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| - SpongeBob’s Band Chapter 1: Getting the band together, Day 1 Disclaimer: No, I do not own SpongeBob, or anything that may pop up during the story. It was just a regular Monday morning; SpongeBob woke up, and went to work at the Krusty Krab. When he got there though, there was a weird beat coming from the front order desk. SpongeBob snuck up and noticed Squidward tapping a nice beat on some drums. It was at that point that SpongeBob had the best idea of his life… form a band. “Squidward, you want to join my band?” SpongeBob asked. Squidward started to laugh hysterically. “Wait you were serious?!” Squidward asked being completely puzzled. “Yeah, I’ve already wrote a song, it goes like this” “OH! My name is SpongeBob and I like pie It is very neat (NEAT) It tastes like chicken If you add some pickles But if you don’t it smells-- How do you spell it? I don’t know Cuz I’m a rocker On my crack! Yo! It’s spelt… P I E P I E P I E P I E! PIE! “Oh my god SpongeBob that was… the best song in the world! It expresses feeling and shows that our band sucks!” Squidward yelled. “Okay Squidward, you will be our drummer. Then Patrick will play guitar, Gary will play bass, I will play the electric triangle!” SpongeBob replied. “Who will be our singer?” Squidward asked curiously. “ME!” SpongeBob yelled happily. They both screamed like retards. “Get back to work!” Mr. Krabs yelled. So, they both went back to working on there stations. That night SpongeBob got Squidward, Patrick, and Gary together to explain there bands first assignment. They all had to write one song. (Except SpongeBob since he already wrote some) so they left for home and started to make some lyrics for some songs. The next morning they got together. “So Gary, how does your song go?” SpongeBob asked. Gary cleared his voice and said (Like a person) my song is called MEOW… Meow, Meow, Meow I do that all day It’s getting very old And it’s very gay I wish that I could stop it At least a little bit Cuz it makes me sound bad This isn’t very rad I’m now-- Turning emo-- I’m now-- In pain I feel Alone! Without Any…one. Meow, Meow, Meow You can’t stop me now Meow, Meow, Meow You can’t stop me now You can’t stop me now No You can’t stop me now! Meow, Meow, Meow I do that all day It’s getting very old And it’s very gay It’s very gay Just-- Like-- Your-- Mom-- -ay-- Your Mom-ay! YEAH! “Good Job Gary, Patrick you’re next” SpongeBob said. “Okay, SpongeBob mine will be a number 1 hit! It is called … Patrick Star” Patrick replied. I’m Patrick Star I have a sword I fight cactors Because I’m bored I like to ride On chockaboes It’s better than Having afros And when I go Into an Inn 15 seconds It’s day again And I will use A phoenix down So when I die I will not frown Because I am Pat My hair defies all gravity And I can’t have too much tobacco Or I Might get cavities! I am Pat I am Pat I am Pat I am Pat PAT! YA! I have to go to the bathroom. “Good Song Patrick, now you can go Squidward!” SpongeBob said. “Finally! Well, first of all, I am deciding to go emo so this is my song…” Squidward replied. E is for emotional ruins everybody’s day M is for Miserable people O is for on the dark side Cuz we have some fresh cookies COOKIES! WOO! “That was my first song called… The emo song. This song is called… It’s the devil.” Squidward said confidently. It’s the devil, he’s takin over us It’s the devil he wants to kill me It’s the devil, he’s takin over us It’s the devil he’s chasing after me The devil’s comin People are running There’s no way to stop this madness (to stop this madness, to stop this madness) It’s the devil he’s takin over us It’s the devil please don’t come after me Oh no it’s the devil so just run quickly He’s takin over us now we can’t even see. We’ve lost all hope We’re going crazy If you look at my eyes you’ll see the devil inside of me It’s the devil he’s takin over us It’s the devil he wants to kill me It’s the devil he’s takin over us It’s the devil he’s chasing after me (It’s the devil) He’s dragging me with him I don’t have a choice He’s dragging me to hell Oh no this sucks! I see him now I thought he would be the last thing, I ever saw But Somehow I got away Only to here him say (You die today) day -day -day -day It’s the devil, he’s takin over us It’s the devil he wants to kill me It’s the devil, he’s takin over us It’s the devil he’s chasing after me Yeah… me! “Oh my god!” SpongeBob yelled. “That was good!” “I wrote a song to… It is called it was you. I wrote this song for my ex-lover.” I never thought That it would be you To break My heart To pull me down into The abyss Of pain But I guess I was wrong And right now I’m wonderin’ Should I stay Or should I go It’s a question Even I don’t know-- It was you That broke my heart It was you Who tore me down It was you that betrayed-- our love! I’m carrying A broken heart Even though I won’t need it anymore Because you Just ripped it out Though I’m not dead It just still hurts It was you That broke my heart It was you Who tore me down It was you that betrayed-- our love! I can’t Get over you You’re truly amazing You make me laugh You make me smile But most Importantly You make me Me-- But It was you That broke my heart It was you Who tore me down It was you That betrayed our love It was you It was you It was you It-- Was-- You-- “Okay… so lets rate all the songs, first let’s review… MEOW, by Gary.” SpongeBob said enthusiastically. Patrick: It made me pee my pants… it was hoffirific! YAY! I give it a 4/5! Squidward: It made me wish I was still a virgin! I give it a 0/5 SpongeBob: That was… very sexy! I give it a 5/5! Next, we will rate Patrick’s song. Gary: Meow. “Gary! That is inappropriate!” SpongeBob yelled in the background. Squidward: It showed very powerful emotion. It was great! 4/5 SpongeBob: I like pie! And you! And not just as a friend! 5/5! Next, we will review Squidwards first song… the emo song! Gary: Meow, Meow, Meow. -7/5 Patrick: I’m on the dark side too. Cuz… I did Winnie the Pooh. 3/5 SpongeBob: Good. 3/5. Now, his second song. Gary: Meow! (Fuck you) -2/5 Patrick: You have a big carrot! Sexy!! 5/5 SpongeBob: The words suited you… it was very good! Now you can rate and review my song! Gary: MEOW! 5/5! Patrick: I knew you would write to Pearl! That was awesome! 5/5 Squidward: That will be a number 6,001,060th hit! A…MA…ZING! 5/5 “So we got our first 6 songs… MEOW, Emo song, Patrick Star, It was you, It’s the devil, and PIE.” SpongeBob said. So tomorrow we will make the next 6. But our first business… names. What should we call our band?” SpongeBob said. Patrick: The buttfaces! Squidward: Amnesia and Vomit! Gary: MEOW! “You know, I’m starting to wonder if Gary can talk.” SpongeBob thought to himself. SpongeBob: I like the name the Poopsicles. Patrick: Or even better… the buttfaces who make poopsicles have amnesia and say meow! Gary: MEOW! Patrick: Like that! Squidward: That works fine. SpongeBob: Yeah, it’s great what do you think of the name, Gary? Gary: MEOW! SpongeBob smacks his forehead… “No, Gary. Yes, or no?” “Oh… yes it’s a great name.” Gary actually replied. “UH! Well, Gary since you don’t speak A MER ICAN we will just say you like it” Patrick replied disgustingly. “Next order of business, what type of music should we do?” SpongeBob asked. Squidward: Rock Patrick: We’re doing music? SpongeBob: Blues Gary: MEOW! MEOW! MEOW! MEOW! MEOW! MEOW! MEOW! MEOW! “All right Gary, we’ll take a pie break!” SpongeBob yelled. After the break, they all decided to sing mainly rock music. And they already scheduled there first gig at the Krusty Krab. That gig was… tomorrow. The band got together right away to head to there first gig, it was going to be huge! A lot of agents were watching and many other things like that ready to sign them. Plus, all the people in Bikini Bottom is gonna be there watching who they think will be the biggest band ever. Also, Michael Jackson was going to see if SpongeBob was good enough to get back together! The buttfaces who make poopsicles have amnesia and say meow will make the biggest splash Bikini Bottom has ever had! Disclaimer: Once again, I do not own SpongeBob, I am glad I don’t own Michael Jackson, and I own most of the plot line, but SpongeBob and a band has popped up in the show before so it is only partly my idea. Authors Note: I hope you liked Chapter 1, I am trying to have the longest SpongeBob story on fan fiction. I do not think it is going to happen but… what the heck. If you have any funny lyrics for songs, it SpongeBob and his band the buttfaces who make poopsicles have amnesia and say meow may sing your song in an upcoming chapter. Also, if I really like it, I may put it on Y O U T U B E. I will contact you if I am planning on doing this though. Thank you for reading! PLEASE REVIEW! PLEASE FAVORITE! Chapter 2: The band’s first gig, and new relationships. Genres for this chapter: Humor, Crime, romance, suspense. Disclaimer: No, I do not own SpongeBob SquarePants… that would be great though! The band got together right away in the morning to discuss there first gig. “Okay everybody! Today, we will be going to the Krusty Krab to perform. First, let’s make posters to advertise to Bikini Bottom and other local cities.” SpongeBob said. “What local cities?” Squidward asked. “We’ll put them in… Buttface, Hell, Michael Jackson Village, Losersville and… Hookers Town.” SpongeBob replied joyfully. The posters said… Come watch the best band in the world… the buttfaces who make poopsicles have amnesia and say meow. Our band consists of… SpongeBob SquarePants on the electric triangle, Gary on the bass guitar and sometimes the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, Patrick Star on the electric guitar, and then Squidward on the drums. Where: The Krusty Krab When: Noon, on Monday, August 17 Our songs that we will be playing… Patrick Star, It was you, and it’s the devil Everyone is welcome! They headed off to the Krusty Krab, in just 2 hours, there first gig would be on! SpongeBob was aware that the band’s first gig is usually a disaster, so he decided to give a pep talk to the rest of the band. “Do you guys want to be known all around the world?” SpongeBob asked. “Do you want to be cool? Do you want to be rich?” He continued. Of course everyone yelled “yes” as loud as they could. “I know a special trick to stay calm… punch somebody!” SpongeBob yelled. “I would show you how, but my partner Pearl dumped me for Clay Aiken, so everyone look for someone and start punching them!” SpongeBob painstakingly said. Patrick walked up to Squidward, and they started punching each other, Gary went up to a turkey sandwich and started beating it up, and SpongeBob got his cousin Blackjack, and started punching him. They just continued fighting for 45 minutes. All of a sudden they heard a loud bang outside. They all stopped beating each other up, and looked to see what was going on… A tiny brown thing the shape of a Popsicle was banging against the door trying to get in. So SpongeBob let him in. After that he heard a very soft “get them” from the brown thing all of a sudden, one million smelly brown things started jumping all over them. They were buried under it. “Attention crazy fish! You are probably wondering what we are and why we are killing you… we are poopsicles! And we are embarrassed that stupid creatures like you partly share a name with you!” The small brown thing said. “WE’LL DO ANYTHING IF YOU LET US LIVE! WHATEVER YOU WANT WE’LL DO IT!” Patrick yelled scarcely. At first they just heard slight whispering then the poopsicle replied… “Sing a song about how great we are!” So the band unfortunately had to agree. Finally after a whole 17 seconds of thinking they came up with a song… Poopsicles are awesome Poopsicles are hot Poopsicles are sexy And they are smelly. NOT! They are the smartest creatures In the world! They use lots of crack Yes I am aware They are the Best-- In the world! They are the Best-- In the world! YA! Poopsicles are awesome Poopsicles are hot Poopsicles are sexy And they are smelly. NOT! I’ve asked myself A couple of questions Do I have A normal sized-- (Patrick coughed) Or is it just a-- Sexy beast-- That’s a question-- I wish to find-- I’m sayin’ that Poopsicles are awesome Poopsicles are hot Poopsicles are sexy And they are smelly. NOT! They are the smartest creatures In the world! They use lots of crack Yes I am aware OH YEAH! I SAY OH YEAH! I SAY! OH-- YEAH! -- They showed the poopsicles the lyrics… “Sing these today… they are amazing!” The poopsicle leader said. It was now 5 minutes to 12. SpongeBob checked to see who was there. Of course it was a full house. And after looking around for a while he saw what he was looking for. His ex-girlfriend Pearl was there with his new boyfriend Clay Aiken. SpongeBob stared at him jealously for a little bit, then turned away. “Ladies and gentlemen!” Mr. Krabs announced. “The Krusty Krab is proud to present the best band in Bikini Bottom, the buttfaces who make poopsicles have amnesia and say meow!” SpongeBob, Patrick, Gary, and Squidward walked out looking extremely cocky. SpongeBob started out by saying… “Hello, our first song that we are going to sing will be It’s the devil made by Squidward our drummer.” It started off just as a drum solo. Then some hard guitar kicked in. Followed by a loud ding of SpongeBob’s electric triangle, then a sandwich shaking around by Gary. Then SpongeBob started to sing… It’s the devil, he’s takin over us It’s the devil he wants to kill me It’s the devil, he’s takin over us It’s the devil he’s chasing after me The devil’s comin People are running There’s no way to stop this madness to stop this madness, to stop this madness It’s the devil he’s takin over us It’s the devil please don’t come after me Oh no it’s the devil so just run quickly He’s takin over us now we can’t even see. We’ve lost all hope We’re going crazy If you look at my eyes you’ll see the devil inside of me (At this point SpongeBob yelled… “Gary, Sandwich solo!” Gary started shaking his Sandwich fast making a gay noise.) It’s the devil he’s takin over us It’s the devil he wants to kill me It’s the devil he’s takin over us It’s the devil he’s chasing after me It’s the devil He’s dragging me with him I don’t have a choice He’s dragging me to hell Oh no this sucks! I see him now I thought he would be the last thing, I ever saw But Somehow I got away Only to here him say You die today day -day -day -day (Patrick’s Guitar solo happened here) It’s the devil, he’s takin over us It’s the devil he wants to kill me It’s the devil, he’s takin over us It’s the devil he’s chasing after me Yeah… me! The audience went wild for the band. “Sorry, everyone. We will not be singing Patrick star, because we were threatened by poopsicles. So instead we have to sing the song we wrote to them. This song was more of a school choir song, barely any instrument, they all sang the whole time. Once again, the audience went crazy. “Okay everyone, we are gonna finish off today with a song I wrote for my ex-girlfriend… Pearl. The song is called it was you.” I never thought That it would be you To break My heart To pull me down into The abyss Of pain But I guess I was wrong And right now I’m wonderin’ Should I stay Or should I go It’s a question Even I don’t know-- It was you That broke my heart It was you Who tore me down It was you that betrayed-- our love! I’m carrying A broken heart Even though I won’t need it anymore Because you Just ripped it out Though I’m not dead It just still hurts It was you That broke my heart It was you Who tore me down It was you that betrayed-- our love! I can’t Get over you You’re truly amazing You make me laugh You make me smile But most Importantly You make me Me-- But It was you That broke my heart It was you Who tore me down It was you That betrayed our love It was you It was you It was you It-- Was-- You-- After that song the crowd clapped harder than anyone else in the world has ever clapped before. “Thank you for coming out tonight! I hope you enjoyed.” SpongeBob said to the audience. They all took a bow and then headed too backstage. After the show, Pearl walked up to SpongeBob. “Will you sleep with me tonight? He asked. SpongeBob went crazy and happily said “yes”. Next… even more unbelievable stuff happened. “Hey kids, my name is Janewell Fuzzy-Buttburn. I am an agent, and I can help you guys make a record deal… trust me… it will go huge!” The man said. The band huddled (and Pearl) then they accepted. That night, more scary stuff happened… SpongeBob and Pearl of course slept together… and Pearl got pregnant! Also, because of there huge hit at the Krusty Krab, Mariah Carey got together with Gary, Paris Hilton got together with Patrick, and Squidward (looking for a lot of drugs) got together with Paula Abdul. The next morning they started to plan there next gig… it would be at Sanjaya Malakar’s birthday party! They also made a new song… it will be there theme song… We’re the buttfaces-- who make poopsicles-- have amnesia -- and say meow. We have sexy dates! Except for SpongeBob! Cuz he has the gays We eat pie We pretend to die We’re in porn! All morn! We may use drugs And have ugly pugs We’re looking for hookers All day long Cuz the Cheetos Are attacking! You know that’s true! We’re not drunk We’re just gay HOORAY! We’re the buttfaces-- who make poopsicles-- have amnesia -- and say meow. OH YEAH! We’re the buttfaces-- who make poopsicles-- have amnesia -- and say meow. WE SAY MEOW! The band completely flipped out when they heard this. To finish off the day they went to Y O U T U B E and checked out a video of there songs. The video with its the devil… had 14,053,173 views, the one with Poopsicles had 7,901,956 views, and It was you had 16,999,995 views! (Cuz it was being sung for Pearl) they all went to the local strip club to celebrate. And as a result, SpongeBob SquarePants decided to name his future baby Sexy Strip SquarePants. They were about to call it a day when SpongeBob remembered he never told his parents Pearl was pregnant. So, SpongeBob called his parents to tell them the good news. “Mom, Dad, its SpongeBob. Me and Pearl slept together last night and she got pregnant! I am gonna name it Sexy Strip SquarePants.” SpongeBob happily told his parents. No one answered and SpongeBob heard a loud clunk. Hugh, he thought to himself, they must have been so excited they past out. SpongeBob kept going on his business until… he heard an ambulance go by. He followed it (mainly because he was drunk) and found out… when his mom and dad fell on the ground, they committed suicide! “Oh my god! Why did they kill themselves?” SpongeBob yelled. “Well, apparently they wrote a note saying since Pearl got pregnant, and the other adult that would be parenting would be SpongeBob, the put themselves out of there misery.” The police man said sadly. SpongeBob slowly and sadly went back home. He lay down in bed, and went to sleep. For the next morning, would be they first day in his life that he had to live without a parent to protect him. This was obviously the saddest moment in SpongeBob’s whole life. Preview for the next chapter: SpongeBob writes some very depressing but yet good songs, for his parents. There is also a little argument that will go through the band. Also, Gary decides to learn how to pole dance. Authors Note: The song called… It was you, I actually wrote. I wrote it about 4 months ago when my girlfriend broke up with me. Thank you for reading my story… once again my goal for this story is for it to have at least 100 reviews by the end up June, and be the longest story about the Show SpongeBob SquarePants… please support me in my goals. I have a lot of fun making stories and I want to have a very successful one. PLEASE REVIEW! I REALLY WANT TO REACH MY GOAL OF 100 REVIEWS AT MINIMUM! Disclaimer: Once again no, I do not own SpongeBob, and I own most of the plot line.
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