abstract
| - Commentator: Well folks, it's another glorious Thanksgiving at the Buckner Memorial Arena. The game is sponsored by Richard M. Buckner of Buckmart super stores. Richard: Buckmart, buck$mart. Commentator Bill: The Skycats and the Mud Pidgeons are neck-in-neck this season, and things have certainly been heating up in the kitchen. Commentator Chuck: You said a thorough mouthful there, Bill! Commentator Bill: Ho ho, thanks Chuck! Let's see which team will be destined to take home the turkey! (cut to the door to the kitchen. There is a sign saying "Moredecai and Rigby KEEP OUT!!". Skips enters the kitchen wearing an apron. Pops is laying out the Thanksgiving dinner. Skips goes to check on the turkey. Benson comes in while checking the schedule,) Benson: How's the turkey comin', Skips? Skips: Needs another hour to cook. Benson: Good, good, we're on schedule. Once Muscle Man get back with the pies, we should have everything set. All that's left is picking up everyone's relatives from the airport. Pops: Oh, how wonderful it will be to give thanks with family here! (cut to the living room where the table for Thanksgiving is being set up by Mordecai and Rigby. Mordecai starts beatboxing.) Rigby: (using plates as turntables) ♪Eti-eti-eti-eti-etiquette!♪ Benson: Hey, you two. We're going upstairs to fix up the rooms for the guests. Remember: no football in the house! Rigby: Hmm, hmm. No football in the house. Cheeeeeck. Benson: And stay out of the kitchen. (leaves with Pops and Skips) I don't want you guys messing anything up. Mordecai: Bam! Table set. Rigby: You know what that means? (holds up football) Footbaaaaall! Mordecai: Dude, did you not hear what Benson said? No football in the house. Rigby: He didn't say anything about foam football in the house. (squeezes ball) Mordecai: Dude.....time to go looooong! Mordecai and Rigby: (slow motion) The kitchen! Rigby: Phew. Good thing this Child Safety gate was here. Mordecai and Rigby: (in slow motion, again) Noooooo! Muscle Man: Ugh, it took forever to get these pi- (steps on a slippery yam and starts squealing and slipping as he drops the pies and slams into the turkey which flies out.) Mordecai and Rigby: Aaaaaah! Benson: (picks up the foam football) What have you DONE?! (throws it between Mordecai and Rigby) The guests are arriving in a few hours! Now what do we do?! Ugh! I can't believe this! It's one thing to ruin my day, which is practically your job. (Mordecai and Rigby are more guilty than ever) But your own families? Don't you care about anything? (sighs) This is the worst thing you've ever done. Hi Five Ghost: Maybe we can fix this. What if me and Muscle go to get more sides? Thomas: Yeah, and I could pick everyone up from the airport. Skips: (nodding) It's worth a try. Pops, Benson, let's go get another turkey. Mordecai: We can help too! Benson: I think you've helped enough. Rigby: Sorry! (Benson closes the front door behind him.) Aw, man, we really messed up big this time. Mordecai: I know. They'll never find a turkey this late. If we don't fix this, our families won't have a Thanksgiving. Rigby: And we'll be fired. Mordecai: That, too. What are we gonna do? Farmer Jimmy: Don't have a turkey yet? Not gonna find one? It's me! Farmer Jimmy at Farmer JImmy's Turkey Farm. I love Thanksgiving, but you already know that! What you may not know is that I also have a love and appreciation for pop music! (plays rock tune) And it really rustles my jimmies that there's no Thanksgiving song. That's where you come in! I'm holding a contest at my farm. Whoever writes the best catchy radio-friendly Thanksgiving tune wins my prized turducken. That's a turkey stuffed with a duck stuffed with a chicken. Everybody knows that. For decades, turduckens have been engineered by man. What you may not know is that one get born naturally every million years. (checks the time) Oh, the contest starts in half an hour. I gotta get ready! Mordecai: Dude, this is perfect! Rigby: Yeah, man. We're great at songs. Mordecai and Rigby: We're gonna save Thanksgiving! Mordecai: Now what was it we were singing? (Rigby plays keyboard) Something, something pumpkin. Blah-blah-blah stuffing. Uhh... Mordecai: Yeah! Eating lots of food! Rigby: More than I can chew! Rigby: Yeah-yuh! This is gold! Mordecai: We still gotta come up with that first line though. Rigby: It'll come to us. Besides, I got a secret weapon. (whips out spoons) Bam! Mordecai: Spoons? Rigby: Sure, in the hands of a normal guy, but in the hands of a Rigby? (starts hamboning with spoons) Spoonboning! Mordecai: Dude, Rigby, gotta tell you that's like, (mimics explosion) blowin' my mind right now. We're totally gonna win! Aw, yeah! Mordecai and Rigby: Mordo and Rigs save Thanksgiving! Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah! (Cuts to a place called The Side Line. Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost are walking inside.) Muscle Man: This place has the best sides. (We see someone wth an order of two big sides and small bowls of small sides.) Even the sides got sides. (Muscle Man and Fives approach the front desk.) Billie: Muscle Man! Muscle Man: Yo, Billie! (they hi five) Billie: (chuckles) What can I get you, bro? Muscle Man: (pointing at the menu) This one. Mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, stuffing, yams and greens for 50. Billie: Aw, yeah. The Hail Mary platter. (Goes to the kitchen) Got it, brosive Announcer: And now back to the top End Zones dances of all time. #4, Brock Stettman! Muscle Man: Man, who made this list? Stettman's dance are lame. Hi Five Ghost: Hey Stettman, who taught you those moves? A dead cat? Muscle Man: You know who else had the better end zone dance? My--(someone places a hand on his shoulder) mom? Brock: (with other footballers) Brock Stettman will crush you. Skips: Look, there's one left. Benson: Oh, thank goodness. (Takes the turkey) The last turkey. Pops: Wow, how fortunate. Pilgrim: Good morning, fine sirs. Pretty pardon, would you like some help putting that turkey into your car? Pops: Oh, no. We're fine. (Turkey character punches Pops, then takes the turkey. The pilgrim, indian and turkey character rush into their truck and drive off. Benson and Skips help Pops.) Benson: Pops, are you ok? Pops: (groans) That turkey stole our turkey! Rigby: Dude, we're never gonna make it! (Mordecai sighs and starts to exit the traffic) Whoa! Hey! What are you doing?! Mordecai: I got an idea. Frank: Diaper boy! Rigby: What's Margaret's dad doing here? (Mordecai glares at him.) Frank: I live here. (To Mordecai) Sorry, Margaret's not here. She's with her new boyfriend.(Mordecai is shocked. Frank chuckles) I'm kidding. She's working on a term paper. Mordecai: (chuckles nervously) Well, we're not here to see Margaret. Frank: Oh. Well, uhh, you guys wanna come in? We got plenty to eat. Mordecai: No, thanks, Mr. Smith. We need a favour. Without your help, our Thanksgiving will be ruined. Frank: (to Denise Smith) Denise, wrap up some turkey sandwiches. Daddy's gotta save Thanksgiving. Brock: Brock Stettman will crush you. (has a smile) In an end zone dance-off! Muscle Man: Huh? Brock: Ball me, James. (James gives Brock a football. Muscle Man stares at Brock as he perform his end zone dance. Brock concludes with a footbal throwdown. Everyone cheers) Beat that! Muscle Man: Pssh. Easy. (picks up football and starts mimicking those moves) Brock: Well, bless my pigskin. He's doing the typewriter. Oh, snap! Now he's sealing an envelope. Sending a letter, receiving a letter. Taking it up the river. Going for the full split! (When Muscle Man splits, he hurts himself and squeals. Everyone is surprised. Fives goes over to him as he groans.) Muscle Man: My hammie, bro. Brock: (Takes the foottball from Muscle Man) Lesson learned. Brock Stettman is the king of end zone dancing! Whoo! (throws the football down, and it bounces. Billie comes back with the order of sides.) Billie: Muscle Man, your sides is...(The football smashes into the platter, destroying it. Brock, Muscle Man and Fives are shocked.) Ready. Muscle Man: Oh no, bro. (falls back and squeals) Indian: We got company. (Carmenita appears on the left side of the truck.) Benson: Give us back the turkey! Pilgrim: Baste 'em. Thanksgiving Characters: No! Benson: (looking back) Ha, yes! Thanksgiving Characters: Hup two, hup two, hup two... Benson: What the... (The Indian jumps onto Carmenita and fights over the turkey with Skips.) Indian: This turkey is ours! Skips: Quick, the turkey! Benson: (turns red and winces) URRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! Mordecai and Rigby: ♪Chomp chomp! Chomp chomp! Football, footbal, fall asleep on couch. Slip into food coma!♪ Frank: Criminy, that's all you got? Mordecai: Well, and also.... (Rigby spoonbones and Mordecai stops him) Frank: Boys, it's gonna take more than silverware to win this contest. You have to sing from the heart. Plus, you still need to figure out that first line. Mordecai: Yeah, you're right. Rigby: At least all the other contestants so far aren't very good. Farmer Jimmy: Ok, unless there are some other contestants after this, we're down to our last entry! (Cut to the contest) Everybody welcome, Rich Buckner! Audience: (gasps) Rich Buckner. Mordecai, Rugby and Frank: Rich Buckner?! Rich: Now, I know what's going through your head: "That's Rich Buckner. He's the richest man in the world. What's he doing here!" Well, I love Thanksgiving, so I paid the best musicians in the world to write this song. Farmer Jimmy: That sounds like it'll be good! Rich: It is. And remember, shop at BuckMart for all your Thanksgiving needs. (rides off to the side of the stage.) Farmer Jimmy: Ok, give it up for Rich Buckner and his song, Chewing On Freedom! Dusty B: Alright everybody, we're about to drop the true meaning of Thanksgiving on y'all! Man: It's the American flag! It's the American flag! (Three shadows appears in the smoke. A spotlight shines o the first one as she sings.) Guy: Pop sensation Jeniffer! Guy: Aw, snap! Auto T.! Twins: (scream) Dusty B! (Background characters dance and musicians play.) Everyone: Baste the turkey, stuffing is good with Buckner breading carrots and peas. (We are shown a blimp promoting BuckMart. The crowd likes it.) Turkey's tender, sides are perfect, Buckner products we did it with ease. Let's give thanks to Richard Buckner and bow down gratefully! (4 Pilgrims come to the middle of the stage and revive someone) Let's eat this bird patriodically, as a family! Frank: Popular music stars, laser flags, reviving the dead! You better come up with something fast! Everyone: ...When you chew on some sides, you're chewing on freedom! Thanksgiving day in the USA! When you're chewiiiing.... Farmer Jimmy: Oh, my stars! Well, unless someone's gonna come down here in the next few seconds, Mr. Buckner, I am proud to award you (Rich notices Frank's jet) my one-of-a-kind, blue ribbon, prize-winning... Rugby: Stooooooop! Mordecai: Our names are Mordecai and Rigby, and we got a song too! Rich: It's too late. Farmer Jimmy: Just hold on there, Richard. They made it in just under the wire. Rich: What?! Farmer Jimmy: The pilgrims took a chance coming to the new world. Let's take a chance on these fellas. Audience: Let them play! Let them play! Rich: Ugh, fine! (walks off) Farmer Jimmy: Well, Mordecai and Rigby, the stage is yours. (pulls the turducken off the stage) Rigby: (whispering) Ah, dude, I still don't know what the first line is! Mordecai: (whispering) Just go with the 'pumpkin and stuffing' line. Rigby: (whispering) Alright. Thomas: Mordecai and Rigby, come in. It's Thomas. Mordecai: Thomas? Thomas: I'm at the airport. There's been a delay. Your family's flights won't be getting in till tomorrow. I'm so sorry. (Mordecai and Rigby are shocked) They're not gonna make it for Thanksgiving. (this is echoed is we see all the families gathered for dinner) Sorry. Rigby: What the point of having Thanksgiving without family? (drops paper) I'm outta here. Rich: Yes! Mordecai: Rigby, wait. Don't you see? This is what the song needs to be about. (Rigby looks at him and walks back. Mordecai takes his mic.) Today was a hard day for us, and well... (gulps) We really hope you like our song. (sighs and begins to sing) (Guitarist starts to play, and nods his head signaling Rigby to sing, who nods back.) (Drummer joins in.) Twins: Oh, Rigby! Mordecai and Rigby: ...when we come together on Thanksgiving. (Farmer Jimmy claps along while Rich glances at the audience and grunts before walking away.) When we come together on Thanksgiving.... (The audience memebers hug. Rigby gets them to clap along.) When we come together on Thanksgiving. (A spotlight is shone on Rigby as he starts spoonboning.) Oh woah, what are you thankful for? Audience: Thanksgiving! Man: Spoonboning! (his eyes water) Audience: Thanksgiving! (Benson, Pops and Skips are touched.) Benson: I forgive you. Audience: Thanksgiving! Audience: Thanksgiving! (They look at each other panting as the song ends. The audience cheers.) Man: That was awesome! (embraces his family) I love you guys! I'm so thankful that my whole family looks exactly like me! Farmer Jimmy: Well, I do declare! It seems to me as though we have a new winner! Mordecai: Yeah! Rigby; Yeah-yuh! Farmer Jimmy: Mordecai and Rigby, your song captured the true spirit of Thanksgiving. And I hereby present you with the grand prize of Farmer Jimmy's honest-to-goodness turducken! Mordecai: Hey, what are you doing?! That's our turducken! Rich: (putting the turducken inside the blimp) I tried to buy it from him but he wouldn't let me. So I spent millions on the perfect song. You guys just sang from the heart! That doesn't cost anything! Rigby: Give us our turducken! Rich: I'm afraid I can't do that. But we might have an extra turkey laying around somewhere (pulls out a turkey) Oh, hey! Looks like we do! Here ya (throws turkey) go! (The turkey fall apart when it hits the ground, and hits Rigby, who screams) Clean up on aisle six! (starts dancing and whooping as the blimp gets away) Mordecai: What are we gonna do?! Frank: Grab on, boys. We got a bad guy to catch. Pilgrim: This is an outrage! That song was the embodiment of all that holds true and dear about Thanksgiving. Benson: And that's why we're gonna help them get that turducken back! Now are you with us or not? Indian: It would be our honour. Brock: Hey, Muscle Man, I got the team jet parked outside with my entire defensive line on it. What do you say we go intercept that turducken? Muscle Man: I say game on, bro. (Cut to the Skycats jet. Muscle Man is wearing the team shirt. He takes it off and spins it as he whoops. The jet closes and the team takes off.) Mordecai: Hand over the turducken! Rich: Mordecai and Rigby. Have a seat. (They do so.) You may be wondering why a billionaire wants this turducken so much. Mordecai: I don't know. Does it taste really good or something? Rich: You really think I'm gonna eat this? You don't know anything, do you? It's true that just one is born every million years, but what no one know....(sticks his hand inside the turducken, grossing out Mordecai and Rigby. He pulls out a wishbone, made of solid gold.)....is that it has a golden wishbone! One that actually grants wishes! Mordecai: But what could you possibly wish for? You're a billionaire! Rich: The one thing that my attorneys tell me I can't buy: the rights to Thanksgiving! (They gasp as he goes to his fireplace) I run a successful business, employ thousands. Do I ever get the thanks? Giving? No. Everyone's too busy with their families. Soon they will all have to thank me! (moves chair aside) Thanksgving, brought to you by BuckMart. Mordecai and Rigby: No! (They tackle him down) Rich: Go! (kicks them away) Rigby: Spoonboning! Rich: Huh! (Rigby spoonbones toward him) No! No! Muscle Man: Air tackle the blimp! Go! Go! Go! (three team members tackle at his marks. Brock stands by him.) Alright, Stettman. Let's see some fancy footwork out there. Pilot: (grunts) Abandon ship! Rich: (looking at the wishbone) Finally, Thanksgiving is gonna be mine! (Rigby tries to grab the wishbone while Mordecai punches him in the face) Ugh! Get offa me! Ahhh! Mordecai: You can take what you want, but you could never take Thanksgiving from us! Rich: Oh yeah? Well I've got a golden wishbone right here that says otherwise! (kicks Mordecai and Rigby out, who scream while falling. Rich laughs) Thanks for shopping at BuckMart! (holds up what appears to be the wishbone) I wish that Thanksgiving could be mine! And another billion dollars in an untraceable Swiss bank account! (breaks it apart, but immediately discovers it wasn't the wishbone, but Rigby's spoons) Nooooo! (notices the blimp about to crash into the bridge) NOOOOOOOO! Mordecai: We wish to be safe at home with our friends and family! Now! Rigby: Why isn't it breaking?! Mordecai: 'Cause it's soild gold, man! Here, try this! (moves to a sitting position) Rigby: Okay! (does the same) Mordecai: Pull harder! Benson: What happened? Mordecai: The golden wishbone. We wished to come back home safe annd sound, and it worked! Rigby: Well, almost. It didn't grant the part where our families would be here. Thomas: Guys, guys! Remember when I said everyone wasn't coming? I was wrong! (Mordecai and Rigby's parents start coming out) I checked the departing flights instead of the arrivals. Mordecai, Rigby, Benson, Pops and Skips: Thomas! Mordecai's Father: Hey, Mordo! Mordecai's Mother: Hi son. Rigby's Mother: Is that grown man over there my Rigby? Rigby's Father: Come here, Rigby! Rigby: Mom! Pop! Mordecai: It's so good to see you guys! Exxcept, well... Rigby: There's no food because we destroyed it all. Rigby's Father: (laughs) Well, that's what families are for. Mordecai and Rigby: Woah! Thomas's Mom: (holding a turkey) Who's ready for some turkey? Benson: Ahem! Benson's Father: Oh? (to everyone) Hey, everybody! Pipe down! (to Benson) Go ahead, son. Benson: I just wanna thank everyone for coming. Thanksgiving can be a hectic time for many. But to see everyone here makes it all worth it in the end. Mordecai and Rigby, would you please stand up? (They do so) I know you guys aren't perfect, pretty much all the time. But I want you to know that I'm proud of you. You saved Thanksgiving! And for that, I raise my glass. (Mordecai and Rigby look at each other) Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. All: Happy Thanksgiving!
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