abstract
| - Many possible causes of global warming have been raised by old men with long beards and white lab coats. These people study data about stuff (often to do with things) and come up with theories about the causes of Global Warming, including; greenhouse gasses, ocean currents, increased solar activity, changes in lifestyle choices by the northern reticulated monk squirrel, cosmic rays and a reduction in natural levels of freemasonite in the earths crust. And whilst there have been a number of theories on what is the cause of ‘global warming’ (aka. the ‘Global Dutch Oven Effect’ or GDOE), at the same time a list of 'who we can blame for it' has been devised to allow easy channelling of blame, especially away from ruling governments. There have been numerous viable candidates put forward by 'theorisers', the profession of people who produce theories on any of life’s mysteries without any scientific or factual basis (see also; Politician, Priest). Candidates include;
* Gays
* Lesbians
* Blacks
* Fatties
* Asians
* ‘Rich Whities’
* Eskimos
* Aliens
* Eric Cartman
* Free Radicals
* Gluten Haters (aka 'Celiacs') These are all in some way responsible, and probably part of a much larger, rich tapestry of diverse groups responsible, all of whom deserve full disapprobation on this matter.
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