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| - Hiccup: [awakens, startled] What the-?! Tuffnut: [through the horn] Goooood morning, Dragon's Edge! Iiit's Tuff! Ruffnut: Aaand Ruff! Tuffnut: Aaand Chicken! Tuffnut and Ruffnut: In the mooorning! Ruffnut: Alright folks, now it's time for your weather forecast. Today's it's gonna be freezing cold. Ruffnut: And tomorrow will be, well, freezing cold! Snotlout: Leave it to you two muttonheads to use the Thunder Ear backwards! Tuffnut: Ooor...are we using it right-wards? Tuffnut: To inform the masses! Ruffnut: Plus, the earwax on this thing keeps our lips from chapping! Ruffnut: [to Tuffnut] You know, we really should market this. Tuffnut: OK, let's check the old mailbag and see what Terrible Terror Mails came in last night. Ruffnut: Oh, here's one for Snotlout! "I miss your snuggles, too." Signed, Mommy. Snotlout: Hey! That's private! Ruffnut: Whoa, this one's addressed to us! "Dear Ruff and Tuff, your cousin Gruffnut is on his way to visit you today..." Tuffnut: Wait, Gruffnut? Gruffnut's coming here?! Today? Oh, no. Look at me. I am a mess. Alright, show's over, I gotta go get ready. Tuffnut: [chanting] Gruff is coming, Gruff is coming, Gruff is coming...Gruffnut's gonna be here any second. This place needs to look nice. [to Ruffnut] You wanna help, just a little? Ruffnut: No. Heather: OK...I'm new here. Who is Gruffnut? Snotlout: He's their cousin. We've never met him, but Tuffnut worships the guy. Tuffnut: [scoffing] No I don't, even if he is a totally awesome world traveler and fearless adventurer. Ruffnut: Yeah, you say "traveler," I say "drifter." He just wanders into our lives every few years. Tuffnut: Hiccup, what do you guys think about me...taking over the reins around here? You know, just while Gruff is around? Hiccup: Don't you remember what happened last time you were in charge? Flashback ends.] Tuffnut: To be fair, I was only in co-charge of the island, so I think we all know who's fault that really was. Gruffnut: Did this island just get 100% more amazing or is it just me? Tuffnut: Gruffnut! Oh, my hero! Ick, cousin, how are you...friend? Tuffnut: Gruffnut, these are the Dragon Riders. Dragon Riders, this...is the Gruffnut. Gruffnut: Hello everyone, and the always fabulous Ruffnut. Ruffnut: Eh...cousin Gruffnut... Hiccup: No one mentioned the...family resemblance. Tuffnut: I don't see it at all. Gruffnut: Oh, me neither. Tuffnut: Sooo, cuz...what have you been up to? Gruffnut: Oh, the usual. Winning my weight in gold. That sort of thing. Fishlegs: How does one win their weight in gold, exactly? Gruffnut: Yeah, spear throwing competition. Of course. Snotlout: Whoa that's a lot of gold. Could I see it? Maybe hold it and caress it? Gruffnut: Gah, I'm sorry, but I don't have it anymore. Ruffnut: [sarcastically] Ohhh, what a surprise. Gruffnut: Yup, gave it all away to the poor. Tuffnut: Generosity is only exceeded by your adventure-osity. Ruffnut: I have an idea...cuz. Why not show everyone your awesome spear-throwing skills that won you all that gold that you conveniently don't have anymore? Gruffnut: I'd be happy to put on a little exhibition...except that my arm is still injured from...that shipwreck...that darn shipwreck... Ruffnut: What shipwreck? Gruffnut: I didn't mention the saving of the sinking shipload of orphans? Tuffnut: Oh, no. Buried the lead, I guess. 'Cause you're so humble. Gruffnut: The most. Well, enough about me. Tuff, what have you been doing while I was out winning fortunes and saving orphans and defeating the Kraken? Tuffnut: Well, uh...I..I-I-I have Chicken! Gruffnut: [smirking] Oh-ho. Tuffnut: Um... Hiccup: Hey, Tuffnut, why don't you show Gruffnut around the base-uh...uh around your base? Gruffnut: Your base? Whoa. Tuffnut: Well, it's not really my base...I-I just designed it, built it, run it. C'mon, follow me. We'll give you the grand tour ahead. Ruffnut, escort this chicken to its quarters. Tuffnut: The dock is down there. And, uh, there's the stables. Gruffnut: Oh, and that's where you keep the dragons. And I bet that's well-guarded. Tuffnut: Eh, not really. Who's gonna steal a dragon? I mean, unless you can fly one, you're not getting very far. Gruffnut: Right. Of course. Hadn't thought of that. Tuffnut: Yeah...that's why they put me in charge. I think of things. Tuffnut: I designed the arena roof to be totally de-tractable. Hiccupt: Re-tractable. Tuffnut: That too, retractable and de-tractable. See? You just use this lever. Tuffnut: And this is where I do all of my inventi-ish-iating. Gruffnut: Is that a bed over there? Tuffnut: Yeah, I let Hiccup sleep in here. You know, to guard my inventions. Like this one. Tuffnut: With this, I can really fly. Like a dragon! I'll give you a little demonstration... Hiccup: T-Tuffnut, no... Tuffnut: This invention is my sword of fire! Gruffnut: That sounds magnificent! How does it work? Tuffnut: I'll show you. You just...these...don't.... Hiccup: No no no NO NO NO! Tuffnut: I've been...meaning to do that, actually. 'Cause I needed...better...ventilation in here. Hey! Check this out! Hiccup: Hey-uh, actually, would you mind if I talked to...my boss here, for a second? Gruffnut: Sure, and uh, Tuff, don't be too hard on him. Accidents happen. Tuffnut: It's going great, am I right? Hiccup: Uh, no. Look, I'm sorry, Tuff. I was trying to help you out, but this is not working. Tuffnut: What do you mean? Sure it is. Tuffnut: Uh... Hiccup: You have to tell Gruffnut the truth. Gruffnut: Tell Gruffnut the truth about what? C'mon, no secrets! There's holes in the walls. Tuffnut: OK, fine, I don't actually run the base. Gruffnut: Tuff, no need to embellish. Everywhere I go, I hear about your heroic exploits. Fighting dragon hunters, saving islands...you don't need to lie to impress me, Tuffnut, because you already have. Tuffnut: [sniffling] I wanna say for the record that I am not crying. I just have...a bug in each one of my eyes. In the same place. And it's irritating each of them equally. Gruffnut: Hey, you know what would be awesome? If the two of you heroes took me on a ride on that dragon of yours. Ruffnut: What? No. Sorry pal. Look, it's sort of a two-person set up. I don't think all three of us- Tuffnut: So, what do you think? Gruffnut: Incredible! A-and I gotta say, flying doesn't seem that hard! Basically, you just lean one way or the other. Tuffnut: Yeah, that's pretty much it. Rufnut: [sarcastically] Oh, sure, yeah, not that hard at all. Anybody can do this. Gruffnut: Oh, OK, whoa... Ruffnut: Whooohoohoohoo! Yeah! Gruffnut: Oh my, oh my! Tuffnut: Take it easy, Ruff. Ruffnut: What do you mean, "take it easy?" An adventurer like cousin Gruffnut? C'mon, this is tame! Gruffnut: Oh, no! Gruffnut: Hey, Tuff and Ruff, thanks for the dragon. Ruffnut: What? Tuffnut: Huh? Gruffnut: Ha-ha! Ruffnut: What was that? Did you just try to steal our dragon?! Gruffnut: Don't be ridiculous. Ruffnut: You said, "Thanks for the dragon!" And then took off. Gruffnut: Yeah? 'Cause I was making a joke! Tuffnut: Yeah, Ruff, can't you tell when it's a joke? Tuffnut: Gruff, speaking of jokes, you're always looking for fresh material on your adventures. Gruffnut: That sounds magnificent! Ruffnut: Huh...let's keep an eye on cousin Gruffnut. Ruffnut: Hiccup, I'm telling you, I saw him go in there. Alone. You know? By himself. Hiccup: Excuse me. Gruffnut: Uh, whoa. Gruffnut: Whoa, hey! Hiccup: Toothless, easy bud. It's OK. Ruffnut: Gotchu. Gruffnut: You sure did. I'm sorry but I just couldn't help taking a closer look at this magnificent tail device! Ruffnut: What?! Gruffnut: Amazing workmanship, Hiccup! You know, I'm a bit of an inventor myself. Ruffnut: [sarcastically] Oh, yeah, right. Tuffnut: There you are, Gruff! C'mon, I've got the boars greased, pig prime. Gruffnut: Oh, ha, sorry Hiccup, uh, another time, perhaps? Tuffnut: Huh, gee, Ruff, I only brought two boars. Gruffnut: Yeah, you'd get "boar-ed" just watching. Get it? "Boar-ed?" Tuffnut: Yeah, hahaha! I love it! Tuffnut: Goooood morning Dragon's Edge! It's Tuff...aaand... Ruffnut: Ruff. Aaand... Tuffnut: Wait, where's Gruffnut? Ruffnut: [gasps] Gruffnut's not here? [sarcastically] Oh, what a shock! Oh wait, no, no it's not. 'Cause that's his thing. He just blows into town and before anyone can get too close, he slithers off like the snake that he is! Tuffnut: No, way! We boar-bonded last night. I-I'm sure he just overslept. I'm gonna go find Gruffnut and when I do, you're gonna owe him a big apology. Gruffnut: C'mon, girl. Take the yummy fishy! Gruffnut: Ow! Ew... Tuffnut: There you are! Gruffnut: Tuffnut! You're supposed to be doing your morning show right now. Tuffnut: Ha! We both are! C'mon, let's go. I can't wait to see the look on Ruff's face when she sees that you- Gruffnut: Yeah, see, I'm not-I'm not-I'm not feeling great this morning. Maybe tomorrow? We can do tomorrow. Tuffnut: Wait...What are those fish for...? Please tell me you're not trying to bribe Stormfly so you could ride her. Gruffnut: Ha! Haha, of course not! Gruffnut: Look, I just wanted to take a quick spin! I-I kinda got dragon fever after riding Barf and Belch, so I thought- Gruffnut: Oh...never mind. What are we doing here, cousin? You know I'm lying, I know I'm lying. Tuffnut: That's a lot of lying... Gruffnut: I didn't actually win my weight in gold throwing spears. So, I owe a lot of gold to some very dangerous men, Tuffnut. I need one of your dragons to pay them off. Tuffnut: Gruffnut, I looked up to you. You're my role model! You're my hero. Gruffnut: Yeah, all side holes. Usually disappointing. Anyway, gotta go! Tuffnut: Hey! Uh-uh-uh. I don't think so. Gruffnut: Tuff, you couldn't take me when we were kids. What makes you think you can take me now? Tuffnut: You know what, come to think of it, I don't have to. Stormfly's not gonna let any old stranger fly her outta here. None of our dragons would. Gruffnut: You've got me. Dead to rights. Oh. I dunno what came over me. I'm just so ashamed. Tuffnut: Oh...c'mon...It's not that bad. You know what they say, forgiveness is a dish best served freezing cold! Gruffnut: Oh, cousin! You are one of a kind. Well, almost. Look! A rainbow! Tuffnut: What? A rainbow?! Tuffnut: GRUFFNUT! Gruffnut: [in Tuffnut's clothing] Bad news, everyone! Gruffnut, yeah, Gruffnut had some place really awesome he had to. And so now he's gone. For, a while. Ruffnut: I told you so. Gruffnut: Oh, yeah, you did. Tell me what? Ruffnut: That he would do what he always does. Show up. Get you to worship him again. And then disappear. Gruffnut: Well, why wouldn't I-uh...Why wouldn't worship him? Gruffnut is awesome. Ruffnut: No he isn't! He's a phony. Gruffnut: Uh...maybe he is a phony, but he's smart enough to fool people, that's their fault! Hiccup: What? Gruffnut: Uh..I, uh...oh. I mean, that's something Gruffnut would say. Not me, Tuffnut. Now, you've given me a lot to think about. So I...I guess I, Tuffnut, will go. Think about it. Fishlegs: Juuust when you thought Tuffnut couldn't get any weirder. Tuffnut: OK, you can do this, Tuffnut. Just dislocate your shoulder, and you will slip right out of these ropes. One, two, threEEE-AHHH! Tuffnut: OH! That did not work! Because...I needed a running start! OK, here we are. Tuffnut: OHHH-OWWW! That is no good. Gruffnut: Hookfang! Heh, it's me, Tuffnut. Your old buddy. You don't mind if I take you for a little spin, do ya? Gruffnut: Well, guess I'll settle for a Gronckle. Hopefully they'll pay me by the pound! Gruffnut: Gah, get out of here! Stop! Gruffnut: Dummy beak bird. Tuffnut: OK. Tuffnut: No, dislocating my hip doesn't work either. Time for the ankles. Tuffnut: Uh...c'mere little guy! Do you know Smidvarg? He and I are tight buddies from way back. Quick question, how are you with knots? Fishlegs: Excuse me, has someone been feeding Meatlug feltzfard again? You know how it bloats her! Hiccup: Looks like we need someone to take your patrol shift. Any volun- Gruffnut: Uh, we'll do it! We'll do it. Ruffnut: We what? Snotlout: Who are you, and what have you done with the real Tuffnut. Gruffnut: What, what is that supposed to mean? Snotlout: No offense, you just don't volunteer very...well, ever. Gruffnut: Oh, yeah! I mean, you're right. But now that, uh, that Gruffnut jerk is gone I think Ruff and I could use a little us time. Right, sis? I missed ya. Ruffnut: You had me at "that Gruffnut jerk." Hey, what if macey comes along, too? Gruffnut: Uh, no-no thanks. Ruffnut: Huh? Gruffnut: I mean, maybe you should get to carry Macey for a change. Right? Hiccup: Huh, oh, the things I do, over- Tuffnut: Hiccup! Hiccup: You! Tuffnut: Yes. Me! Thanks for the ride, pinky. C'mon, get. Hiccup: What are you doing back here? Tuffnut: Uh, I live here. Hiccup: Oh, no you don't! I don't know what you've conned Tuffnut into, but no way, Gruffnut. Tuffnut: Hiccup, I'm not Gruffnut, I'm Tuffnut! Hiccup: Yeah, sure you are. You do a very good Tuffnut impression. I think I know one of my best friends when I see him. Tuffnut: [gasps] Hiccup! We're best friends?! Really? Even though I almost burned down the whole island that one time, and also, once released the Skrill...crushed you under a bunch of logs and the stones...? Hiccup: Tuffnut! It really is you! Which...means that Ruffnut's out on patrol with Gruffnut pretending to be you! Gruffnut: Whoa, the air's pretty rough, huh? Ruffnut: Mm-hm. Gruffnut: Oh, look! Suddenly, a ship! Ruffnut: I don't recognize it. Should we take a look? Gruffnut: S-sure, whatever you think. Ruffnut: Whatever I think? Gruffnut: Whoa, whoa, oh dear. Ruffnut: OK, that's it! What are you trying to pull, Gruffnut? Gruffnut: Gruffnut? What are you...talking about, sister? Ruffnut: The real Tuffnut never cares what I think. While I'm at it, he wouldn't volunteer us for this mission. And he would never. Ever! Let me carry Macey! Gruffnut: Well, what do you know? I always said you were the smarter twin. Ruffnut: Flattery has no effect on me, mainly because I never hear any. So cut the sheep dip, and tell me who's on that boat down there. Gruffnut: You wouldn't understand. Ruffnut: It's people you owe money to, right? You wanna trade them Barf and Belch to pay off your stupid debt. Gruffnut: OK, whoa. Seriously, you are the smarter twin. Ruffnut: Not gonna happen! Gruffnut: Don't make me do this the hard way, Ruffnut. Ruffnut: I do everything the hard way! Gruffnut: Down, dragon! Ruffnut: No...you...don't! Ruffnut: You are not good enough for the Nut name! Hiccup: There they are! Tuffnut: This is my fault! For not listening to Ruff. I could I be so stupid! I have to make this up to her. It's time for ballista nut! Hiccup: Tuff! No no NO! Tuffnut: Here I come! Tuffnut: No! Gruffnut: Be honest. That was hilarious. Tuffnut: Back in action! Be honest. That was painful. Tuffnut: Oh, yeah. Oh yeah. Tuffnut: Ow, ow! My ankle, my ankle! Gruffnut: Ow, you dislocated my hip! Hurts more than I imagine! Gruffnut: Chinese finger move! Tuffnut: Flight suit! Flight suit! Gruffnut: Give me that! Tuffnut: No no no no no! Tuffnut: Nahhhhh! Ruffnut: Hey! C'mon guys, work with me here! Dragon Hunter 1: Fire! Hiccup: I can't risk hitting Tuffnut. Tuffnut: I used to look up to you. Tuffnut: Ah! No no no no! Gruffnut: Let me give you another chance. Agh! Gruffnut: Ow-ow-ow-ow! Tuffnut: Help! Ruffnut: Tuff! Tuffnut: [to Ruffnut] Macey me! Gruffnut: Ow! Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow! Gruffnut: Oh no. Whoa! Tuffnut: Thanks, sis. Ruffnut: You got it, bro. Gruffnut: Oh, hey guys! The dragon thing, it's, guh...it end up being more compli...ah, how 'bout that gold I owe ya? What do you say we go double or nothing, huh? Oh no. Tuffnut: Goooood morning Dragon's Edge! It's Tuff! Ruffnut: And Ruff! Tuffnut: And Chicken! Ruffnut: In the mornings! With our special guest, Hiccup Haddock! Hiccup: Hi-hi there. Tuffnut: Oooh, Sir Talks-a-lot. OK, enough about you. How great were we yesterday? Hiccup: Uh, you were very great. You saved Barf and Belch from being sold by Gruffnut. And, uh, I was very impressed that despite everything he did, you still rescued him. Ruffnut: Well, he is family. Tuffnut: And he still had my helmet. Ruffnut: That too. Hiccup: Speaking of which, where is Gruffnut? Ruffnut: Oh, we decided he should have a real adventure for a change. Gruffnut: This won't be so bad. At least I have-I have shelter. Gruffnut: IT WAS A GIANT-AHHH!
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