Preferably by someone who knows Andy, by which I mean read his Wikipedia page. Padddy5 20:03, 13 June 2009 (UTC)
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| - Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Andy Richter
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| - Preferably by someone who knows Andy, by which I mean read his Wikipedia page. Padddy5 20:03, 13 June 2009 (UTC)
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| Mcomment
| - Haven't I said enough yet? Oh, alright then. There's a lot of promise in this. It needs a little more work but it's close to what you're after. For you images I'm sure you know what to do - think visually about it, and always check out UN:BEST for ideas on what works visually. For the Spelling and Grammor, once you have this where you want it to be, if these are not your strength then chuck on the page and be lazy about this aspect.
Just be warned, the proof-readers may be English, and therefore your spelling may be a little less Americanized Americanised then when you left it alone. Oh, and "Its" denotes ownership, whereas "It's" is an abbreviation for "it is". Wherever possible mix the two of these up before sending it through to be proofread and listen to those arteries clang!
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| Pcomment
| - Spelling is good, grammar is passable, layout and overall appearance let you down in a major way. Look at it all on one page from across the room can you see big block of text, contents box, big block of text new header, a few smaller blocks of text header, and big block of text? If not you may be short-sighted.
Break up your text. A paragraph is a single thought, potentially an extended thought, but when shifting from one train of though to the next you should also switch paragraphs. Remember your audience have a potential Flesch-Kincaid reading level of -0.75 - they may have just been conceived. Long blocks of text are too hard for them to read. Just as an example I let this paragraph just go on and on and on and on and on and on and on. I mean I can switch concepts in here as well. Did I mention that I have to put my towels on the clothes line today? They carry towels with them in Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy. Roger Waters did an album about the Pros and Cons of hitch hiking that suggested most hitch hikers were only a short step away from prostitutes. I've never been with a prostitute, but I used to go to a brothel a fair bit as a young adult as they had cheap pool tables and cheap booze, and I was poor. Plus there were half naked girls wandering around, which usually doesn't happen at most bars I go to. Can you see how hard it is to wade through all this crap?
Oh, paragraph 3 under career - pull this out as a block quote so that... as well as giving a more "encyclopaedia" look.
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| Icomment
| - Minimum of 1 image per 1 page down of the article. We like to look at the pretty pictures. They do relate to the article, but they're not funny in and of themselves. Although having said that I did give an extra 0.5 for the caption on the second image - that was funny, but not hysterical. 1, maybe 2 more images, and really funny images, would make this perfect.
An image search on Google gave me this, this, and this all on the first page. I'm sure a more thorough search can find more entertaining images.
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| Ccomment
| - I love the concept, and really would love to see this improved. What lets it down is the name-value of the man, which as I did have to look him up on Wiki in order to remember him dropped it a point - unfortunately unless you start acting as a press agent for him, not much of a chance of changing it. But the eternal sidekick part I love. I would also suggest bringing the up to the top of the article just before the first heading, as this will position it below the intro photograph.
If you've ever seen the movie "Mallrats" you'll know that there is a few references to Brodie being TS's sidekick, and Brodie's reaction to this is what you want to have in this article as Andy's voice. If you haven't seen the movie, then buy it.
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| Fcomment
| - In Summary:
# Escalation
# Repetition of the sidekick joke
# The truth will make you fret
# Repetition
# Break up your text ( Must ensure that I find a good hyperlink for this before I publish this review )
# A pitcher paints a thousand words especially the greek urns with all the fancy cuneiform.
# Repetition
# Proofread your work and ensure that there are no spilling ore Gramma eras. Spill cheques r god.
# Repetition of the sidekick joke
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| Signature
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| abstract
| - Preferably by someone who knows Andy, by which I mean read his Wikipedia page. Padddy5 20:03, 13 June 2009 (UTC)
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