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| - EXT. SKOOL PLAYGROUND - DAY Dib: Subject Woozly: possible werewolf or-HEY!! Zim: HAH! Prepare for the end, Dib! You've just been splashed with my most diabolical creation EVER! Dib (terrified): AAARGH!! IT BURNS!! I'M MELTING! Zim (confused): Wait...that's not what it does. Dib (calm again): Oh, oh yeah. So what DOES it do? Zim (gleefully evil again): It causes anyone who gets happy to blow up! MUAHAHAHAHAHAH!! Dib: But I'm NEVER that happy, especially when I'm covered in goo. Zim: You may have won the war, Dib, but you have not won the...the thing bigger than war. I will create more happy popping juice and sneak up on you when you're happy! Dib: I won't be happy until you're destroyed! Zim (FLUSTERED): NEVER!! NEVERRR!!! AAAAGH!!! Keef: Wow, Dib you're so lucky to be friends with Zim I was friends with Zim once. Those were the best days of my life! Dib: Friends? Um, actually- Keef (dreamy): Isn't he just the best?! Dib: Look Keef- (getting an idea) You know what, Zim is the best. And I have something that'll make him really happy. Wanna help? Keef: Boy, DO I!? If I make him happy, Zim might even let me come near him again without taking my organs out! YAY! Dib: Great, here's all you have to do! Just take this BRAIN ROTTER, and put it on Zim's head! Easy! Zim loves these. Keef (cont'd): Hey, buddy! It sure has been awhile, huh? Dib: ARGH! BRAINS...MELTING! Keef: WOW, look! He really IS happy! INT. DIB'S HOUSE - LATER THAT DAY Keef: Heya, pal! (to Gaz) That's my friend, Dib. Dib: KEEF?! Um...I don't think us being friends is gonna work out. Go home. Keef: Oh, okay Dib. I gotcha. INT. DIB'S ROOM - CONTINUOUS Keef: Welcome to your room, Dib! All that dark, spooky stuff was making you sad. Dib: WHAT THE?!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!! Keef: Aww... SOMEONE I know is GRUUUM-PEE! You get some rest so we can play with Zim some more tomorrow. Dib: Zim and I are not friends, Keef! I wouldn't be friends with him if he were the last person on Earth! And he's not even a person! EXT. MEMBRANE'S FRONT YARD Keef (shocked) Weeeee! Zim and Dib aren't friends? I'm going to make them friends, and they'll be so happy, they'll like me even more! EXT. ZIM'S HOUSE - NIGHT KEEF Hey, GIR! Keef: I missed you too! I need you to do something very important. You need to tell Zim to invite Dib over for dinner. Keef: But GIR, it will make Zim happy, and you want him to be happy, right? INT. ZIM'S LIVING ROOM - THAT NIGHT Zim: Invite my filthy nemesis to sup at ZIM's base?! Into MY base for foodening?! GIR: But he so nice. You just gotta give him a chance, and open up his head and sleep in it like a squishy little bed. Zim: WHAT? Look, NO. Invite Dib over...that's insane, even for YOU. EXT. ZIM'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS Keef: Hmm...I'll just have to think of something else. MONTAGE - EXT. ZIM'S HOUSE - INT. MEMBRANE FAMILY BATHROOM - INT. SKOOL HALLWAY - THE NEXT DAY EXT. DIB'S ROOF - NIGHT Dib (to himself): Oh no, Keef, you're not getting anywhere near my house. The security system is on and- Dib (cont'd): Ahhh! Keef: Hi, BUDDY! I've got news for you, Dib. (loud whisper) Top secret news. Dib: Don't your parents wonder where you are? Keef: Yeah. Anyhow, my news is about Zim. Dib: Yeah, yeah, he's a great guy, I know. Keef (being sneaky) That's true, but the news is he's ready to talk to you. He wants to admit to being a ghost or whatever. Dib (not buying it): Oh he does, does he? Keef: He sure does. He's just bursting with wanting to-tell-you-ness. Are you bursting with to wanting-to-hear-it-ness? Dib (flat): Yes. Yes, I am. Keef: Great. Zim will meet you tomorrow night at 7:00 at McMeaties. Dib: The McMeaties on Maple? Keef: No. Dib: The one on Haverford? Keef: Uh-uh. Dib: The Greenbush one? Keef: No. This is fun! Dib (losing it): No it isn't, Keef! It isn't fun at all! Which McMeaties?! Keef: The other one on Maple. Dib: Fine. Keef: (o.s., flying): See ya buddy! INT. MCMEATY'S - THE NEXT DAY Zim: So, uh, here we are. Dib: Yep. Keef says you wanted to tell me something. Zim: Yes, yes. I sure do. Dib: Isn't Keef just great? Zim: Boy oh boy, yes...So, I'm an alien. Dib: Hmm... I thought so. Well, thanks for letting me know. Now we can be friends forever. Keef: I DID IT! You guys are friends now! YAY! Dib (muttering): That's right. Zim (also muttering): We sure are. Keef: I knew it! Now we can ALL be the best friends, and hang out all the time, and we can rent an apartment in the city, and get a car with three steering wheels and buy footy pyjamas and- Dib (suddenly frantic): Oh no! Footy pyjamas! ZIM! THE PLAN! NOW!! Zim: AHAAA!! Keef: -and we'll spin around and get sick, because that's just so fun, and we'll get jobs fixing copier machines, and oh, it'll be- (extended dialogue) Dib (teeth gritted): Nothing seems to be happening. Zim (teeth equally gritted): He must not be happy enough. We're gonna have to make him happier. Dib (disgusted): You mean...? Zim (with much disgust and hate): Yes.... Keef: OH WOW! LOOKIT THAT! You're even better friends than I thought! WOW!! Dib (irritated): He's still not popping. Zim (almost in physical pain): We'll have to do more. Keef: YAAY! SO HAPPY!! SO HAPPEEE!!! Dib: I think he's almost there. (loudly) Zim, you are the best friend a guy could have. What with your smart...arms and nice sense of... evil. Zim: Thank you, good friend Dib. You, too, are a pile of friendship and a wonderful display of human boy...nice. Keef: It's okay, everybody. I'm alright. Zim: Ahem...He'll be out for a few weeks, so I guess that's that. EXT. MCMEATY'S - CONTINUOUS Dib: Hey, you admitted to being an alien! Zim: That was just part of the act. Dib (suddenly triumphant): But I videotaped it! Zim: AGH! Is that hug on there as well? Dib: Huh? Huh? Ahhhh! Dib looks at the camera, horrified. He shrieks and smashes the camera on the floor. Zim takes the opportunity to kick Dib on the butt, knocking him to the floor. Zim runs off, and Dib, furious, chases him. END.
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