Contents
| - :Chris: Yay! A crossover always brings out the best in each show! It certainly doesn't smack of desperation. The priorities are always creative and not driven by marketing...
:Stewie: Okay, that's enough.
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:Brian: I guess we're in a town called Springfield.
:Stewie: Springfield, eh? What state?
:Brian: I can’t imagine we’re allowed to say.
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:Lois: Oh, this Springfield place looks nice. We should visit here again.
:Brian: I dunno, Lois. This seems like a one-shot deal.
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:Peter: Don’t drink the water. Everyone around here looks like they have hepatitis.
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:Lois: Thank you so much for putting us up until we find our car.
:Marge: And thank you for not being a band of hippie murderers.
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:Peter: [to Apu] Hello, Funny-Sounding Cleveland!
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:Homer: Apu, a dozen donuts for our albino visitors.
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:Peter: Mmm. Yummy. Donut.
:Homer: That's pretty good, but try it like this. Mmm...donut...
:Peter: Mmm...donut...
:Homer: I think you and I are gonna get along juuuuuuust okay.
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:Bart: Eat my shorts!
:Stewie: "Eat my shorts." I love that! Is that a popular expression like "What the deuce"?
:Brian: Probably more popular.
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:Moe: Moe's Tavern, Moe speakin'.
:Bart: Uh, yeah, I'm lookin' for a friend, last name Kebum, first name Leigh.
:Moe: Eh, hang on, I'll check. Uh, hey, guys, do I got a Leigh Kebum? C'mon, look at the stools. Uh, is there a Leigh Kebum? Somebody check the rear, I know I gotta Leigh Kebum.
:Barney: Then you probably shouldn't be handling food!
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:Stewie: Hello, Moe? Your sister's bein' raped!
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:Bob Belcher: Yeah, we did it!
:Homer: What's he doin' here?
:Peter: Oh, we gotta carry him 'cause he can't fly on his own. We let that other guy try and look what happened.
:Cleveland: No, no, no, no, no, NO!!!
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:Homer: Alright, Peter, If we're gonna find your car, we gotta think like a car. So let's fill up at that gas station.
:[After the two drink gasoline]
:Peter: I feel sick.
:Homer: Keep drinking! I prepaid 40 bucks!
:Peter: Homer, maybe we're doing this wrong.
:[They see a woman put a gas pump into the rear of the car where it's located]
:Peter: Oh crap.
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:[After Homer drinks some Pawtucket Patriot Ale]
:Peter: That's pretty good, right?
:Homer: No. It's not good. This beer tastes exactly like Duff. It's just a lousy ripoff.
:Peter: Hey, whoa whoa whoa! It's not a ripoff of Duff! It may have been inspired by Duff, but I...I like to think it goes in a different direction.
:Homer: No, this is just the same as Duff, but, like, worse.
:Peter: Hey, come on, now, this is my favorite beer you're talkin' about. Hell, I work for the company. It's my livelihood.
:Moe: [takes the beer] Oh, yeah? Well, your livelihood is based on fraud.
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:Peter: I'm whisperin' in court to look smart.
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:Quagmire: Do you like sex?
:Lenny: Eh.
:Quagmire: I don't think we're that similar.
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:Cleveland: You know why they got us sittin' next to each other.
:Carl: Uh, because we're the two funniest guys in our town?
:Cleveland: Damn right!
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:Quahog James Woods: You lived in Springfield?
:Springfield James Woods: Yeah, I worked at the Kwik-E-Mart, researching a role.
:Quahog James Woods: These guys are gonna lose.
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:Judge Fred Flintstone: I've heard all I need to hear to make a decision. If ya ask me, neither of these beers is wholly original. They're both pale imitations of my favorite beer, Budrock.
:Peter: Oh ho ho!
:Homer: Ooh!
:Judge Fred Flintstone: But rendering a verdict is something I'm paid to YABBA-DABBA-DOO!
:Peter & Homer: Eh.
:Judge Fred Flintstone: And I find in favor of Duff.
:Lois: Oh no!
:Meg: Oh no!
:Peter: Oh no!
:[nothing happens, then Peter's cell phone rings]
:Peter: Hello.
:Kool-Aid Man: Uh, hey. I'm...I'm in the wrong Springfield.
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:[Homer attempts to choke Peter]
:Peter: What the hell? That really hurts!
:Homer: No, it doesn't! I do it to my son all the time!
:Peter: You strangle your son? That's insane! No wonder he’s fat and stupid and masturbates all the time!
:Homer: That’s your son!
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:Homer: Hey, knock it off! There's a kid back there!
:Ralph: Heh-heh, I'm in danger.
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:Kodos: Perfect, the Earthlings are destroying themselves.
:Roger: Yeah, it's really great, isn't it, guys? [to the camera] We went to summer camp together.
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:Peter: It appears that I am now the only one with radioactive powers, which will allow me to unleash my fury... [the radioactivity wears off] Oh, I talked too long.
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:[The spaceship jumps over Springfield Gorge]
:Peter: We're gonna make it!
:Homer: Trust me, we're not.
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:Peter: Woohoo!
:Homer: Road House!
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:[Homer prepares to crush Peter with a rock]
:Homer: Say hi to Maude Flanders.
:[Peter sees the spaceship about to fall and prepares to get out of the way]
:Peter: No, you say hi to Muriel Goldman.
:Homer: Who?
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:Peter: I'm sorry we fought. I just wanted to make you laugh and cry. I'm a Family Guy.
:Homer: I understand. I'm a The Simpsons.
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:Homer: Let's just agree to stay a half hour away from each other.
:Peter: With a pile of garbage between us.
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:Comic Book Guy: Worst. Chicken fight. Ever.
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