About: The gospel according to Jim   Sponge Permalink

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"The actaul Gospel was created by Jim as a last minute piece of English coursework; Most people said that it was impossible to write a new chapter of the bible as he was 2000 years too late to hang with Jesus and his homies. Not to be hampered with this, Jim set out to build himself a time machine, when he failed to create a working time machine in under 30 minutes, he turned to the next best option: hardcore drugs and alcohol. Within the hour he was stoned, tripping and pissed beyond the normal human limits, Jim found that this was a lot easier than building a working time machine and once he'd regained control of his hands he wrote down the masterpiece. Once it had been sent to his teacher, marked, sent back, edited, sent back again, lost, found, lost again, found in the laundry basket,

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  • The gospel according to Jim
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  • "The actaul Gospel was created by Jim as a last minute piece of English coursework; Most people said that it was impossible to write a new chapter of the bible as he was 2000 years too late to hang with Jesus and his homies. Not to be hampered with this, Jim set out to build himself a time machine, when he failed to create a working time machine in under 30 minutes, he turned to the next best option: hardcore drugs and alcohol. Within the hour he was stoned, tripping and pissed beyond the normal human limits, Jim found that this was a lot easier than building a working time machine and once he'd regained control of his hands he wrote down the masterpiece. Once it had been sent to his teacher, marked, sent back, edited, sent back again, lost, found, lost again, found in the laundry basket,
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  • "The actaul Gospel was created by Jim as a last minute piece of English coursework; Most people said that it was impossible to write a new chapter of the bible as he was 2000 years too late to hang with Jesus and his homies. Not to be hampered with this, Jim set out to build himself a time machine, when he failed to create a working time machine in under 30 minutes, he turned to the next best option: hardcore drugs and alcohol. Within the hour he was stoned, tripping and pissed beyond the normal human limits, Jim found that this was a lot easier than building a working time machine and once he'd regained control of his hands he wrote down the masterpiece. Once it had been sent to his teacher, marked, sent back, edited, sent back again, lost, found, lost again, found in the laundry basket, sent back to Jim, vomited on, buried, recycled as firelighters and written again, it was considered finished. Here is an extract" Quote: mrs.mop, very happy english teacher “Jesus was just this guy you know, yeah he could walk on water, but he couldn't swim. After he got the nail holes, he was the first person in history to wear armbands on his feet” ~ The book of Jim on Chapter 3
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