The Laconic is all well and good, but some of them are a bit too short. What they need is to be stuffed with Filler and doused in flowery language, to the point where it all becomes a crufty mess. (Imagine reducing a 1000x1000 pixel picture to 100x100, then expanding it to 1000x1000 again. That's the Unlaconic Laconic Wiki.)
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