| abstract
| - Girl: It’s like this, Your Majesty. Peter Piper picked a peck of my pickled peppers. Queen Delightful: A peck? Girl: A bag full. About yay big. Delightful: Uh-huh. And you are… Girl: Paddy Puddle. Delightful: I see. So, Peter Piper picked a peck of Paddy Puddle’s pickled peppers. So what’s the problem, Paddy? Paddy: Problem is, Peter Piper didn’t pay. Picked ‘em right out of the pepper pot, and put ‘em in his pant pocket. Delightful: Is that true, Peter Piper? Did you put a peck of Paddy Puddle’s pickled peppers from the pepper pot in your pant pocket without paying Patty Puddle for the peck of pickled peppers you picked? Peter Piper: Um, could you repeat that? Delightful: Ooh! I’m not sure! Puddle peck a Paddy pepper-- Oop! Nope! (chuckles) Anyway, just pay for the peppers. Problem solved. Bye-bye! Who’s next? Lord Starchbottom: Old Woman! Delightful: Lord Starchbottom! How rude! Don’t call her “old woman”! Use her name! (to the old woman) What’s your name, my dear? Woman: Old Woman. Delightful: Oh! Alrighty then! What have you come to ask of your Queen, Old Woman? Old Woman: Well, it’s about my house, ma’am. I have so many children, (the camera zooms out to reveal the children) I don’t know what to do. So when this lovely home became available, we all moved in. Now, (points thumb backward) he wants it back. Delightful: Who wants it back? (rumble) Old Woman: Him! Delightful: Oh. Hello, friendly giant! (chuckles) I didn’t see you there! So, Old Woman is living in your house, hmm? Giant: In my shoe, actually. It fell off in a meadow, and when I bent down to put it back on, she and all those kids just ran in. Delightful: You’re living in his shoe? Old Woman: Well, I am the Old Woman Who Lives In A Shoe. So……… you know. Giant: Problem is, I need it back! Old Woman: And I need a place to live with all me children! Delightful: (whispers in Starchbottom’s ear) Starchbottom: Oh, absolutely, Your Majesty. I’d be honored! Delightful: Friendly giant, you may have your shoe back. (does a finger shake with the giant) Giant: Much obliged, Majesty. Delightful: As for you, Old Woman, Lord Starchbottom is going to build you a . Starchbottom: Yes! Delightful: With the help of the 7D! Starchbottom: No! (cut to the forest) Starchbottom: (clearing throat:) Eh-ehm! Now, listen up! Queen Delightful has put me in charge of building the Old Woman’s house. Therefore, you will not do anything until I! instruct you to do so! Is...that...clear?! (the camera cuts to a zoom out of the 7D working on the ) Starchbottom: What are you doing? Doc: Building the Old Woman’s shoe. Starchbottom: How can you build the shoe when you haven’t seen my drawing of what the shoe should look like?! Sneezy: (pointing to smaller object on blueprint) What’s that? Starchbottom: It’s the shoe house you are going to build. Grumpy: Looks more like a blobby thing eating another blobby thing! Happy: Ooh! It ‘’does’’ look like a blobby thing eating another blobby thing! Nice blobby things, Starchy. Starchbottom: (grabs blueprint) No! It’s a shoe house! See, there’s the… it, I guess it does look like a blobby thing. Happy: Two blobby things! Starchbottom: (sighs) I can see the shoe house in my mind! I just can’t draw it very well! Grumpy: But we gotta start building this thing now. The Queen wants it finished by the end of the day so Old Woman and her kids can move in! Starchbottom: I know! I just need a little bit more time to draw it better. It’ll -- It’ll be fine. You’ll see. Sleepy: (yawns) I’m gonna take a nap. (snores) (Old Woman’s kids are having fun) Grumpy: Hey! You kids! Get back here! Kid: Come on! Come on! Grumpy: (walks in on the kids) Hey! Hey! Hey! Whoa! Whaddaya kids think you’re doin’? You can’t play around these tools and and whatnots, it’s dangerous. Fat kid: Can I squeeze your nose? Cute girl: Do you like bugs? Blue shirt girl: Why is the sky blue? Small kid: Is that your real belly? Grumpy: No, yes, I don’t know, and nunna your business. Now, come on. Outta here! (puts three kids in a wagon) Move it! Go! Kids in wagon: Whee! (jumps out of wagon) Again! Again! No! Old Woman: Oh, thank you for making sure they’re safe. It’s so ‘ard keeping an eye on them all. I have so many, I don’t know what to do! Grumpy: How ‘bout leashes? Delightful: (distantly) Yoo-hoo! Starchbottom: Your Majesty! Delightful: I just wanted to see how the shoe’s coming along! Bashful: Well, actually, we haven’t even-- Starchbottom: Oh! Wow! Just fine! Yessiree! Couldn’t be better! Progress! Progress! Delightful: Ohh! Goodie! I can’t wait for Old Woman to see it when she gets back! Old Woman: Back? From where, mum? Delightful: I’ve been thinking about you raising all these children! You probably never take any time for yourself! Old Woman: Oh, no, mum! Never! Delightful: Well, today, you are. I’ve got the whole day planned! Just you and me! Old Woman: My goodness. But no. Who’d watch the children? Delightful: Grumpy will! Grumpy: The what now? Delightful: Look how fond of you they are. By the way, there’s one on your head. Boy: Hi! My name’s Eenie! Grumpy: And I’m Grumpy. Eenie: You’re funny! (uses Grumpy’s nose as a horn) Grumpy: Hey! Eenie: Hahahaha! Haha! Delightful: Come, Old Woman! Our day away awaits! Old Woman: You be good, children! Listen to your Uncle Grumpy! And don’t you play in his beard. You don’t know where it’s been. Kids: Bye! Mommy! See you later! (etc.) Bye! Old Woman: (from the Sky Bucket) Uh, I don’t know about this, Your Majesty! Eh, maybe I should just stay and take care of the children! Delightful: Sometimes, the best way to take care of the ones we love is by taking care of ourselves! Old Woman: Sorry, I don’t follow. (Song: Ye Old Jollywood Spa) Delightful: ♪ Eee-ven mothers need to get away, ♪ ♪ It’s not against the law (The law!) ♪ ♪ To get some special pampering ♪ ♪ At Ye Old Jollywood Spa! ♪ This is Old Woman (Old Woman!) ♪ ♪ She lives in a shoe (She lives there!) ♪ ♪ That’s really her name (Yes, it is!) ♪ ♪ So, I’m not being rude (Yeah, we know!) ♪ ♪ This is Pipsy (Pipsy!), and Fancy (Fancy!) ♪ ♪ They’ll give you the works (Get it all now!) ♪ ♪ Don’t worry, it’s free (Free!) ♪ ♪ Being Queen has its perks (A little perks, now!) ♪ Delightful: Let’s see now, we’ll take the “Rapunzel, Let Down Your Hair Treatment”! Old Woman: Oh, lovely! Delightful: Ooh! And then the “I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your hair dry!” Old Woman: I can hardly wait for that one! Delightful: And we’ll end with, “Chicken Little My Face is Falling Facial”. How does that sound? Old Woman: Oh! It’s back to swimsuit modeling for me, mum! Pipsy/Fancy: ♪ A day getting pampered ♪ ♪ Is just what you need ♪ ♪ When you’re feelin’ run down, ♪ ♪ We can help, guaranteed ♪ ♪ So let Pipsy, and Fancy ♪ ♪ Remove every flaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwww ♪ ♪ At Ye Old Jollywood Spa ♪ ♪ At the spa, yeah, ♪ ♪ Jollywood spa, yeah, ♪ ♪ At the spa, yeah ♪ ♪ At Ye Old Jollywood Spa ♪ ♪ At the spa, yeah, ♪ ♪ Jollywood spa, yeah, ♪ ♪ At the spa, yeah ♪ ♪ At Ye Old Jollywood Spaaaaaaaaa! ♪ (cut to the children playing and apparently annoying Grumpy) Grumpy: Okay. Stop! (gets hit by another ball) Stop! Eenie: Uncle Grumpy, read me a book. Grumpy: I don’t have a book. Eenie: Tell me a story. Grumpy: I’m not good at stories, Eenie. Eenie: (making cute look) Pweaaaaaaaaaaaassssssssssssse. Grumpy: Okay, okay. Let’s see now. Uh… once upon a time, there was this guy, see? And...uh...uh… he went up a mountain. And then, uhh… and then he fell down! But he was okay. The end. Eenie: That’s not a very good story. Grumpy: I know, right? Told you. (cut to Starchbottom trying to draw the shoe house perfectly) Doc: Finished with that drawing of the show house yet? Starchbottom: How’s this? (shows another picture that also looks like a blobby thing eating another blobby thing) Happy: Ooh! You’re getting real good at those blobby things! Starchbottom: How am I gonna show you what the shoe house looks like if I can’t even draw it? Doc: Instead of drawing it, why don’t you try describing it to us? Starchbottom: Oh! Good idea. Okay. Well, it’s the perfect shoe house, one that says “I’m a shoe”-- Doc: “But I’m also a house.” Starchbottom: Exactly! One that says “I’m sturdy and strong”-- Sneezy: But warm and comfy, too! Starchbottom: Precisely! Sleepy: Hey! I got it! (cut to the 7D, they’ve made a bunny slipper) Starchbottom: A slipper?! Sleepy: You said you wanted comfy. Starchbottom: You built a big, pink, fuzzy bunny slipper? Happy: Told you he’d like it? Good job, everybody. Doc: Well done, 7D. Sneezy: Home we go. Sleepy: (yawns) Nap time. Starchbottom: No! She’s not the old lady who lives in a bunny slipper! She’s the old lady who lives in a shoe! Happy: How about we just build a blobby thing eating another blobby thing? Hmm? Starchbottom: No. Listen: it’s a shoe. And inside, it’s got an open floor plan. Sneezy: (snaps) I know what he wants! (cut to the 7D’s newly-built sandal) Starchbottom: A sandal? Happy: Told ya he’d like it. Good job, everybody! Starchbottom: She’s the old lady who lives in a shoe, not a sandal! Sneezy: You said you wanted an open floor plan! Starchbottom: Not that open! What if it rains? It needs to be practical. Doc: I got it! (cut to the 7D, where they have built a roller skate) Starchbottom: A roller skate? I said it needs to be practical! Doc: It is practical. If it rains, she could just roll it into a shed. Starchbottom: No, no, no! How can I make you understand? (sighs; the 7D walk up to him) If only I could draw it. It’s-it’s like the shoe is right in front of me. Dopey: (notices Starchbottom’s shoes, then whistles) (cut to Old Woman’s kids riding on Gizelle) Grumpy: Okay, next two. Round and round we goes. And when this day will end, nobody knows. Kid: Um, Uncle Grumpy? Grumpy: Yeah. Kid: Have you seen Eenie? He’s not around anywhere. Grumpy: Of course he is. He’s right over… (notices Eenie’s disappearance) Where is he? Eenie? Eenie? (looks in tree hole) Eenie! Eenie! (looks in another tree hole) EEENIIEEE! (from cliff of the mountain) Eenie! (echo:) Eenie! Eenie! I lost Eenie. Oh, it’s all my fault! I lost Eenie! Eenie: Hewe I am. Grumpy: Eenie. What’re you doing running away like that? Eenie: Since your stories are so bad, I had to get this book from our stuff. Wead? Grumpy: (sighs) Eh, okay. Come on, kids. Sit next to Uncle Grumpy. (reading) “Fuzzy the Worm. Fuzzy the worm woke one morning, and discovered he was hungry.” Hmm. I’m intrigued. (cut to Starchbottom) Starchbottom: (cries) Delightful: Yoo-hoo! Starchbottom: No! Time’s up! She’s back and the shoe isn’t built! I’ve failed. (sighs) Might as well go, pack my bags. Delightful: Hmm. That’s not what I was expecting at all. Starchbottom: I know, Your Majesty. It’s all my fault. Delightful: It’s much better than I expected! It’s absolutely perfect! Doc: Lord Starchbottom gave us the design. Starchbottom: I-I did? But how? Doc: You’re wearing them, your shoes. Starchbottom: Well, whaddaya know? The perfect shoes I kept seeing in my mind were on my feet all along! Delightful: And now, may I present: Old Woman! (Old Woman appears with her new makeover) Old Woman: Hello, everyone! (7D gasp) Happy: Old Woman! You clean up good! Old Woman: Ohhhhhh! The is wonderful. I hope the children behaved themselves. Where are they? Eenie: (reading) “That was a yummy dinner,” said Fuzzy the worm! Old Woman: Children! Children: Huh?! Mom! You look beautiful! Eenie: Wow, you’re pretty! Children: YAY! Old Woman: Thank you, children. Now, let’s go move into our new home. Kid: Look at your hair! Old Woman: Don’t touch my hair. Delightful: Grumpy? (Grumpy wakes up) Grumpy: Hmm? What? Wait. Where are the kids? Delightful: They’re with their mother. Thank you so much for watching them. Grumpy: What? Who? Me?! (chuckles) Oh, it was nothin’. We did a little of this, a little of that, and, then… Oh, I’m a wreck. Delightful: I know just what you need! (cut to the 7D’s cottage at night time as Grumpy opens the door) Happy: Grumpy, that you? Where have you been? Grumpy: Uh… nowhere. Nevermind. G-Go back to bed and don’t turn on the light. (light turns on) I told you not to turn on the light! Happy: Grumpy. You clean up good! (thumbs up) Grumpy: Tell no one of this, ever. Pipsy/Fancy: ♪ At Ye Old Jollywood Spa! ♪ Grumpy: (grunting:) Ahh! (the end)
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