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| - Ryan Who's that artist? [points at an old man with a bandaged ear in the corner] Old Mae (Slightly awestruck) I believe that’s Vincent van Gogh! Vincent van Gogh Cutting off my ear wasn’t the most sensible thing I ever did! Did I cut my ear off or did someone else cut it off when I got into an insane fury? I can’t quite remember but I know I spent time in an insane asylum. Vincent van Gogh scratches his head below the hat, he starts in pain as his scratching fingers, his hand or his arm gets too close to the bandaged ear. A spirit leaves the group of Scientology victims carrying a folder with on the front £ & $ signs and in writting, “Expensive Scientology Courses”. Scientologist You really should have done a Scientology Course! That’s guaranteed to cure insanity! Lisa McPherson (Suspiciously) Does Scientology cure insanity in actual fact? Scientology didn’t cure me. Scientologist If you weren’t cured that must be your fault! You can’t have done the courses properly and now you must pay out more money to do more courses. Another good-looking young girl of 20 wearing Norwegian type clothes comes to the front of the group of Scientology victims. Girl Scientology harmed me! Scientology harmed my friends and family! Scientology harmed everybody who knew me! (She wrings ghostly hands.) Several Scientology Victims together Something terrible must have happened! Girl I was Kaja Bordevich Ballo! Lisa McPherson you look attractive, Kaja! How did the Scientologists hurt you? Ghost of Kaja Bordevich Ballo (wistfully) I was attractive and intelligent, I’d left Norway where I lived and was studying French in Nice. Vincent van Gogh Nice was a pleasant town in my time. Kaja Bordevich Ballo Nice is a cool town in our time too, I was doing well there, I had lots of friends, my life was just fine. I should have carried on with my studies, the lecturers were pleased with me, I should have prepared for a good career, found someone who liked me and married him, I should have got myself a happy, successful life! Lisa McPherson What on Earth did the Scientologists do to you? Kaja Bordevich Ballo Scientologists made me kill myself! Several make comments like, “That’s terrible!” “How could the Scientologists?” “You had just so much to live for! Kaja Bordevich Ballo I took the Oxford Capacity Analysis! It looked scientific, I thought it was to do with Oxford University. Victims of Scientology (All together in one voice) The Scientologists tell lies! Their shitty test is nothing to do with Oxford University! Kaja Bordevich Ballo After I’d done the test the Scientologists convinced me I was just worthless so within hours I killed myself! A man among the Scientology Victims who hasn’t Spoken before That simply was not true! Your family valued you, your friends valued you! All were devastated when you died! Kaja Bordevich Ballo I know that now! I wish I hadn’t hurt those who knew me that way! I wish I hadn’t done that dreadful thing! (She wrings her ghostly hands once more.) Footnotes A masked rider turns up on a white horse, if any group wanting to produce this play does not have the resources for horses the rider can be replaced by a man in appropriate outfit walking on and the man will not say, “Woa Sliver”. If resources permit a Native American accompanies the masked rider. Masked Rider We will avenge, Kaja, Lisa and all those harmed by Scientology! (The horsed gets a bit restless) Woa Silver. Lisa McPherson Whose that masked rider? (If there is no horse she asks) Who is that man in a mask? Old Mae He’s The Lone Ranger! Masked Rider We will not forgive, We will not forget! We are anonymous. We are legion. We do not forgive. We do not forget. Expect us! Old Mae the masked rider is a manifestation of Project Chanology. Those wishing to attack Scientology without reprisals may wish to join them, just avoid anything illegal. They stay Anonymous to avoid reprisals, Anonymous show the world the harm Scienology causes, Anonymous have fun. The tape ends as all the spirits get sucked up into the ceiling Old Mae opens her eyes. Steve Something doesn't smell right. Oda Mae I recognize the spirit with Van Gogh. He has that same Evil Presence feeling that I got with Tom Cruise. Ryan These spirits are all bewildered and confused...I’m not even sure they all really know that they're dead. Oda Mae Some of them don't. Sometimes for a short while they know they've died, then they get confused and forget. They think they're still alive, and they're reliving their suffering over and over, and they're taking it out on the house. They kidnapped your little Carol Ann because they see her life force as their salvation. Diane Oh no! Then how can we get her back? Oda Mae I know a professional psychic, Tangina Barons. She's cleaned many houses of these type of ghosts. She'll know what to do. First we'll need to take these tapes back to the lab. I'll leave Ryan and... Marty I'm not staying. I've had enough of this place! That chicken leg nearly burned my tongue off. Oda Mae Very well, Marty will stay behind at the lab while Ryan and I return with help.
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