Brigham Young, Vice President of Build-a-bear-workshop.com and the Mormon Church, took over the role of God after Jesus' untimely death in 1837. A noted Zach Galifianakis lookalike, he enjoyed having sex with multiple partners, but when confronted by Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich regarding DP he was quoted as saying, "It depends on what the meaning of the words 'is' is?"
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| - Brigham Young, Vice President of Build-a-bear-workshop.com and the Mormon Church, took over the role of God after Jesus' untimely death in 1837. A noted Zach Galifianakis lookalike, he enjoyed having sex with multiple partners, but when confronted by Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich regarding DP he was quoted as saying, "It depends on what the meaning of the words 'is' is?"
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| - Brigham Young, Vice President of Build-a-bear-workshop.com and the Mormon Church, took over the role of God after Jesus' untimely death in 1837. A noted Zach Galifianakis lookalike, he enjoyed having sex with multiple partners, but when confronted by Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich regarding DP he was quoted as saying, "It depends on what the meaning of the words 'is' is?" Statements like these solidified the general dislike of the Mormon people by everyone else in the world and Brigham Young was forced to locate cheap real estate near present day Tucson, AZ. Almost 12 other men followed him on the first journey bringing along 300 horses, 1000 heads of cattle and 1200 wives. A typical caravan on the Mormon Trail would consist of a covered wagon pulled by six wives, although a distant relative of Mitt Romney was known to give piggyback rides. Typical food on the journey included peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, Lunchables and sometimes corn dogs if the local Indians could be jewed over with sickly horses and toilet paper. Families often traveled together and women were encouraged to remain pregnant throughout the journey in case any other family members were bit by rattlesnakes or perished from cholera. Special undergarments were designed by Calvin Klein to allow optimal genital restriction without the need for gaudy 1840's birth control. Historians today are still impressed by the intricate network of large billboards on the trail every 5 miles portraying happy-go-lucky black-looking-latino asian families wearing Mormon.org t-shirts. Most historians believe the billboards were erected as a "hansel-and-gretel breadcrumb" type precaution in case someone forgot to recharge the GPS before fording the river at Ft. Laramie.
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