| abstract
| - Six Lasers - Bar Moon - Space That's no moon. It's a Bar Moon. Roughly a quarter the size of Earth's moon, Bar Moon is one of three Nepsan Lunar Satellites. The Moon has no breathable atmosphere, but a massive indoor city covers the entire surface. The city is one bar after another, ranging from safe, nearly family oriented pub and grills to sports bars to raunchy strip bars. There isn't a liquor for any alien species that one can't find on this moon. The one combining factor is that every bar has televisions set up to watch the Olympic games. Advertisements and tourism info booths are set up for those seeking transport to other attractions. Bar Moon is a major transportation hub, second only to Grand Central Station, with shuttles and cruise liners often leaving for most of the attractions. Artificial gravity wells keep the gravity close to Earth's, though after chugging too many back you might not notice. Contents: Shockwave Blueshift Obvious exits: Nepsa Spaceport leads to Six Lasers - Nepsa Spaceport. Space leads to Six Lasers Solar System. Blueshift is sitting at the bar, smoking an unthemely energon cigarette. The end glows and looks as if it about to explode any moment. He is currently on his phone. "Yes, but did the referee get the flowers and chocolates?" he barks into the phone. After his failed attempt at determing Fusillade's plans during the current leadership strife, Shockwave had fully intended to go back to ignoring the Olympics and forfeiting whatever fight he was scheduled to make. He still isn't even sure who signed him up in the first place. Only vaguely aware that he's even supposed to fight Blueshift, Shockwave emerges from one of the private rooms in the bar. Those in the know may be aware that the room has been booked by Cyclonus. Either way, as soon as Shockwave emerges, the bar in his area suddenly goes quiet. Partying and having a good time near Shockwave is impossible. Blitzwing hurriedly ducks into the very same bar that Blueshift happens to be occupying, arms waving about him in an exaggerated fluster. He is covered in rose petals and they litter the bar as he enters. Blitzwing slams his back against the door, preventing anyone else from entering as someone on the outside bangs to be let in. A muffled 'You forgot your chocolates' can be heard from the other side of the door. Blueshift grumbles into his packet of robot peanuts. Ever since the mysterious disappearance of Planet XXX (into what he can only assume to be the Time Wars), robot peanuts have become very expensive. From the corner of his eye he sees Shockwave sneaking down the bar as only a giant purple robot can. "Commander Shockwave!" he says with a smile, holding out one hand. In the other hand, behind his back, he holds a bar chair, which he swings around his shoulder to try and smack into Shockwave's hexagonal face Combat: Blueshift strikes Shockwave with his Chair attack! Combat: That attack has temporarily affected Shockwave's Accuracy. (Blinded) Conversation dies down the as Shockwave moves through the crowd. They part for him like the red sea for Moses. Shockwave ignores his lessers--which is to say, everyone. It isn't until he hears his name shouted that the Military Commander stops and turns. Blueshift. His dossier scross past Shockwave's vision, with the twenty-eight paragraphs on his mental deficiencies taking up most of the room. Shockwave is thus surprised when Blueshift cracks him across the face with a chair. The chair cracks in half, but cracks also form around the hexagon that is Shockwave's head. "Blueshift," he exclaims, "Have gone... no... the Olympics." Yes, he /is/ paired up against him. What a farce this arrangement is! As he can't do anything about it right now, though, Shockwave lashes out with a backwards fist strike, trying to smack Blueshift in his face. "I will give you the opportunity to surrender now, Blueshift, and spare yourself some pain." Combat: Shockwave misses Blueshift with his Backhanded Hammer Strike (Punch) attack! Blueshift leaps back, Shockwave's hand connecting with thin air. "Never!" he exclaims. "Unless that is a direct order, then I will surrender immediately!" He whips out his sword, wheeling it around his head (decapitating a nearby bar patron as he does so) to thrust it directly at Shockwave's chest. Combat: Blueshift sets his defense level to Guarded. Combat: Blueshift strikes Shockwave with his Vorpal Saber attack! Ah, the solution is obvious, then. "Blueshift, this is a di*sshzzhzzttt!*" The sword goes clean through Shockwave's chest plate, leaving a sizable hole in the translucent metal. His completely themely reactor suddenly experiences a power loss, and Shockwave reacts quickly by grabbing at Blueshift's wrist and forcing him away--either with or without the sword itself. Shockwave's optic flashes a warning, but all that comes out is chaotic static. By now, there's panic washing over the bar, and soon punches and bar stools are being thrown at one another. Someone even smacks their buddy over the head with a bottle. The only saving grace is that nobody has been foolish enough to turn this bar brawl into a shooting brawl by bringing guns into the picture. Then Shockwave, not knowing the rules of bar brawl ettiquette, shoots Blueshift. Combat: Shockwave strikes Blueshift with his Laser attack! Blitzwing,unfortunately, is still pressed up against the entrance doors of the bar, hiding from his secret admirer and thus preventing the chaotic crowd from exiting the premises. As the stampede tramples toward him, the triplechanger unsheathes his electron sabre and draws his gyro-rifle simultaneously, shooting and stabbing at genericons that get too close. "GIT OUTTA HERE! I GOTTA MATCH TO REF!" Blueshift staggers back as Shockwave lasers him, sprawling into a family of alien fleas who were just having a quiet Sunday dinner before all this took off. Blueshift is an expert on bar fight equitette. It includes the phrase "win at any cost." "Right then!" Blueshift shouts, leaping into the (crowded) bar and transforming into his spaceship mode. "This is where you get yours, Shockwave sir!" Blueshift whizzes around the confined area, wings smashing up the drinks cabinets as he wheels on Shockwave Blueshift leaps into the air, flipping into the form of a small spacecraft Combat: Blue Spaceship sets his defense level to Fearless. Combat: Blue Spaceship strikes Shockwave with his Wing Slice attack! Blitzwing also brings guns into the picture. Shooting brawl achievement unlocked. Shockwave keeps shooting at Blueshift. The table where the alien fleas were sitting at explodes, and the little baby flea starts to cry. Shockwave keeps shooting, tracking the spaceship as it zooms through the bar. Anyone that somehow evades a giant spaceship's wings tearing through everything probably isn't going to be so lucky dealing with the plasma bolts that are a split-second behind him. Soon fires are springing up all over the place. "*bbzzzssshrhrrrhhh!*" Shockwave statics, telling Blueshift to stop this nonsense. He has better things to do than fire a wide beam gamma ray burst at Blueshift in an attempt to overload his optical sensors and force him to crash into a wall. Combat: Shockwave strikes Blue Spaceship with his But Since He Has To He'll Totally Do That Gamma Ray Thing attack! Combat: That attack has temporarily affected Blue Spaceship's Accuracy. (Blinded) Blueshift crashes into a nearby table where a group of alien orphans were being taken on a lovely outing by some space nuns. "ARGH!" he shouts, transforming upside-down, shaking his fist in anger. "You think I can be so easily defeated by a massive burst of nuclear radiation?" As he speaks, the armour plating on his face sloughs off. Blueshift steps up, blindly swining his sword at the big purple robot The spaceship flips up into the handsome form of Blueshift Combat: Blueshift sets his defense level to Neutral. Combat: Blueshift misses Shockwave with his Vorpal Saber attack! The space Con's arm suddenly stops mid-strike, as if hitting a solid wall. In this case it's Shockwave's hand, which has snagged Blueshift's wrist and kept the tip of the vorpal sword a mere inch away from his face. Using his superior strength, he twists Blueshift's arm and brings his other elbow around to strike him in the gut. If successful, he'll then chuck the blinded Decepticon into a crowd of green skinned alien babes out celebrating the fact that they're now legal. Combat: Shockwave strikes Blueshift with his Grab 'n Toss (Kick) attack! 'C'mon jerkface, let us out!' 'Seriously we are going to die in here!' 'All I wanted was a space scooooone *sob*' 'Man that guy outside is really persistant about giving you those chocolates.' 'Move out of the way already ...uh, jerkface! Sorry I hate using foul language' With an annoyed growl, Blitzwing wades through the cacaphonous throng poised hesitantly around the exit, the civilians ill-equiped at overpowering him to make their way out and into sanctuary. The triplechanger cuts hapless patrons down and adds holes into corpses for good measure. All while wearing a blanket of rose petals. Blueshift is thrown into the newly legal space aliens. Now they are legal... FOR DEATH! He uses one of the alien's faces for balance (don't ask), before getting out his speed gun and aiming it at Shockwave's nuclear reactor. "You can't distract me with your alien friend, Shockwave." He grabs a bag of peanuts off one of the aliens before shooting away Combat: Blueshift strikes Shockwave with his Speed Stealing Gun attack! Combat: That attack has temporarily impaired Shockwave's Agility. (Crippled) Shockwave refrains from asking how Blueshift used one of the alien's faces for balance, and not just because his voice modulator isn't working anymore. Blueshift's shot is bang on, slipping through the hole his vorpal sword made a minute ago. Shockwave clutches his chest with his hand as his movements suddenly slow down. It is as if the animation budget just went into the crapper, forcing Shockwave to just stand there instead of maneuvering. With only the cell containing his arm moving, Shockwave takes aim and fires. Combat: Shockwave strikes Blueshift with his We Can Re-Use This Shot (Laser) attack! Blitzwing staggers out of a pile of patrons who all forgot to pay their bill before they died. Good riddance. Blitzwing remarks as he now is able to actually focus on the match between the Military Commander and... Blueshift (that's as nice as I can put it), "Wow, Blueshift, how did you use that alien's face to keep your balance?" Blueshift's right arm is blown off by Shockwave's laser. The arm itself spins through the air, impaling the barman in his face. "Clever, clever!" Blueshift blurts out, painfully transforming into his horrible spaceship mode, blasting through the ceiling to return a few seconds later via the ladies toilets, thrusters on full as he goes right towards Shockwave. "I see you are being quiet because you are marvelling at what a wonderful soldier I am! Also if you are thinking about any promotions I am sure I am overdue." Blueshift leaps into the air, flipping into the form of a small spacecraft Combat: Blue Spaceship sets his defense level to Fearless. Combat: Blue Spaceship strikes Shockwave with his Full-Body Strike attack! Shockwave looks up as Blueshift transforms into spaceship mode and blasts through the ceiling. There's a loud WHOOSH as the air starts rushing out of the bar and into the vacuum of space. Three infants and a dog are sucked (or blown?) out before the emergency forcefields kick into place, restoring the bar's atmosphere. Shockwave had weathered the breach well enough, as he's heavy enough to not get moved. Once Blueshift smashes his way back in, he braces himself. It's clear what Blueshift is planning. Shockwave has seen this tactic plenty of times before, and the moment Blueshift's hits him, Shockwave is smashing away at Blueshift's nosecone as hard as he can. Wham! Wham! Wham! Both the ship and Shockwave fly forward, with Shockwave stuck on Blueshift's cone. The pair crash through a barmaid, a single mother of two, and a large gathering of shriners. Combat: Shockwave strikes Blue Spaceship with his I Will Punch A Spaceship!!!! attack! [Pulled -2] Against all logic Shockwave punches Blueshift right in the nosecone. His ship mode crumples, and he is thrown into the bar, engines screeching as flames sprew from his exhausts all along the length of the bar, sending a shower of glass, alcohol and shanix from the tills everywhere. Blueshift transforms, and, grabbing what is nearest to hand (a central support beam), throws the beam right at Shockwave The spaceship flips up into the handsome form of Blueshift Combat: Blueshift sets his defense level to Neutral. Combat: Blueshift misses Shockwave with his Punch attack! Blitzwing brushes rose petals off of his head and shoulders with a grumble. Blitzwing does not do yaoi. The triplechanger hunkers down and shields himself as the top of the joint gets blasted off, weathering the momentary lapse in artificial gravity and atmosphere well enough. Except for the fact that the lifeless bodies of a barmaid, a single mother of two, and a large gathering of shriners flies at him. "You have got to be FU-" Blitzwing gets buried under the macabre mass. Shockwave is slow to pick himself back up. The ruined remains of a table of four are scattered around him. A diagnostic system scrolls past his vision, but from the way his arm cannon is bent out of shape it's clear that he didn't come out of that exchange unharmed. Before he can plan his next move against Blueshift, Shockwave sees a huge support beam flying towards him. Shockwave ducks while raising his hand, snagging it out of thin air. It is an amazing catch, as the strength required to pull it off is phenomenal. Twisting it around, he sends it hurling straight back at the space Con. Combat: Shockwave strikes Blueshift with his Imitation Is Flattery (Kick) attack! Blueshift's torso is shattered as the beam goes right through his chest, continuing through him to explode on contact on a table of important alien diplomats who were about to solve all Space Famine. "Nnn" he gruns, stopping onto to set the top of the bar on fire, as he takes out his sword and lunges to try and slice off Shockwave's face (or what there is of a face) Combat: Blueshift misses Shockwave with his Vorpal Saber attack! Shockwave's face is still dented from the bar chair, but other than that it's still in great shape. His laser lights and sound are working just fine. So are his reactions, it seems, as Blueshift lunges at him with that sword again. He would caution Blueshift against trying to engage him in melee, but Shockwave can't talk right now. Also he doesn't want to give his opponent pointers until /after/ the match. Showing remarkable agility, Shockwave jumps back from the sword slice, landing next to a table where a little girl is writing fan mail to Air Raid. Kicking the girl aside, Shockwave grabs the metal table and hurls it at Blueshift like a giant Frisbee. Combat: Shockwave strikes Blueshift with his Exerpt: Dear Air Raid. I think You are the best. I really like how brave and strong you are and how you always be heroic. yOu and the Airalbots are the gratest. Will yOu come to my 12th birthday party? attack! [Pulled -3] Combat: Blueshift falls to the ground, unconscious. Blueshift is literally sheared in half by the table, falling into two seperate halves. Like something from a computer game, each half of Blueshift flashes red and white quickly, before exploding, taking out the party of small children that was taking place, and half the bouncy castle Blitzwing eventually tunnels out from underneath corpse mountain, just enough that his head pokes out from the grotesque arrangement. Figuring he's probably the most safe from catching stray weapon fire by remaining buried under things that Shockwave and/or Blueshift have already trashed, Blitzwing peers out at the combatants as they continue to go at it from within his morbid refuge. Thankfully, the foundation of the establishment remains solid and Shockwave does them all a favor by ending the match before the lot of them manage to implode the place. Blitzwing winces away as the severed halves of Blueshift exploding, raining children onto everyone left standing. Blitzwing wipes baby blood from his visor. "Uh... looks like you won, boss." A mysterious wind blows away the dust that remains of Blueshift, revealing a BLUE MAGIC RING. A gloved hand reaches into frame to pick the ring up with a "NYA HA HA HA!" "-shrk*rectly order you to cease this battle," Shockwave says. He stands up straight, looking across the now ruined bar at Blueshift. He looks slightly to the rest, now looking at the /rest/ of Blueshift. So much for that direct order, Shockwave thinks. "Obviously," he replies to Blitzwing. "Inform the Olympic Committee that I will not be participating in any further events that they organize." They ain't gonna listen. Shockwave is too big of a draw. After some consideration, he adds, "Have Harrow see to Blueshift's wounds. Aerospace still has need of him." Blitzwing's face is then covered as a slightly torched letter lands on it. He begins to read aloud, as it seems appropriate with his vision obscurbed by 11-year-old scrawling. "'I hope you beat up that big bully Blitzwing real good one of these days. You can do it! I believe in youuuuu!!!!' HEY WHO WROTE THIS!?" Blitzwing reaches out with his tongue and draws the letter into his mouth and furiously chews it into a pulp. Blitzwing spits the glob of paper back out as Shockwave addresses him. He tries to salute with his tongue but it just ends up looking weird. "Got it, boss." Harrow has arrived. Blueshift is literally just a thin powder of dust on the remains of the bar floor Harrow makes her way in to the establishment with her toolkit. And a vacuum. She eyes the dust, vents a long sigh and starts to vacuum it up. Combat: Harrow prepares Blueshift for surgery, his COMBAT flag has been waived. Combat: Harrow expertly repairs Blueshift's injuries. Combat: Harrow is able to repair some of Blueshift's internal systems damage. Blitzwing whistles a cat call at Harrow from under a pile of bodies. Beside the pile of dust that is Blueshift, a small alien girl is playing marbles. One of the tiny marbles she is using is in fact, Blueshift' brain Harrow hurls her toolkit at the bodies, and turns to try and snatch the marble away. "This is Bar Moon! Go to your parents and tell them they are horrible!" With his job here done, Shockwave seems content to depart the ruins of the bar under his own power. He'll find Buzzkill and have her repair him back to tip top shape before returning to his new duties. He passes by Harrow on the way out, but doesn't acknowledge her. Blitzwing catches the tool kit with his face. "BUT MY PARENTS ARE DEAAAAAAAAD-sorry, I love Batman holo-comics. I couldn't resist." The little girl runs away from Harrow, crying her eyes out. The Marble that is Blueshift's brain slowly rolls towarsd the powdery remains of his body, making a 'beep beep beep' noise Harrow could totally just stomp it and say it was some bar patron. She stares at it for a long moment. And reaches down to pick it up, because she is only an evil decepticon and not a monster. Blitzwing gets a glare as she stalks out. Harrow goes home. Harrow has left.
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