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| - Ballroom Dancing is a class offered in the Fall Term at Whateley Academy.
- Ballroom dancing, commonly referred to as "The World's Most Plausible Cause To Get Laid", is known for its subtle and not-so-subtle movements of the human body. Originally developed as an Allied countermeasure to German break dancing, Ballroom Dancing was later adapted so that parents could enable their children to receive sexual education under the pretence of learning an art form. Sometimes they were too successful, so ended up sending their grandchildren for dance lessons as well (and so on). Though the dances did eventually evolve into a modern art form, their roots as a substitute for chocolate are still evident during social dancing today. "Private lessons," improvement of "technique," and "contact sport" have all taken on double meanings; even formation dancing has become a metaphor
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| abstract
| - Ballroom Dancing is a class offered in the Fall Term at Whateley Academy.
- Ballroom dancing, commonly referred to as "The World's Most Plausible Cause To Get Laid", is known for its subtle and not-so-subtle movements of the human body. Originally developed as an Allied countermeasure to German break dancing, Ballroom Dancing was later adapted so that parents could enable their children to receive sexual education under the pretence of learning an art form. Sometimes they were too successful, so ended up sending their grandchildren for dance lessons as well (and so on). Though the dances did eventually evolve into a modern art form, their roots as a substitute for chocolate are still evident during social dancing today. "Private lessons," improvement of "technique," and "contact sport" have all taken on double meanings; even formation dancing has become a metaphor for "wild orgies." Thus ballroom has had ups and downs, decline and growth, even sudden spurts of intense popularity, thus providing us with yet another fitting, albeit overused and somewhat crass, sexual metaphor. A common misperception that ballroom dancing is "gay" has evolved for two reasons: some of the music originated in the extremely gay 1930s; and often women dance with each other while their husbands are preoccupied watching men in tight pants play American football on T.V., all the while afraid to dance because they've heard that it's "gay." However, queer studies theorists have thoroughly researched this issue: ballroom dancers are just as likely as fencers, badminton players, and Aussie-rules football players to pummel same-sex researchers who invite them to discreet encounters. Ballroom has become increasingly popular because it is an enjoyable, social way to stay active and healthy. Television programs such as "Strictly Come Dancing" and "Dancing With the Stars" promote such a health-oriented lifestyle, while allowing many people to participate in dance without being the least bit social or active. Furthermore, with more and more sexual content on television, adults prefer their teenagers to watch such "decent" shows that promote artistry and fitness. Of course, youths already understand that dancing is really a simulation of sexual activity (as are most things to adolescents). This is the main reason Jim Bakkum won the dutch first season of "Dancing With the Stars": hordes of 15-year old girls voted for him, since they preferred to see him naked more than Irene van de Laar - which of course turned out to be a revealing mistake...
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