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| - Arthur: Have you ever been with someone who... Muffy: Wait! Wait! Slow down! Arthur is saying, "Have you ever been with someone who..." OK, you can keep going! Arthur: ..someone who has to write down everything that happens? Muffy: "Someone who has to write down everything that happens?" Arthur: Stop! I'm TRYING to play tennis! Muffy: Arthur misses the shot. Your backhand needs some work. [ARTHUR GRUNTS] Muffy: Arthur grunts when he serves. Arthur: What?! No, I don't! Muffy: Now Arthur is losing his cool. Arthur: I am not losing my cool! I just don't like you writing down every single thing I do! Argh! Muffy: Arthur, I think you would do a lot better if you pay more attention to the game. Ohh! Muffy: Excuse me! Excuse me! I have an announcement! This holiday weekend, I will be going to Costa Rica! If you want to learn more about my exciting adventures, you can visit my new blog. Mr. Ratburn: Thank you, Muffy. I'll try to swing by. Can I bring anything? Brain: Blog is short for weblog. When you blog, you write your thoughts in a computer file and post them on a website for others to read. Mr. Ratburn: Fascinating. I have to write this down. Muffy: As I was saying, even though none of you can afford to come with me, don't feel bad - just read the Muffington Post! Trip: Hey, hey, I'm Trip. Can I help you find something? A USB port, peripherals, MP3s? Mr. Ratburn: I'm looking to get a new computer. One that can connect me to...the... internet. Trip: They all do that. What kind of connection do you have now? Mr. Ratburn: Er...none, actually. I do have a telephone. Trip: A newcomer like you should start with our most...user-friendly version. It's pricey, but well worth the expense. Mr. Ratburn: All right, class. Your next project will involve research on a favourite author. Now... Muffy: I'm back! Arthur: How was Costa Rica? Buster: Was it rainy? Binky: Was it as great as you said in your blog? Brain: How did you get to blog so much? Muffy: Now, now. I know you have lots of questions about my trip, and I promise to answer them all later - on my blog. Binky: Did you need to learn Costa Rican? Muffy: Binky! They speak Spanish there. I think. Anyway, just post your questions on my blog. Even though I'll only have time to respond to the best ones. Buster: "The response to my blog was overwhelming. Many of you commented that my blog could change the face of blogging." Arthur: Now she's blogging about...blogging?! Mr. Ratburn: Where are those instructions? This is it? But there's no writing on it. Ah, I probably have to put it in the computer. But how do I turn the computer on without reading what's on this silver disc? It's a paradox! Muffy: And with the MySmartphoney, I can connect to the internet anywhere! Francine: Cool! Can you get on the internet now? Muffy: I've been on since I got up. In fact, I should write about this right now in my blog. Francine: What are you writing? Muffy: You'll just have to wait and see! Francine: Hm. Muffy: Hey! Where'd they go? Probably running home to read my blog. Muffy: [GASPS] But...I was in the middle of a post! Mr. Ratburn: You can have this...calculator back at the end of class. [BELL RINGS] Mr. Ratburn: This is indeed a fascinating device. But it's now allowed in the classroom. And you need to do other things in life besides blogging. Muffy: That's true! If I don't do other things, I won't have anything to blog about! Thanks! Francine: Can we PLEASE do something else? Muffy: Hold on! I missed a lot of post today when Mr Ratburn took my phone. Francine: But I came over to your house to do something together! Muffy: OK! Let's read my next post together! Francine: I'd rather just talk to you. Muffy: Oh, Francine. Talking is so 20th century! Francine: [SIGHS] Mr. Ratburn: All right. Booting up, and...Huzzah! I'm connected to the internet! Computer: 'You have 17 new messages.' Mr. Ratburn: My, that was fast. "Earn money from home without doing any work"? Now THERE'S an idea! Muffy: So, has everyone read my blog today? Francine, Buster and Binky: [SIGH] Muffy: Why not? I wrote about the colours I'm thinking of for the new curtains in my room. Buster: Muffy, your blog is getting a little...boring. Muffy: [GASPS] Binky: You can't just write that you had a salad for lunch. Who wants to read that?! Francine: A blog needs to have an angle. Something people CARE about. Francine: Jules Verne began his career writing for Opera. [PHONE RINGS] Hello? Muffy: Francine, I found an angle, just like you said! Are you at your computer? Francine: Yeah, but... Muffy: Go to my blog! It's important! Francine: [SIGHS] Francine: "Your humble blogger dissed by BFF. Take the poll - Was Francine right or wrong to refuse to read her best friend's blog? Vote now!"?! Ooh! I can't believe her! "Dear Muffy, you have no right to take a poll about whether I should read your silly blog." Buster: I don't think there was anything wrong with your e-mail to Muffy - No matter what the polls say. Francine: How do you know what was in my e-mail? Buster: Muffy posted it on her blog. Francine: She what?! Muffy: Francine, that fight we had was great! It generated the most traffic I've had in a week! Francine: (That was just between you and me! Can't anything be private?!) Muffy: That's a good topic for discussion! I'll post it! Buster: My mom says, "Never put anything in an e-mail that you wouldn't want on the front page of a newspaper." Francine: Newspaper! That's it! Brain: Taking the Frensky Star online makes good business sense. All set - the online edition is up and running. Francine: "It has long been the policy of the Frensky Star to speak out against injustice. Therefore, we must condemn a new bully of the blogosphere." Brain: Aren't you supposed to cover news? Francine: Our motto is "the latest in Elwood City news and opinion." Brain: But that's ALL opinion. Where's the news? Francine: I've got it! "Breaking news - The Frensky Star is now online!" Muffy: "Bully of the blogosphere"?! Ha! "Some people aren't just bad friends. They're also copycats. How much of a copycat do you think Francine is? Copycat-ish, very copycat-ish or extremely copycat-ish? Vote now!" Francine: The nerve! "Just when we thought it couldn't get any worse, The Muffington Post hits a new all-time low." [PHONE BEEPS] [COMPUTER BEEPS] Arthur and Buster: [GASP] Mr. Ratburn: "Dear N. Ratburn, Congratulations! You have won a great deal to buy swamp land in Florida." Goody! Close... No! Not more windows. Close! Close! Arthur: Have you been following Francine and Muffy's feud on the Internet? Buster: It's better than the time the bionic bunny battled Darth Bunny in the 7th dimension. Arthur: Don't you feel bad that you're enjoying their fight so much? Buster: I felt bad for enjoying Bionic Bunny's galactic exile, but that didn't stop me from watching it. Francine: I did not. You started it. Muffy: I was just blogging. Francine: You wrote that I wasn't your best friend any more. Muffy: You wrote that I betrayed your trust. Francine: Well, you did! Brain: Hey, guys! You've got to come look on the library computers. There's a whole website devoted to Muffy and Francine's feud! Both Francine and Muffy: What? Brain: "And the funniest part is they're both doing the same thing they're accusing the other one of." Signed, Mr Chatterblog. Muffy: He has no right to say those things about us. Francine: Who is this Mr Chatterblog anyway? Binky: So, do you like my blog? Francine: You? Muffy: You? Binky: Hey, I call them as I see them. I already got 112 hits. Muffy: We don't need to take this, do we, Francine? Francine: No, we don't. From now on, if I insult you it's going to be in private. Muffy: Ditto! Arthur: "Frensky Star and Muffington Post announce merger." Muffy: That's right! We're pooling our resources. Francine: And we're starting a new advice column called ‘She Said, She Said’. Muffy: You send in your problem and get two opinions about what to do. Mr. Ratburn: Muffy! You were completely ahead of the curve on this internet thing. My new Boysenberry allows me to post from just about anywhere. Francine: You're writing a blog, Mr Ratburn? Mr. Ratburn: It's called The Rat's Nest. It's mainly devoted to correcting common solecisms and grammatical errors. You should post your comments. Francine: Er...maybe later, Mr Ratburn. Muffy: Want to go to the park? Francine: I thought you'd never ask. Mr. Ratburn: There are also some delightful puns on my blog. And word problems and photos from my trip to Reykjavik.
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