Her Insular Majesty María II Gloria Punani Half-Dwarf, Half-Ewok National Panasonic Macapagal-Arroyo Puquercia XXI (also affectionately called simply as "the Dwarf") is the fourth True Queen of the cesspool that is the Philippines. She is the country's second non-male queen-slash-president after Corazon Aquino, and is also considered history's shortest head of state; shorter, in fact, than Napoleon. Frequently mistaken as an otaku that didn't quite climb high enough in the evolutionary ladder, rumour has it that the only reason people stand up during her speeches is because she's too damn short to be seen. She was also the son of former president Diosdado Macapagal before the threat of Woodstock forced him (Gloria, that is) to undergo sex-change surgery. According to medical reports, Glori
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| - Her Insular Majesty María II Gloria Punani Half-Dwarf, Half-Ewok National Panasonic Macapagal-Arroyo Puquercia XXI (also affectionately called simply as "the Dwarf") is the fourth True Queen of the cesspool that is the Philippines. She is the country's second non-male queen-slash-president after Corazon Aquino, and is also considered history's shortest head of state; shorter, in fact, than Napoleon. Frequently mistaken as an otaku that didn't quite climb high enough in the evolutionary ladder, rumour has it that the only reason people stand up during her speeches is because she's too damn short to be seen. She was also the son of former president Diosdado Macapagal before the threat of Woodstock forced him (Gloria, that is) to undergo sex-change surgery. According to medical reports, Glori
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| - Above: Gloria shows us how to use natural methods of contraception.
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| - Just plain evil, but in a cute way!
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| - The one in the 200-peso bill
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| - Evil Queens of the Philippines
- Fourth True Queen of the Philippines
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buried
| - Ashes scattered across The Shire
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| - Her Insular Majesty María II Gloria Punani Half-Dwarf, Half-Ewok National Panasonic Macapagal-Arroyo Puquercia XXI (also affectionately called simply as "the Dwarf") is the fourth True Queen of the cesspool that is the Philippines. She is the country's second non-male queen-slash-president after Corazon Aquino, and is also considered history's shortest head of state; shorter, in fact, than Napoleon. Frequently mistaken as an otaku that didn't quite climb high enough in the evolutionary ladder, rumour has it that the only reason people stand up during her speeches is because she's too damn short to be seen. She was also the son of former president Diosdado Macapagal before the threat of Woodstock forced him (Gloria, that is) to undergo sex-change surgery. According to medical reports, Gloria's surgeon was at the time so drunk with vodka that he took out not only her penis but also most of what was supposed to be her height. Macapagal-Arroyo is also known in elite circles as "The Mole" because of a hideously abnormal growth on her left cheek, which medical experts believe is actually an alien relic implanted by the Catholic Church. She once had the unsavoury job of helping out George W. Bush stay in office (under the table, of course, to avoid the media), but now has to contend with the fact that she doesn't have one mention in Barack Obama's stimulus blowout.
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