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| - The Funions that we know and taste today are a far cry from the original Kool Aid/Parks love child. In 1973, on the Funion homeworld Yo Yo Ma, a peaceful alliance existed between the native Ewoks and the Funions. On one infamous day, the best friend of the son of the Ewok King Humprey the Humpback Whale the Third's chief Master Baiter violated the sanctity of the honorable Funion Pope Tom in a penetration of his most private of orifices. This caused the honorable Funion Pope Tom to spawn the atrocious contagion of MySpace out of his bleeding behind. Many Funions were outraged at the Ewoks for their lecherous anal rapage, but some Funions sided with their long time allies. Civil Funion War broke out on Endor, and there was much flamage on My Space. Many men cried, but this time period (to b
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| abstract
| - The Funions that we know and taste today are a far cry from the original Kool Aid/Parks love child. In 1973, on the Funion homeworld Yo Yo Ma, a peaceful alliance existed between the native Ewoks and the Funions. On one infamous day, the best friend of the son of the Ewok King Humprey the Humpback Whale the Third's chief Master Baiter violated the sanctity of the honorable Funion Pope Tom in a penetration of his most private of orifices. This caused the honorable Funion Pope Tom to spawn the atrocious contagion of MySpace out of his bleeding behind. Many Funions were outraged at the Ewoks for their lecherous anal rapage, but some Funions sided with their long time allies. Civil Funion War broke out on Endor, and there was much flamage on My Space. Many men cried, but this time period (to be later labeled as the Quebec Movement) birthed Boxy McCutter, the fashion statement of wearing tube socks to cover genitals, and the popularity of leather fedoras. The war came to an end when Edgar Allan Poe, who had been buried alive in 1872, remembered the teachings of Baby Jesus and punched his way out of his grave in 1976. Edgar Allan Poe enlisted the help of Marilyn Manson and Ozzy Osbourne and enslaved the entire Funion race, forcing the Funions to work on his papyrus farms in Egypt. In 1983, God led the Funions out of Egypt to the promised land. There was much rejoicing, and they consumed plentiful milk and honey, which caused their original taste, which was close to the musical taste of those who like bands such as Hanson, to become the sweet but oniony taste we know today.
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