieved the first Asgarnian contact with the coastline of Eastern Islands as well as the first recorded circumnavigation of Gielinor. Red Teacup joined the British merchant navy as a teenager and joined the Royal Navy in the year 158 5th age. He saw action in the Varrockian War, and subsequently surveyed and mapped much of the entrance to the River Lum during the siege of Al-kharid. This allowed General CrushTheKing to make his famous stealth attack on Shantays' Pass, meanwhile Red Teacup also used his ship to trade illegal substances from other lands to make large sums of gold, and help fuel his country's economy giving them great financial advantages over most countries. This helped to bring Red Teacup to the attention of the Admiralty and Royal Society in Port Saram. This notice came at a crucial moment both in his personal career and in the direction of British overseas exploration, and led to his commission in 162 5th age as commander of HMS Hellfire Teacup for the first of three Eastern voyages. Red Teacup (being the father of the word Neocolonialism) charted many areas and recorded several islands and coastlines on Eastern maps for the first time, and posted videos of them on YouTube. His achievements can be attributed to a combination of seamanship, superior surveying and cartographic skills, courage in exploring dangerous locations to confirm the facts (for example Sailing towards the uncharted eastern-end of the map on a drunken rampage), an ability to lead men in adverse conditions by scaring the hell out of them with threats of blowing up the ship if they didn't do what he wanted, and boldness both with regard to the extent of his explorations and his willingness to exceed the instructions given to him by his own imagination. Red Teacup still to this day imports strange hallucinogenic substances from unknown lands that he absolutely refuses to tell anyone about, and then sells them at semi-reasonable prices on the streets of every RuneScape city.
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