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| - Artimas: Hello and welcome to another episode of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire: WFW! Right now, we've got another eager contestant today who's looking to win the million. Say hello to WHITEFOOT! Whitefoot: HI, ME! Artimas: You weren't meant to say anything, Whitefoot: WHEEEEEEEEEEEE! Artimas: Why don't you sit down? (Whitefoot sits down) Artimas: Now, let's go over the rules. Whitefoot: YAAAAAAAAAAAY! Artimas: Someone forgot to take their mental pills. Okay, there are 15 questions. You must answer all 15 correctly to win the million. Get a question wrong and you'll go back to the last milestone. Answer a milestone question correctly and you can't leave with anything less than that amount. Got it so far? Whitefoot: Got it. Artimas: If you get stuck at any point in the game, you have the option of one of four lifelines: 50-50, Phone A Friend, Ask the Audience and Double Dip. Double Dip only becomes available after the $4,000 question and cannot be used with any other lifeline. If you elect to use your Double Dip, you can't walk away. If you have no lifelines left, or don't feel like playing the question, you can always walk away. You'll win the value of the last question you answered correctly. Ready to play? Whitefoot: YAAAAAAAAAY! Artimas: Okay, let's play for $100. Whitefoot: The answer is 2. Final answer. Artimas: That's correct for $100. Whitefoot: OMSC! I'M RICH! Artimas: (facedesk) Whitefoot: What? Artimas: You're really strange. (watch beeps) Whitefoot: Oops, time to take my mental pill! (Whitefoot takes a mental pill) Artimas: Are you calm now? Whitefoot: Calm as I can be. Calm. Very calm. Yes ma'am. Artimas: Good! Let's play for $200! Whitefoot: I really do hate that book series. Well, I hate the movie more. Kristen Stewart. Ugh. Artimas: What's the answer? Whitefoot: It's A. Twilight. Final answer. Artimas: Correct for $200. Whitefoot: Yay! Artimas: Let's play for $300. Whitefoot: Well... all four of those could happen. Artimas: Really? Even the Tigerstar one? (Tigerstar runs in to the studio) Tigerstar: ROAAAAAAR! TIME TO DIE! Artimas: No! Get out! (sprays Tigerstar with bug spray) Tigerstar: NUUUUUUUUUUU! I'VE BEEN SPRAYED! (runs out of the studio crying) Artimas: There we go. You were saying? Whitefoot: I was saying that all four of those could happen, but the saying says curiosity. D. Curiosity. Final answer. Artimas: That's the right answer. You've won $300. Whitefoot: RICH! Artimas: Okay then. Whitefoot: You totally owned Tigerstar with that bug spray, OMSC! Artimas: I'm a heck of a shot. Here's the next question for $500. Whitefoot: I love this dance! Artimas: You do? Whitefoot: Yes! The Lindy Hop! Final answer. Artimas: Correct for $500. Whitefoot: YAY! Awww, now I wanna Lindy Hop! D: Artimas: Well why don't you? Whitefoot: Because it needs a partner! Artimas, will you dance with me? Artimas: I don't know how! Whitefoot: Then I'll show you! Come ooooon! Crowd: DANCE! DANCE! DANCE! Artimas: (sigh) Okay. (Artimas gets up) (they start Lindy Hopping) (crowd cheers) Whitefoot: Do you like it? Artimas: THIS IS MORE FUN THAN THE TIME I RODE A JUMPING CASTLE IN TO THE CITY!!!! Producer: ARTI! Artimas: Okay, let's sit down now. Crowd: Awwwwwwwww! (they sit down) Artimas: That was so much fun! I am so taking Lindy Hop classes! Whitefoot: Awesome! Artimas: Let's play for $1000. Whitefoot: WALL-E was a great movie! Artimas: Yes it was. Whitefoot: Walle and the female robot were so cute! Artimas: Yes they were. Whitefoot: Aw, but what was her name? Artimas: I know the answer. Producer: Don't say anything! Artimas: But... Whitefoot taught me how to Lindy! D: Producer: Arti, be quiet! Whitefoot: I think it was Eve. Artimas: Are you going to go with that? Whitefoot: Yes. I'm going with C. Eve. Final answer. Artimas: Whitefoot, for $1000, you locked in C. Eve. Whitefoot: And...? Artimas: I'm so sorry, Whitefoot, but it's the wrong answer. Whitefoot: NUUUUUUUUU! Artimas: Is what I would say if it was actually the wrong answer! You've won $1000! Whitefoot: (gasp) Don't scare me like that! Artimas: (laughs) I love this job. Whitefoot: (moans) Artimas: Are you ready to play for $2000? You might as well play since you have nothing to lose. Whitefoot: Okay. Artimas: Here it is: Whitefoot: (fangirl squeal) KATY PERRY! MY SWEET KATY! OH, MY LOVE FOR YOU! Artimas: The answer? Whitefoot: SHADDAP! I'm not done fangirling! Artimas: But you're a boy. Whitefoot: I don't care! Artimas: Continue. Whitefoot: KATY PERRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! EEEEEE! KATY! MARRY ME! EEEEEEEEEEE! Artimas: Are you quite done? Whitefoot: C. Waking Up In Vegas. Final answer. Artimas: Your obsessive fangirling pays off! It's the right answer! Whitefoot: Of course it is. You're talking to the cat who's had front row seats at every Katy Perry concert in the world. Artimas: TMI, hon . Whitefoot: What, are my stalker habits creepy? Artimas: Very. Shall we play for $4000? Whitefoot: We shall. Artimas: Remember, if you get this right, you unlock the Double Dip lifeline. Whitefoot: Mmmmhm. Artimas: Let's play! Whitefoot: Arti, I'm going to phone a friend. Artimas: That was quick. Whitefoot: I really have no idea, but I know someone who might. Artimas: Who would you like to phone? You can phone GINGERHEART, TIGERSTRIPE, AMBERSTRIPE, SEALFUR or ROSE. Whitefoot: I'll phone Gingerheart. Artimas: Just wait a sec while we get her on the line. (the phone rings) Gingerheart: Hello? Artimas: Hi, Gingerheart! It's Arti here from Who Wants To Be A Millionaire: WFW! Gingerheart: Hi! Artimas: I've got your friend Whitefoot in the hot seat. He's going for $4000 and needs your help. Gingerheart: Okay. Artimas: The next voice you hear will be Whitefoot's. After that, you've got 30 seconds to give him answer. Got it? Gingerheart: Got it. Whitefoot: Hello Gingerheart! Gingerheart: Sup. Whitefoot: Okay, Gingerheart, here's the question: Which of these places is not visited by Jake Epping in Stephen King's novel 11.22.63? Is it A. Derry, B. Jodie, C. Lisbon Falls or D. Wisconsin? Gingerheart: It's D. Jake Epping's alter ego George Amberson mentions being from there, but it's never actually visited. Whitefoot: How sure are you? Gingerheart: 5,000,000% Whitefoot: You dummy! That isn't possible! Gingerheart: Says the one who had to call me for help. Anyway, I'm out. Bye. (the line disconnects) Artimas: (laughs) I hate to say it, but you were owned. Whitefoot: Shut up! I'm going to say D. Wisconsin. Final answer. Artimas: That's correct! You've won $4000! Whitefoot: YAY! Artimas: And you've also unlocked a Double Dip lifeline. Whitefoot: YAY! Artimas: Let's play for $8000. Whitefoot: Um... well, I know it's not Frankfurt, because that's a sausage. Artimas: The sausage was named after the city in Germany, you halfwit. Whitefoot: Nuuuuuuu! I embarrassed myself on TV! D: Artimas: Sucked in. Whitefoot: Nuuuuuuu! Artimas: Do you have any idea at all? Whitefoot: Well, I don't think it's Berlin. I still don't think it's Frankfurt, and I've never heard of Hamburg. Artimas: So...? Whitefoot: So, based on process of elimination, I'm locking in B. Munich. Final answer. Artimas: Well, I can tell you its not Frankfurt. Whitefoot: Yes? Artimas: And it's not Berlin. Whitefoot: Just tell me the answer! D: Artimas: It's Munich! You've won $8000! Whitefoot: Yay! Artimas: Oh, and Hamburg's a city in Germany too. Whitefoot: Nuuuuuuuuu! Artimas: Ready to play for $16,000? Whitefoot: Ready. Artimas: Okay, here's the question. Whitefoot: How is that a $16,000 question? That's hard! Artimas: That's the idea. Whitefoot: I haven't got a clue! Artimas: That's why we have lifelines. Whitefoot: Well, I know that Mona Lisa was before The Last Supper, so it's not Mona Lisa. I don't think it's The Last Supper either... Oh, crap! Artimas: What are you gonna do? Whitefoot: Well, I've narrowed it to A or D, but I'll get those two options if I go 50-50... So I'm going to use my Double Dip lifeline. Artimas: Are you sure? Remember, if you use your Double Dip lifeline, you can't walk away or use any other lifelines. Whitefoot: Yes, I want to use my Double Dip lifeline. Artimas: What's your first choice? Whitefoot: My first choice will be D. Virtuvian Man. Artimas: FInal answer? Whitefoot: Final answer. Artimas: Well, Whitefoot,Virtuvian Man is not the right answer. Whitefoot: NUUUUUUUUUUUU! Artimas: What's your second choice? Whitefoot: A. St. John The Baptist. Final answer. Artimas: That's the right answer! You've just won $16,000! Whitefoot: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! AWESOME! Artimas: Let's play for $32,000. Get this right, and you won't leave with anything less. Ready? Whitefoot: Ready! Whitefoot: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (starts rocking back and forth) Artimas: What is it? Whitefoot: Wolves... no! NO! NO! I'M NOT ANSWERING THAT QUESTION! Artimas: You have to? Whitefoot: NO! I'M WALKING AWAY! Artimas: What? But you still have two lifelines. Whitefoot: I REFUSE TO ANSWER THAT QUESTION! I'M WALKING AWAY! FINAL ANSWER! Artimas: O...kay then. Well, the good news is, you've won $16,000! Whitefoot: (bursts in to tears) Why'd I have to get that question? D: (Whitefoot grabs the cheque and leaves the studio) Whitefoot: STUPID WOLVES! I HATE THEM! AAAAAAAAAAAAH! Artimas: Well... that is the strangest ending I have ever seen! For all you folks at home, here was the correct answer: Artimas: Come back after the break, where we'll meet a new contestant! Hopefully not a lunatic this time...
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