| abstract
| - Narrator: It’s lunchtime down at City Hall… speaking of which, (bites into something), mmm, mmm, let’s watch what’s going on. Beatrice: Hm, let’s see… uh, a healthy lunch will give me the energy I need to show my co-workers that I should be their leader, their supervisor, and their boss! Narrator: Oh, in case you forgot, Beatrice Bixby is also the notorious villain Lady Redundant Woman, which is why she tends to repeat herself using different words. Food server: Next. Beatrice: Uh, um, excuse me, I think it was my turn. Used Car Salesman: Oh, how incredibly impolite of me. Did I just cut in front of you? I’ll only be a minute, friend. Thanks. (He points at her and clacks his tongue twice.) Beatrice: (to herself) He had better not take too long, because I, Beatrice Bixby, am not afraid to, you know, say something. Used Car Salesman: Thanks! Beatrice: Sure, no problem. (to herself) What an impolite man! Food server: Next! Beatrice: Now, wait just a- a-- Stu Brisket: I have one quick question. Important news business, you know. Beatrice: Oh-- well, okay. I’ll just wait my turn. Again. Stu Brisket: You confirm or deny the rumor that City Hall ham sandwiches are delicious? Food server: Well, we sell oodles of ‘em. Stu Brisket: Great, I’ll take three. I’m starving. Beatrice: That reporter not only cut in line, he- he interrupted me while I was speaking! That makes me mad, angry and also quite furious, too! Stu Brisket: Comin’ through, comin’ through.please. Excuse me! Beatrice: Uh! And he didn’t even say thank you! He’s just lucky that my thirty-minute lunch break is only a half hour long, or I’d do something. Mayor: (reading from cue cards, as usual) Good afternoon! I’m the mayor! And I’m here to order-- (pauses briefly as if confused, then looks up) --lunch! I’d like to officially announce my plans to have-- the usual! Beatrice: Um, excuse me… I believe it was my turn. Mayor: But it’s twelve-thirty, and I order lunch every day at twelve-thirty! Beatrice: (to herself) I think I have had just about enough! Bad manners, rudeness, and impolite behavior! Mayor: Hey, pie! Beatrice: That… is… IT! Mayor: Hey, look at you! You’ve changed! Lady Redundant Woman: Yes! Look, pay heed, and take notice! Because this scary change, this chilling alteration, this terrifying transformation is from people being IMPOLITE to me! Mayor: Hey, you just turned my talking cards into oodles of tiny pieces of litter! Lady Redundant Woman: Yes! And littering is bad manners! And that’s just the beginning of my plan! I plan to be really impolite to every person, every resident, every citizen of this town! A-ha-ha-ha-- (starts coughing) --well, you get the point, evil laughter. Stu Brisket: Just wait until WordGirl hears about this, she’ll stop your plan! Mayor: How will she find out? Exposition Guy: I’ll take this one! Exposition Guy: He-e-elp! Narrator: Meanwhile, at the city park, Becky and Bob are learning to skate. Becky: It’s easy, Bob. Just turn one foot to the side, push forward with it, and you’re off! Becky: it’s okay! You’re really starting to get it now. Becky: Uh-oh. Sounds like trouble. Becky: We better go check it out! Word UP! WordGirl: Are you sure you want to wear those right now? WordGirl: Okay, just be careful. Exposition Guy: He-e-elp! WordGirl: Hey-- stop that right now, you rude replicas! Exposition Guy: WordGirl, Lady Redundant Woman is at City Hall, and her copies are running all over town being very impolite! Exposition Guy: See? She didn’t even say excuse me! WordGirl: Stop being so impolite! All of you! WordGirl: Great job, Huggy! Narrator: Back at City Hall, Lady Redundant Woman’s impolite revenge plan continues. Mayor: Uh, excuse me Miss Lady Redundant Woman, um, are you almost, um, finished with your evil revenge plan, because-- uh, I never ate my lunch and I- I- I’m really hungry. Lady Redundant Woman: Oh, is this YOUR pie? (She picks it up and holds it in front of him.) Mayor: Why, yes it is! Lady Redundant Woman: Well, I’ll have you know, your pie will be eaten-- Lady Redundant Woman: --gobbled up, and devoured by ME! A-ha-ha-ha-ha! Stu Brisket: Yuck! That’s disgusting! Lady Redundant Woman: Exactly! All part of my clever scheme, my brilliant idea, and my smart plan! Mayor: Well, uh, I don’t care how great your plan is. As mayor, I want to be on record as being against it! Stu Brisket: (writing it down) Yes sir! Narrator: As WordGirl and Captain Huggy Face try to get to City Hall, they encounter a city crippled by oodles of Lady Redundant Woman copies. Each as impolite as the next. Narrator: At the bus stop, they show no courtesy to fellow passengers. Narrator: In the grocery store, they ignore the express lane rules. Man: Hey, this is the express line, lady! Ten items or less! Man: A jar of pennies?! That is impolite, baby! Man: --lady. Man: --you. Narrator: Not even the neighborhood streets are safe from the atrocious manners of Lady Redundant Woman’s copies! Mr. Botsford: Hey, you villains! Get off of my property! Duplicate 1: The sidewalk isn’t your property! It belongs to the city! Duplicate 2: Yeah! Mr. Botsford: Darn it! They’ve got me there. Narrator: Will WordGirl defeat Lady Redundant Woman’s copies before the city is destroyed by impoliteness? Narrator: (clearing his throat) WordGirl? WordGirl: You better believe it! Mr. Botsford: WordGirl! Thank goodness you’re here. WordGirl: Dad-- I mean, citizen! What are you doing with that box? Mr. Botsford: Well WordGirl, these rather impolite ladies made such a traffic jam, I had to walk home from the figurine repair shop. WordGirl: Figurine repair shop? Mr. Botsford: Yeah! Like you, my daughter Becky has a pet monkey-- Bob is his name-- anyway, one day he was skating in the house when he fell and chipped the horn off of one of Becky’s unicorns. So we had it fixed! WordGirl: Angelface! They fixed your horn! Mr. Botsford: You know, you ought to go find Lady Redundant Woman and-- I don’t know-- stop her? WordGirl: Ugh! I’ve been trying to, but, you know, hundreds of evil copies? Mr. Botsford: Yeah, there’s noodles of them! WordGirl: Noodles--? WordGirl: Um, not to be difficult, but noodles are food? Oodles means a large quantity of something, like… hundreds of evil copies! WordGirl: That-- was-- Angelface! WordGirl: Come on, Huggy. Let’s finish this. Mayor: Hey, can I go back to my office now? I have oodles of work to do! Thursdays are my busy day. Lady Redundant Woman: I don’t care if you have oodles of work to do. Or a lot of work to do. Or even an enormous amount of work to do! You were impolite! And now I’m being impolite! WordGirl: Not so fast, Lady Redundant Woman! WordGirl: I don’t appreciate when villains take over cities, things can go wrong! Innocent unicorns can get broken! Lady Redundant Woman: And WordGirls can get TRAPPED! Mayor: Oh, THERE’S the city’s bear trap! And they said we’d never use it! Ha. WordGirl: Lady Redundant Woman, I demand that you end this now! Lady Redundant Woman: This will never end! Never! Not until every last person in this city understands the anger, the fury, and the rage I felt when I was treated rudely while waiting in the lunch line! WordGirl: Really? Is- is THAT what this is all about? You won’t give up until everyone knows what it feels like to be stuck in a line because people are impolite? Lady Redundant Woman: YES! WordGirl: Hmm… WordGirl: Uh, look, I don’t want to seem like I don’t care about your feelings, Lady Redundant Woman, but-- everyone already knows what it feels like to be treated impolitely. Lady Redundant Woman: What? No, uh-- really?? WordGirl: Oh yeah, we’ve all felt like that! Lady Redundant Woman: You have? Stu Brisket: Sure. Everyone has. We all know what it’s like, and-- and how mad it can make you when people are impolite. Used Car Salesman: That’s right. Lady Redundant Woman: It’s just-- I had no idea. But there-- there were oodles and lots and many other impolite things too! HE interrupted me while I was talking-- Stu Brisket: I’m sorry, Lady Redundant Woman. Lady Redundant Woman: And, HE was snapping his gum when he cut in front of me in line! Used Car Salesman: I’m sorry. Bad habit. WordGirl: Yeah, that’s totally impolite. Lady Redundant Woman: But the worst, the most inconsiderate, and the one who was the most impolite, was the MAYOR! Mayor: Now, just a minute! As mayor, I would surely notice if I were being impolite! If I knew what the word meant. WordGirl: Impolite. It means being rude or disrespectful. Like when you do something hurtful or careless to someone… like cutting in line. Mayor: Hmm. Well, maybe I was impolite. I am very sorry if I was impolite. Lady Redundant Woman: You are? (pause) Wait, just because he says he’s sorry, I’m supposed to give up? WordGirl: Would it help if I insisted on you giving up? Lady Redundant Woman: It might… but I’m still in control, and you’re still trapped, caught, and snared in the city’s bear cage! Mayor: As Mayor, I never go anywhere without the remote control to the bear cage! WordGirl: So. Will you let everyone go now? Lady Redundant Woman: Oh… yes. It appears I have no choice. Lady Redundant Woman: Gosh, everyone-- I’m so sorry! I- I was so upset, I ended up being impolite. Mayor: Well, uh, to make it up to you, I promise you won’t have to wait in a single line at the police station! Used Car Salesman: Sorry about-- cutting in line. (Starts to blow a bubble, then stops himself.) And that. Lady Redundant Woman: Oh-- I’m sorry too. Stu Brisket: And I hope you enjoy jail. Lady Redundant Woman: Thanks, you too. I- I- I mean, I will. Narrator: And so, thanks to WordGirl, Captain Huggy Face, and our kind citizens who showed understanding and compassion in the face of extreme impoliteness, the city is back to the way it was. WordGirl: Yeah, you know what would a better ending? If Angelface wasn’t in oodles of pieces. Mr. Botsford: Um, excuse me, WordGirl? WordGirl: Yeah? Mr. Botsford: Here you go. WordGirl: (gasps) Thanks, Da-- uh, Mister? Mr. Botsford: It’s just like the one I got for my daughter Becky. WordGirl: Oh, I bet she’ll love it. Narrator: What a nice ending, you know? Narrator: Ah-- join us again next time for oodles of thrilling showdowns with impolite villains on-- (The last part of his sentence is muffled. WordGirl, angry at having another figurine broken, chases after Huggy. Huggy ends up running into Mr. Botsford, and WordGirl, unable to stop herself, runs into both of them.)
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