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| - Announcer: We'll be back with more mind-shattering adventures in science in just a moment when Professor Membrane returns. Door guard: Whoa! Whoa!! Audience tryouts are on the OTHER side of the building! Dib: No, (pant) I have to get in to see Professor Membrane! Door guard: Nobody gets in to see Professor Membrane without a security clearance! Dib: You don't get it! He's my dad! Dib: Dib: Really, I need him to sign this! Dib: Will you cut that out!?! Dib: If I don't get him to sign this, (Dib pulls a permission slip out of his vest and waves it around) the world as we know it will be destroyed! Door guard: Okay. You explain it to me. Dib: Okay... Swollen Eyeball: Agent Mothman, your fellow Swollen Eyeball members agree to see this presentation of yours at 8:00 sharp tonight. But you will need a signed permission slip to attend tonight's meeting. Dib: Are you kidding? I need my dad's permission to save the world? Swollen Eyeball: Don't try faking a signature either. The paper is programmed to explode in just such an event. Dib: Well, they at least gave me this chance to present my findings on Zim. I can't mess this up. Dib: Mankind depends on it! Dib: Hey! Dib: Gaz! What are you doing here? Dib: I can't believe I don't have handcuffs to lock this thing to my wrist! Okay, checklist. Briefcase, permission slip, extra copy of permission slip just in case... I think that's it. Dib: Oh yeah! Thanks, Gaz! Don't want to starve to death while saving the Earth! Gaz: Let it be known that from this day, until the end of the day, vengeance will be mine. Dib, you will not know the meaning of peace, for I shall rain misery down upon your pizza-stealing heart! Gaz: I thought I'd help you out. Dib: Thank you, Gaz. It's about time somebody helped out. You'd think people would be a little more eager to help fight off an invading alien swarm. Dib: Now if you would just show me to the- Door guard: Professor Membrane is shooting his show. The only way you get to see him is if you make it into the audience. Dib: But he's my dad! Door guard: Other side of the building! Door guard: Fanboy... Robot: This is the Professor Membrane audience admissions exam. Dib: You need to take an exam to be in the audience? Robot: This exam will test your knowledge of science, math, and the personal history of Professor Membrane. Dib: How am I supposed to know what Dad's first sentient thought was? Gaz: It was, "I will poop now." Gaz: It's here in his autobiography. Rejected Girl Heh, that's not it, it's- Dib: How did you get in here? Gaz: I took the staff entrance. Dib: There's a staff entrance? Dib: Fine! Maybe I don't know Dad's first poop, but I can beat this test with my superior knowledge of science. Robot: 94 percent. Your score is... Robot: UNACCEPTABLE! Robot: Evaluating... 94.1 percent. Your score is... acceptable! Congratulations! Dib: Okay, that was annoying. Dib: But at least it was easy. Announcer: Welcome to the audience admissions test, round two! Dib: Round two? Dib: Gaz? Gaz: Staff entrance. Announcer: Junior scientist, choose your science tool! Dib: Okay... Announcer: Now, let the battle begin! Dib: Battle? Shunk Wugga: Feel the power of Shunk Wugga! Shunk Wugga: Don't worry small friend. Shunk have plan. We end in tie we both go see show. Dib: What? Okay, Shunk was it? Announcer: Point goes to contestant number one! Shunk Wugga: All of Shunk's dreams not come true! Dib: I'm not sure what kind of test this is, Gaz, but I seem to be doing okay. Shunk Wugga: Little guy betray me! Shunk feel hurt like never before! Gaz: You know, he says he could slice you.... Gaz: Like a pizza! And your head is hideously misshapen. Shunk Wugga: No! Announcer: Battle 2 of 3! Test your knowledge of combustion with Pyrochaos! Dib: What does this have to do with science!?! Shunk Wugga: Come down. Dib: Nnnno... Shunk Wugga: Come down and face Shunk. Dib: No. Shunk Wugga: SHUNK! Dib: How did you pass the verbal portion of the exam anyway? Announcer: Score goes to contestant 2. Let the tie breaker begin! Dib: It may be time to change strategies. Gaz: Yeah? Maybe I can help. Dib: Tell Shunk I'm willing to reconsider his offer for a tie. Gaz: Dib says he wants you to explode and your head is still big! Shunk Wugga: Doctor say big head not mean anything bad! Shunk not bad! Shunk eat enemy! Announcer: Prepare for the final contest! Testing your knowledge of the insect world and cybernetic death machines, cyborarachnarama! Dib: Cyberachno? Spider robots? Do spiders have robots? Dib: Hey, Shunk, how 'bout we do that tie thing now, eh? Shunk Wugga: Big head can go off and explode huh? Dib: See? It's a tie! This way we both win! Shunk Wugga: Shunk destroy! Announcer: The winner is Shunk Wugga! Announcer: All losers leave the arena. Now. Dib: Wait! I'm Doctor Membrane's son! Run a DNA test! Dib: You gotta believe me! Dib: Come on... listen... to me... lemme... go! Dib: Gaz! Help me! I'm sorry about your tacos or whatever, just help me... Dib: Excuse me, do you have a pen? Door Guard: Here you go. Slip: Forgery alert. This permission slip will self destruct in 5 seconds. Guard: Hey, get back here! You! Guard: Watch out! Dib: Dad's dressing room must be around here somewhere! Dib: You gotta sign this! For the sake of all mankind! Prof. Membrane: Now, now. I don't sign autographs backstage, little boy. Dib: Little boy? Dad, I'm your- Guard: There's the intruder! Get him! Dib: Noooooo!!! Planet Earth, doooomed! Door guard: Next time, we'll call your parents! Or legal guardian! Dib: This is awful. When the aliens have come and we're all slaves to their alien evil, will the world ever know how hard I tried? Will they? Huh? Huh? Door guard: Oh yeah, Professor autographed this for ya. Dib: My permission slip! I can give my presentation! I did it! the world is saved! Dib: I can do my presen- Dib: Ow! Dib: My fellow Eyeballs. I won't make you wait any longer. What you are about to hear and see will... um... will... Dib: Uh... Could we reschedule this?
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