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| - (Chef Hatchet is making the introduction) "In the previous season of the Total Drama series, Total Drama Action: Fourteen good-for-nothin' teenagers came to the old abandoned Film Lot in Toronto, Ontario, to compete for thirteen long, miserable weeks in various death-defying, humiliating, and disgusting challenges. What drove these maggots on, through thick and thin, motivating them every step of the way? The grand prize of one million dollars, that's what! "They were eliminated one by one, until only two remained: Former Goth Boy, and High IQ Girl. These two battled it out hard in the finale, dodging alien ships, racing through burning buildings, and even singing and dancing. But in the end, Goth Boy won three out of the five challenges that day, and walked away with the million moolahs! "As you all know, there was a little, ah…mishap at the end of the previous season shortly after the finale, and our original host was fired, along with our beloved producer, Mr. Clark. So, I've been summoned to take the place of BOTH these men! That's right; I'm now Chef Hatchet: chef, host, AND co-producer of this show! … YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? (Pauses). Good. I thought not. "Now, due to said mishap, our show was temporarily shut down for a serious investigation by the Mounties. So, we had to wait patiently for the last two years, while our show was cleared by the law. Once they finally gave it back to us, we randomly selected a handful of the cast to return for this here third season. That's right…randomly. No biase, no favoritism. Nope. None at all… "Now, fourteen of the original twenty-one contestants will be comin' back for another round of torture! As you all know, it's time for the most heart-stopping, most dramatic, most not-boring season of them all: Total Drama World Tour! These unlucky contestants will be traveling all around this green earth, battling it out in challenges all over, from familiar lands such as Canada and the US of A, or in locations all the way on the other side of the planet! Having to sing and dance in every episode, this season is probably gonna be just as much of a kicker as the last one! "In addition to all this, we'll be doubling two key factors of the show: The first is the new grand prize! Instead of just another ONE million dollars, these punks will be at each others' throats for TWO million dollars! That's right; double the money, double the funny! But the contestants don't know that…yet. The other thing is that we will be bringing in some brand new suckers, ready for torture beyond their wildest dreams! But not like last season, either! We're not just bringing in two new contestants, but FOUR! Yes, you heard me right! FOUR newcomers will join our originals, and together, that makes eighteen young souls who are ready to take on the world…literally! "As I wait at this airport for these ungrateful little teenagers to get their scrawny little behinds over here, you might wanna get ready yourself! So keep that clicker by you at all times, get comfortable, and go to the bathroom if you have to, because you are NOT gonna be moving at all during this episode…RIGHT? GOOD! So sit back, shut up, and get ready for the brand new season of…Total…Drama…World Tour…season two!" ... Chef Hatchet, standing out on the massive runway of the airport, casually tapped his foot as he awaited the arrival of the contestants. He held two of the shiny, silver briefcases; one in each hand. He returned to the camera to keep the camera man interested. "So, before the maggots get here, I just thought I'd inform of how exactly we managed to get them. As you can imagine, we weren't able to hold onto them for two whole years, so we had no choice but to let them return to their average, insignificant lives. But, when the time came to do the show, we had to skip the qualification test and go with Plan B: Fib. So, we sent notices out to fourteen of our - er, I mean, your - favorite contestants, telling them that they were invited to come to a three-day Total Drama Convention, where there would be die-hard fans, paparazzi, Q and A's, and even a chance to meet the original twenty-two punks from the very first season! We knew that they wouldn't be able to resist that. So, for future notice, that's why they'll all seem a bit confused once they get here." Then, as if on cue, the dirty old blue and white bus pulled up with a screech of its tires and a pop of its engine. The greasy, dented doors swung open with a creak, and the first returning contestant stepped out. Almost instantly, it took off once again, leaving the lone contestant standing before Chef. Matthew, with a large, bulky backpack on, glanced up at the bright, shining sun. Right off the bat, Chef noted the multiple differences with the kid who had won the first season. First of all, the original pair of sunglasses that he never took off before, a cheaper, plastic pair with large, thick black lenses, had been replaced with a pair of shiny, more professional-looking aviator sunglasses with gold rims. The bright sun reflected off the lenses of his new shades, giving a gleam to his eyes. He wore a fairly average outfit; a light-blue Quiksilver shirt, with khaki shorts and white sneakers that looked like they were ready to fall apart. He was also noticeably taller, and his brown hair was much longer, having fallen past his ear lobes. In addition, the warm, friendly smile that was so characteristic of him was absent, only replaced with a stern, firm look. Before he spoke, he inhaled deeply, then exhaled softly. "Ah, back on international television. For a while, I had forgotten what fame was like." "Yes, quite…Hee, hee." Hatchet chuckled. "So…where's all the photographers? The autograph hounds? Hasn't it started yet?" "Oh, it'll start real soon…" By that point, the bus had returned to the same spot, and its two new passengers stepped off, holding hands. Rachael and Mark both had their own duffle bags, and were smiling. "Hey, Chef!" Mark called cheerfully. "Haven't seen you in ages, man! How's it goin'?" He raised his fist for a fist bump. Chef, always there to kill a good mood, simply glared at him. Mark hardly fazed by the response, dropped his offered first and instead turned to Matthew, "Hey, Matthew! Haven't seen you in ages, man! How's it goin'?" "Fine." They both bumped knuckles. Matthew then hugged Rachael. "Hey, Matthew." She greeted. "Hey. Wow, you look nice." Matthew replied, noting the blue dress she was wearing. "Yes, I wanted to look my best during the close-ups." "Speaking of which, where are the cameras?" Mark asked. "Besides that one?" Matthew pointed right at the camera that was currently filming them. "Oh, they'll be here soon, alright. Take my word for it." "Awesome! I hope it starts soon! I can't wait to party!" The bus came back once again, and John was the next to come off, wearing a regular outfit: white, long-sleeved, ironed, button-up shirt with a black tie and blue jeans. His slick black hair was combed neatly, and he had that plain look in his blue eyes. "Man, never thought that being involved with this show would pay off one day. Hey, guys." "Hey, John." Mark replied. "Never thought I'd see the day you wear average clothing instead of your usual, 'Man in black' get-up." "Like I said, I've been freed. Ever since last season, I've turned a new leaf. I'm sure that the magazines will eat it all up." He then turned to Matthew. "Matthew." "John; my fellow season-winner." Matthew added with the slightest of smirks. "True that. I don't know about you, but I've chosen to take good care of my fortune. Most of that money is already safely stored away; I wasn't ready to waste a million big ones, like most guys my age would, eh?" "You got that right." Another voice said from behind. They turned to see Mary step off the bus before it sped off again. "Hey there, hon. Looking handsome." "Right back at ya, beautiful." John and Mary embraced and shared a kiss. "Never thought you were the kind to wear a dress?" John gestured to her rose-red dress. "Well, I do like to look my finest in front of the media. Who wouldn't, really?" "To me, you look your finest every day." John chuckled. They leaned in for another kiss, but were suddenly and abruptly interrupted by a piercing cry ringing out from the bus. "AUGH! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!" The five teens wheeled around quickly in surprise, only for their reactions to immediately turn to annoyance and slight loathing, at the sight of the familiar prom queen leaping from the bus, a small rat scurrying after her. "WHAT IS THAT RODENT DOING ON THE BUS? I HATE RATS!" Lauren roared. "Ah, it's just ma pet rat, Stewey! He won't hurt ya!" The bus driver called. "YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE THIS REPULSIVE THING ON THAT BUS!" She then gave Stewey a massive kick, sending the rat flying right back into the bus. Lauren, with several purses on her arm, turned to face the others. "Ugh. Stupid, no-good b…beast." She brushed off her ankle. This brought the other teens' and Chef's attention to the ridiculous-looking shiny black high-heels she was wearing. Of course, those were only the tip of the iceberg; she was wearing the most gaudy and expensive dress imaginable. It was a long, flowing dress with several different colors, such as white, yellow, green, and red lining the dress in horizontal lines. It was studded with diamonds all around the shoulders and neck area, with only a single strap going around the back of her neck. Her bright blonde hair was in a long ponytail, and she had a silver tiara on her head. The makeup was noticeably smoother and better-applied than usual, and there was glitter all around her eyes. Her eyelashes were long and perfectly straight, Her fingernails and toenails had bright red nail polish on them. Despite all odds, her earrings were even longer and more exotic than before. If the others didn't know any better, they would've thought that the dangling, diamond earrings with studs of emeralds had once belonged to the queen of England herself. "I can't wait for this thing to start; I haven't been in front of cameras since my swimsuit photo shoot for Star Stalker Magazine two weeks ago!" Several pairs of eyes rolled. Lauren turned and grabbed several massive, leopard-print roller suitcases, each one wobbling on its own wheels. "So?" She asked, placing a hand on her hip. "So…?" Matthew replied. "Where's all the paparazzi? I want to see my die-hard fans! All of the little people!" "They'll be here soon!" Chef told her, the obvious annoyance in his voice. "SOON? How soon? I want them here NOW!" "Just shut up!" Chef roared. "And if you don't, you'll regret it, you little priss!" Lauren stamped her foot, wobbling slightly as a result due to her high heels. But she ultimately kept quiet. Then the bus returned yet again, by now sounding its worst. When the doors opened, a friendly voice called out, "Hey guyyyYYYAAAHHH!" The greeting was interrupted when the ever-clumsy Jessica, barely taking one step, stumbled on the bottom step and fell face-first into the ground. Naturally, her good-natured companions walked over to help her up, but she simply shrugged it off and casually brushed some of the dirt off her blouse. "Whoa, that was a misstep. I guess that redefines the term "faceplant." Hey, guys! How's it going?" "Uh…fine." Rachael replied. "Yourself?" "Oh, fine, thank you. I'm still alive." "Miraculously." John mumbled. Beside him, Mary giggled. "So when do the originals get here? Will they be here before the media? 'Cause I'm looking forward to meeting Lindsay and LeShawna. They always seemed like the coolest." Chef chuckled at the memory of those two girls, particularly LeShawna. "Yeah…those two were handfuls, let me tell ya." Had it not been for the creaking of the bus's doors and the zoom of the engine approaching and then receding, the others would have never been aware of the next contestant's arrival. As always, Samantha was glued to her cell phone, fingers flying across the keypad as she rapidly texted her friends (or, at least they thought were her friends). "Samantha." Mary greeted, only to no response (unsurprisingly). Samantha acted as if she hadn't heard her (which she probably hadn't). But Mary was always one to try to start a conversation, so she was persistent. "So…anything new?" Nothing but the ratter-tatter, click-clack of the keys. John nudged Mary, then winked. "Let me handle this. Hey, Samantha?" No answer… "What kind of phone is that?" "A Verizon Droid, model 2010. Got it at the electronics store a few blocks from my house for only $89.99. Costs only ten bucks a month to text. Had it for four months, and I've named it Skippy." "I see." Mary looked back at her boyfriend, naturally shocked. "How…?" "With these kinds, you just got to know the right subject to talk to them about." Samantha heard this indirect insult, and stopped texting. The sudden, abrupt end of the clacking of the keys made the others aware that she had actually lost concentration on the phone for whatever reason. She looked up at John with a slight scowl, then casually pressed her finger against the phone's screen. What exactly she did was unseen by the others. With several swift movements, she activated one of the special features she had downloaded onto the phone. "I'm sorry, John. Say that again?" She held the phone up noticeably higher, and slightly closer to the former Goth boy. "Uh, I said…" "SHUT UP!" Bellowed an irate mechanical voice from the phone, silencing John, and making everyone flinch. "Whoa! What the…?" "SHUT UP!" The phone yelled again. "What is…?" Mary attempted to ask. "SHUT UP!" "It's called 'The Shut Up App.'" Samantha replied with a smug grin. "A nice little gadget that tells you to shut up whenever you say something to it." "Seriously? That's really…" Matthew was interrupted with the "SHUT UP!" once more. "Where'd you get…?" Jessica started. "SHUT UP!" Samantha slid her finger across the screen once more, turning off the app. "On the Internet. This is one of the most popular apps ever. And I can see why." [*] The others were absolutely speechless. The victor for now, Samantha returned to her rapid texting. Matthew shook his head, still pretty stunned at the fact that something like that even existed. "The strange, unexpected world of technology." He muttered. John nodded his head in agreement. Then the bus pulled up once again, carrying the eighth contestant. The entire bus shook and rattled as the next contestant rambled through it, each footstep pounding on the metal floor. As he stepped onto the final step, the bus actually leaned over to that side. The moment he stepped off, the bus flung right back into its regular, non-slanted position, but with such great force that the bus driver's head smashed against a window, cracking it. The bus driver's yelp of pain right after was drowned out by the large, jolly contestant's bellowing greeting. "HEY, GUYS! How's it going?" James asked loudly. There was a responding chorus of "Hello" or "Hey" from the other contestants. "Oh, it's so cool to see you all again!" He then swiped up Matthew and John in bear hugs. "What's up, John my man? Hey, you're not wearing black anymore! Have you dropped the whole 'doom-and-gloom' charade?" "Uh…yeah…" John winced as James tightened his grip slightly, then turned to the other unfortunate victim. "Hey, Matt! You've gotten taller! And after, what, six days?" "James, it's been two years." "Really? Wow, it's like they say; 'Time flies'!" Matthew's eyes rolled, along with a heavy sigh, which went unseen and unheard by James and John, along with his following mutter. "But not fast enough." The three boys then heard a loud sneeze, followed by a heavy inhalation of breath, then a clearing of a throat. They all turned to see the tenth contestant to step off the bus: Isaiah. The geek hadn't changed much. He still had the curly hair, although it was now much longer and more abundant. In fact, it was almost like an afro of curly, light-brown hair. His glasses, the perfectly round, Harry Potter-like glasses were still the same. And, as always, his face had absolutely no expression as he looked around at the other eight contestants. "Hey, guys." He finally wheezed. "Hey, Isaiah. How've you been?" "Fine, thank you very much. I'm pleased to announce that the level of bullying against me at school has dropped significantly since I left the show." "Really?" Mary asked. "Yeah. Guess they all got more respect for me, or something. I'm kind of like a celebrity now or something. People have been asking me about my time on the show and things like that. I guess I was just born to be famous." A scoff sounded, but the geek didn't hear it. "I'm glad to attend this convention, and I can't wait for it to start. I've already practiced a nice little speech for the cameras. You wanna hear a sample of it?" Before anyone could respond, the bus arrived with contestant number eleven. Almost immediately after the next contestant revealed herself, there was already a negative vibe in the air. Several contestants glared at the familiar FemiNazi, who only stuck her nose up at them. Madison stepped off the bus in her glorified, pompous demeanor. She glared at several of the guys, as well as Mary and Rachael, but exchanged a brief nod with Lauren. Her arms crossed tightly over her chest, she strutted over to the group with noticeable reluctance. She paused in front of the camera, giving it a few sexy poses, before she returned her attention to the approaching bus. The twelfth returning contestant had a fairly more pleasant entrance, but one just as dull. The ever-silent Nicole slowly stepped off the bus. She had had little interaction with most of the others over the course of the first two seasons, and suddenly being thrown back into the show with them was definitely very awkward. "Uh…hi, guys." One plain 'Hello' from Rachael, and a more friendly, 'Hey' from Jessica was all she got. The cheerleader swallowed nervously, then slowly walked over to the group, standing next to Mark and Rachael. She looked down at the ground and casually flicked her foot, kicking a small pebble away. After a brief, awkward pause, the bus pulled up for the twelfth time, carrying the thirteenth contestant. The next contestant stepped out. Almost instantly, the redhead was recognized…even if she didn't recognize the others. "Hey, thanks again, Mr…" "Call me Eddie." The bus driver said to Suzie. "Uh, OK. Thanks, Mr. Eddie." She stepped off the bus as it sped off, and looked around. "Oh, hello everyone!" She said in a friendly tone. After a slight chorus of responses, she looked around. "Total Drama Convention? This looks like an airport to me." "We already know this." Madison stated with a scoff. "But she's got a point; why would all this be happening here?" Isaiah asked Chef; the first time the host had been addressed in a while. "Oh…you'll see." "Oh, hello Chester!" Suzie called to Chef. "It's 'Chef,' girl. Get it right!" "Oops, sorry!" She turned to the other contestants. "Hi, guys! Mason! You…were voted off first in season one, right? When Matthew figured out that she was talking to him, he sighed and shook his head. "It's 'Matthew.' And I won the first season." "Really? Oh, cool! How much did you get?" "A hundred grand, remember?" "Well, a hundred is grand, but it seems kind of…low, doesn't it?" "Oh, boy." Fortunately, Matthew was spared further interrogation with the arrival of the fourteenth, and final, contestant. The doors of the bus creaked open, and Matthew was pleased to see none other than his girlfriend, Violet. She was wearing a purple dress with no shoulder straps, black lining along the side, a ribbon on the back where she had tied it tighter, and fluffier, frillier fabric around the chest. On her feet were black high-heels. Her hair was, as usual, long and straight, with only the single black headband in it. While her appearance made her look very fancy and extravagant, her warm smile and friendly expression gave her a more humbling appearance. She strode over to the group, exchanging greetings and hi-fives with the other contestants. When she reached her boyfriend, she looked down at him and greeted him. "Hey, babe." He slowly looked up at her, his aviators gleaming slightly in her face. He cracked a smile. "Good to see you again. Looking as beautiful as ever." She smiled, and the two quickly shared a hug. He slowly fell into the embrace, his eyelids closing slowly and calmly. After having been away from each other for so long, it felt good to be back in her warm, loving embrace again. Especially after… Just then, the loud tweet of a whistle sounded, ruining the good moment (and not to mention, several of the teen's ears). The source of the sound was none other than Chef, holding the clean, stainless steel whistle between his lips. Once he was done, he let it fall out of his mouth, dangling on the string around his neck. "Alright, worms! Listen up!" "Whoa, Chef, dude." Mark calmly and cooly replied. "What's all this 'Listen up!' crap? We're at a TDC, not some kind of military class." The ex-marine was in the party guy's face in an instant. "I said to listen up! That also means to shut up! I'm giving the orders around here!" Mark was quick to oblige. "Now that you're all here, I might as well tell y'all the truth…" "Whoa, wait a second." Mary interrupted. "What do you mean by all of us? We're still missing…seven people." "That's because not all of you are supposed to be here! Just the fourteen of you!" "But…isn't this convention supposed to feature all of us?" "That's what I'm trying to explain to you! Let me take this one step at a time, darn it! Now, here's the deal: First off, you all know perfectly well about…the incident, at the end of season two." "Duh. How could we forget?" John admitted, with a shiver. "Those guys were over six feet!" Rachael added. "Yeah, yeah. Anyway; after that, we had to cancel the show due to the investigation that the police had to go through with." "Yeah, so?" "I SAID LET ME FINISH! Now, when I say cancelled, I mean as in temporarily. He paused and let the obvious implication sink in. "What are you saying…?" Nicole started. "What I'm saying, is that now, after two long years, the investigation is finally over, and the show has gotten back on its feet. We needed a new host and co-producer, but I was quick to oblige. So the show is fresh and ready to go again!" "Don't tell me…" Isaiah stammered. "Oh, I'll tell you; there ain't no 'Total Drama Convention'! I made that all up!" "WHAT?" Exclaimed all fourteen teenagers, even though they all already knew what was coming. "That's right; we knew y'all couldn't resist another chance at fame, so we came up with that idea just to get you back here!" "Oh, crap…" John muttered as the obvious implication set in. "You don't mean…" Isaiah started. "I knew it." Matthew muttered under his breath. "That's right! You suckers have just been suckered into season three!" Chef was besieged by all of the roars, yells, complaints, and whines of the contestants. "But I have to go star in a new teen movie in three weeks!" Lauren exclaimed. "I was planning to go to Europe this summer!" Mary protested. "I don't want to do this, eh! I've already won a season!" "QUIET DOWN, ALL OF YA!" Once they did so, he resumed. "Now, as you can tell by the airport, we are, in fact, returning to the Total Drama World Tour format! And you fourteen have been selected to be a part of it!" "No way, Jose! I ain't doing this!" "You don't have much of a choice, worm. You all signed a contract when you agreed to the very first season." "Still, that was for the first season!" Isaiah exclaimed. "We never agreed to a third season!" "Actually, you did. See, after the popularity of the show skyrocketed with the original series, we knew that we would definitely be able to do more than just one season. So we had the contracts modified, so that, in return for getting to be on this show in the first place, you willingly agreed to participate in this sub-series of Total Drama for as long as necessary! Here, I'll read this bedtime story to you!" And with that, Chef reached behind him and whipped out a stack of papers no thicker than the average phonebook, the sheets held in place by three staples in one side. He opened it and started flipping pages. As he did, murmurs of disgust rippled through the teens. "This is outrageous!" "You can't do this to us!" "I'm calling my parents!" Then, Chef finally reached the page he was looking for. "Says right here, on the final page, number 298, paragraph 5. Ahem. By signing this legal document, you hereby agree to partake in the show Total Drama for as long as the show's producers may request. You agree that, every season of the series you are asked to participate in, you will do so. Even if you quit the competition, you will still be kept at the residence of the contestants whose participation has been terminated, as well as those who failed to qualify for the season, until the next season, or until the series ends." And with that, he put the pages back into place and tossed it behind him. "It was all in plain black and white, and you punks agreed to it with the few strokes of your pen, pencil, feather quill, or whatever you kids use to write with these days!" "Fine! I'll just quit!" John declared. "The contract said that I'm allowed to do that, right? Besides, that 'residence of the contestants whose participation has been terminated' is sure to be better than doing this again!" "Oh, come now; you would just throw away a chance at the grand prize?" "In case you forgot; I already won a million dollars!" "Oh…but the stakes are much higher this time around. See, for this season, we've decided to DOUBLE the amount of money you'll be fightin' for!" A collective gasp arose from the cast. "That's right; one million dollars? Out the window. It's TWO million dollars now! Anyone else care to turn that down?" This time, even John was silent. There was a thump, and several people turned to see that Mark had fainted. "Besides, you punks should be more grateful; again, it's just the fourteen of you! The other seven hardly even know about this yet!" "But why'd you guys turn them down?" Rachael asked. "They weren't interesting enough! We'd seen enough of the two tough kids, and the nerd and the bookworm. Jock boy was a good villain while he lasted, but he was upstaged by sexist over here!" At Chef's gesture towards Madison, she responded with a rather…unfriendly gesture. "The same with Little Miss Gymnast. And, of course, that one kid who I can't think of a good, cruel nickname for…" "Jeremy?" Violet asked. "Yeah, that kid!" "What was wrong with him?" "Anyway, so it's the fourteen of you. However…we are going to be continuing the ever-classic tradition that was started with the original World Tour. We're going to be adding to the drama, by bringing in some newbies!" The reactions afterward were considerably mixed. Several, such as Madison and John, were not quite happy with the idea, while most of the others simply seemed unsure or worried. However, all of their mumbles and whispered comments to each other were interrupted when the bus arrived one last time. The doors slowly opened. Chef turned slightly so that he was facing both the camera and the contestants. "As you all at home just heard, we are, in fact, adding four more new faces to this game! And here they are! New kid number 1: He's a 14-year old with a love for the arts! Theatrics, painting, you name it! The kid's probably a descendant of Shakespeare! It's Louis!" The sound of the newcomer's fancy boots on the concrete, a light tapping sound, was only the tip of the iceberg for his unusual, and shocking, appearance. Louis was quite a handsome kid, well-built, and with a firm, strong posture that reflected a sense of confidence. He had a perfect tan, with a hint of olive, and his piercing green eyes were the brightest, most unique eyes any of the contestants had seen since John's eyes were first revealed. His hair, of course, was the eye-catcher. It was perfectly straight, and a fine copper color, while his bangs, gelled into a pinwheel, had golden blond in the tips of the pinwheel. He had a warm, friendly smile, and his overall appearance easily depicted him as a unique, sophisticated individual. He stopped for a moment, paused, and looked around at the other contestants for a while before he finally spoke. "Hey, everyone. How's it going? I'm Louis." There was an initial chorus of responses, as many of the contestants got a good vibe from this different newcomer. Most of them were surprised; newcomers were general so hyper and ecstatic to be on the show that they were stuttering and unable to express their joy enough. But Louis seemed so unusually calm, so collected, so cool. But, inwardly, Louis was very much like that. Ironic, too; he had prepared a whole, grand introduction speech for this moment, but now he couldn't get a single syllable out. All he could say were basic introductions. He still maintained his complexity, and showed no signs whatsoever of being nervous. He took a few steps forward and stood with the rest of the group. He failed to notice several of the girls, such as Nicole and Jessica, staring at him with hints of dreaminess in their eyes. A few seconds passed by with everyone staring at him. Finally, Lauren asked, "What's with you?" "Hmm?" He replied calmly, looking over at her. "You're just so…quiet! No great introduction speech or something to glorify yourself?" "No speeches for me, just quotes." He replied softly. "Being a lover of the arts and great minds of our time, I absolutely love to quote some of my idols, or even people that I've never heard of." "…What?" "How about this: Speeches are like steer horns – a point here, a point there, and a lot of bull in between." As he said the quote, his voice, a regularly calm and soothing tone, changed drastically into an omniscient, strong voice that wasn't necessarily loud, but certainly reflected a sense of authority and power. While Lauren gasped in disgust, a majority of the teens, even Chef, couldn't help but snicker at the clever line. "Evelyn Anderson, a German journalist, said that." Louis finished. "Anderson, huh?" Mary replied. Then she added, "After such an introduction, I can hardly wait to hear what I'm going to say." "Ah!" Louis replied. "Another Anderson quote! Nice one, Mary." He gave her a smile of approval. "Why, thank you." "Alright, enough quoting famous people, kids! Time for the next newbie! Everyone, please welcome Ethan!" The next newcomer stepped off the bus. He seemed to be almost the exact opposite of Louis in so many ways. For one, something about his presence seemed to ward off the good vibe Louis gave everyone; his stare was cold and dull as he glanced at his fellow competitors. They didn't know what to think of this one; his expression was totally blank. Similar to Louis's eyes, his were a bright color, only blue instead of green. His hair was also a stand-out feature with its bright, blood-red hair. Unlike the previous newbie's perfect tan, Ethan had a paler shade of skin, almost to the point where it seemed unhealthy. He was fairly lean, but slightly lanky. A few uneasy second passed. Then his hard face slowly transformed so that he seemed more welcoming. A slight smile slowly spread across his face. It was apparently supposed to be a friendly, greeting smile, but it still had hints of something else in it. "Hello, everyone. It's nice to be here. Believe me, I'm excited to be on this show with you all." Still a little unsure, several contestants responded awkwardly with general greetings such as "Hey." He took a step off the bus, paused, then looked around again. His eyes seemed to widen. "What? Jennifer and Daniel aren't here?" "Nope." Chef replied. "They were both good villains while they lasted, but they're outta gas now! Time to make way for some new villains, hopefully." "Ah. Always taking the ratings into consideration, eh?" "You got it." "Good." No more competition. He thought. With that, he joined the group. Out of the corner of his eye, he glanced at Madison, who didn't notice. His face tightened at the sight of her. ...Except for her. "O…K…" Chef stuttered. Even he couldn't help but shiver at the cold presence of this one. He shook it off, then resumed with his job. "Anyway, here's the third newcomer! At 15 years old, this next contender for the win is an animal lover, who probably loves animals more than human beings, and even more than herself! It's Anna!" The next person to step off the bus was a lanky girl with skin equaling the pale complexity of Ethan's skin. She had dark brown eyes. Once again, a stand-out feature was her hair, which was red, with streaks of orange (A/N: What's up with all the newbies having strange hair? XD). However, the truly unique feature was her outfit: a fox-ear headband in her hair, accompanied by a fox tail behind her. This drew the attention of many of the teens, raising many eyebrows. She had a gangly, goofy, awkward appearance, and several couldn't help but snicker lightly. "Hey, guys! OMG! I'm on Total Drama! The world can see me right now!" She immediately ran up to the camera. "Hey, everybody back home! Wish you could be here right now, with me, on the show! And Peppy, Stewey, Denise, Amy, Richie, Brita, Buster, Blackie, Goldie, and Charlie, I miss you guys!" " 'Peppy'?" Matthew asked. " 'Buster'?" John asked. "Are those…real names?" Nicole asked, puzzled. "Yes, silly!" Anna turned back to the group. "They're my pets' names!" A general, "Oh," rippled through the cast. "Dogs?" "Yes, two…and a parakeet, two cats, three iguanas, one guinea pig, and a tortoise!" Glances were exchanged, several jaws dropped, and all eyebrows were raised even higher. "Alright!" Chef remarked, interrupting the strange greeting. "We've gotta hurry up, 'cause we're running low on time here! We'll introduce the next contestant, and then we've gotta take off! Anyway, so she's a 14-year-old whose mother is from Ireland, but she herself is…" Chef paused, then seemed spit out the next word. "…American." A noticeable look of disgust was on his face as he said the word. "Meet Eryn!" They all looked back at the bus, and waited for the girl to emerge. But the doorway remained empty. After a few long seconds, Chef grew visibly annoyed, and repeated, "Meet Eryn!" Still nothing. "Grr…I SAID, MEET ER-!" Suddenly, a blood-curling scream shot out from the bus, causing everyone, especially Chef, to jump. A moment later, the bus driver, Eddie, a large, burly man with a four o' clock shadow (a somewhat stereotypical depiction of most bus drivers) tumbled out the door, beaten-up and twitching. A moment later, a blur shot out above him, flying through the air. When it first hit the ground, the cast could clearly see the phenomenon that was Eryn. She had blonde hair and brown eyes. She was stunningly beautiful, but had that wild and crazy look in her eyes. She landed on the ground hands-first, performing a perfect handspring, then rolled over and jumped right up to her feet. She looked down at the pathetic, slumped form of Eddie. "Hey, come on! I didn't hit that hard! I told you that I could be a little unpredictable at times!" "Un…unpredictable! You crazy hose-beast, you knocked out my gold tooth!" "At least it's not real gold, right?" "Actually, it WAS!" "Oh..heh, heh. Well, hey! My uncle has an eye made of gold! My second cousin has a boob made out of gold! So you should be more grateful!" She then turned around and finally noticed the cast. "Oh, hey guys! I'm Eryn! It's so awesome to finally meet all of you!" She took a step forward, and everyone almost instantly cowered in fear, clinging to each other for dear life as the psycho started to approach. "Whoa, whoa guys! What's with the group hug? Is there a chill in the air right now? I guess it's that time of year again!" "Uh…Eryn, is it?" Ethan asked. "Yep! That's me! You can also call me 'E,' 'Error,' or 'Psycho Hose-Beast Who Will Knock Out Your Gold Teeth If You're A Bad Bus Driver,' though!" "Um…right. Anyway, you said it's that time of year again? But it's May." "May, as in 'May…be we're having global freezing this year'!" Blank stares. "You know, we had that whole global warming scare last year, maybe it'll be global freezing this year!" There was a pause, in which both sides of the rather illogical and one-sided argument were silent. "Hey, anyone wanna see me be able to lick my own elbow?" She then immediately grabbed her own right arm and started to drag it closer to her face, her tongue sticking out and stretching unusually long towards her elbow. As the others watched in absolute astonishment, Chef could only roll his eyes. "I knew we made a mistake bringing an American onto the show." "Hey! I can't really reach my own arm right now, so do you think that one of you could spare your own arm? Hey, you, Isaiah! Come here!" "AAUUGGH!" A mad chase began to ensue around the runway, with Isaiah scrambling around to get away from the psychotic teenager. Eventually, objects, such as bags of luggage, or the luggage itself, began flying around, and chaos was ensuing. "Uh…OK, we'd better sign off for right now!" Chef declared to the camera. "It won't be too much of an irregularity in the first place…" He had to duck to avoid a can of cologne flying by. "…these introductory episodes are generally in two parts anyways! So, uh, will Napoleon be able to outrun the crazy chick? How will the newcomers interact with the veterans? And what will the first challenge, and first location be? Find out next time on Total…Drama…World Tour!"
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