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| - A dark grey tom gently opened his mouth before leaning down gently, where a pile of three sparrows were sitting gently. He lowered his face, curled up his lip, stretched his jaw wider than I had ever known a jaw could possibly stretched, and attacked the poor, dead sparrows. There was a silent moment, before he pulled his face back up, nothing remaining on it, but small scraps of blood and feathers plucked of the prey. It looked exactly like the state of our poor Clan. And it was because of what stood before me. I had named him Sagestar, after the plant which was supposed to heal not hurt, although I don't know what his real name is. Sagestar is either the most evil, greedy, stupid or hungry cat the forest has ever seen. In fact, I am willing to bet he qualifies under all of those categories. Looking around me, the stomachs of my Clanmates are hollow, and sharp bones peak forcefully out of them, threatening to cut through their pelts. My gaze gently turns back up to plump, fat, Sagestar who has a master grin on his face, proud that he was able to devour so much food, in such a swift movement. He forces us to come watch him break records of how quickly he can eat at once, and how much his stomach can hold, but a voice in me tells me that the Clan would come to watch anyways. It's not like they had much better to do. And the scent of prey would be a reward if nothing else. I came too; and I wasn't sure if it was only because such was being forced upon me. It felt like I had to know what was going on in my home, even if it may just be a fat, old cat trying to devour as much food as he can while the rest of his Clan starves. I don't know how many young kits, queens, elders and even warriors or apprentices have died in the past twelve moons since I have become an apprentice. And the saddest part is that I don't think Sagestar even knows that a single cat died. All we are to him are cats who have to bring him several pieces of prey each day, and pick the forest clean of whatever prey remains in this harsh season of leaf bare. Somehow, I have managed to survive. I get the occasional pangs of hunger but its strange to me how little pain I feel, and how my bones are hardly visible under my starry pelt. All the cats have looks of disgust on their face as Sagestar's trio of muscular and hard-working, but well-fed warriors flicks their tails, indicating that we are free to go. As the cast paddle away I walk past Brambleberry, a tabby brown she-cat whose stomach looks far too plump for the season and the leader we are ruling under. It takes me a few moments to realize that she is expecting kits. It should be something for the Clan to celebrate and get excited for, and to be anticipated by all. A shine of hope, a chance of good fortune. But even Brambleberry seems distraught. Her eyes are weary and it is obvious she is already worrying for her unborn kits. I don't doubt they will die within their first half-moon in the clan. They don't stand a chance. She gets a few supportive licks from the rest of the queens, all of whom seem to immediately understand that she has kits on the way. I let out a soft sigh, not following the rest of the cats to their den, but instead deciding to head outside, and get some fresh-air if nothing else. I have no friends in the clan; less than the average warrior who only has a few friends. With prey so scarce it is each cat for themselves. Apprentices have mentors, but they aren't taught anything except for how to respect Sagestar above all else, and the queens as well as elders are left to fend for themselves, get their own prey and care for their own kits, fighting all the competition. But the Clan still has some hope and that comes from the stars that shine so brightly in the sky. Cats tell tales of strong, wonderful cats who live there. I personally don't believe in them. Instead, I believe in fate. Because legendary sky warriors would be more noble than to give us Sagestar and such oppression, hunger and disaster. Legendary sky warriors would try to help us regain our Clan and our honor. Legendary sky warriors wouldn't leave us for dead. But fate would. And it appeared that it was exactly what fate had chosen to do. No cat even thinks about trying to fight back against Sagestar when I doubt he could stand much of a chance. He is fat, lazy and incredibly slow. Killing him should be no big deal. But something is wrong with my world. A lot of things are. I have seen badgers running from mice, mice retreating to rabbit holes, and the day never seems to be right. You can never know when it will rain, snow or hail, or if there will be a bright huge moon, or a small one. I have learned to take nothing for granted. I don't think I would be surprised if I just dropped dead for no apparent reason as I gently paddled out of camp. It had happened to several cats before. And I don't think I would be the slightest bit disappointed or anguished that fate had actually decided to be a little kind to me for a change. The moon is bright, shinning fully, although moments before I could see sunlight littering into the floor of the camp, I have come to call home. My head gently turns to the stars, and a full moon, something incredibly rare, as I let out a low breath, before turning my head back to the dark ground and continuing to paddle. My ears could almost fill in the noises of a critter chirping or twigs snapping under the heavy step of prey, even though I knew they probably weren't there anyways. It wouldn't be right to expect them to be. My nose gently picks up a very fresh badger scent, but it isn't very new to me. Badgers are very heavily located around our territory and so we run into them a lot. Which, if one could imagine, was exactly what our clan needed. But this time, the scent is sharped than usual and I gently turn my head up to see a badger prowling, just a little further off and gently caught my breath. But the badger must have heard for it gently veered around, before its eyes widened at the sight of me and it let out a loud roar, which I could tell as it gently flexed its jaws. My stomach caught in my throat and I squeezed my deep blue eyes together tightly before letting them open again, my stomach thrashing wildly. In a quick movement, before I could make mine, the badger leaped onto me, its teeth pulled into a snarl, and bowled me over, fighting exactly like a cat might. A great way to explain the whole of my life. I had never been taught how to properly fight, so I was rather helpless in a fight against a badger. But, I still knew how to thrash and swipe my claws furiously at the creature, making it clear I wouldn't be taken down without a fight. Although that would probably be much easier. The badger stretched it jaws again, indicating that it had let out another loud roar. Letting out a muffled cry, I swiped my unsheathed claws at it again, before it finally loosened its grip and let go momentarily. I took advantage of the distraction, pushing myself up to my paws and pounding away, my footsteps slamming against the grassy territory of my Clan. My Clan... It was the one thing I had never came up with a name for. I had scetched many, including GrassClan, BriarClan, NightClan, and even SageClan, wondering is Sagestar would have decided it would be a good idea. Not that his real name is Sagestar. I'm not really sure why. Maybe I felt it didn't really deserve a name. Or maybe I thought the memories of what it once may have been were too noble to give it a title in this world. It could have been a combination of the two. My Clan was just something I couldn't take as lightly as everything else. I made up names for the rest of my Clanmates, since I didn't know them and for the different areas of camp. I was born knowing the names of several things, such as prey, other animals, landscapes and things that every living should be able to know. The rest I have no idea how to obtain. My feet continued to slam against the grass, and since I was unable to hear anything, I had to crane my head, turning it aroudn to see that the badger was in pursuit of me. And it was catching up quickly. My mind raced as I made a sharp turn and circled around a tree. A loud part of me was telling me to lead the badger back to camp, where the clan would have to deal with it, unless they wanted to be killed. And I really didn't have a logical reason not to take that path. But somehow, I found my paws leading me away from camp, and towards the pond, that was on the furthest border of it, where I knew there was no hope of being found or helped. For a moment I wasn't sure why I made that choice. Maybe I felt a scrap of sympathy for my clanmates. Maybe I was eager to prove to myself that I was different from Sagestar, and not nearly as greedy or self-centered, not willing to think about anyone else. Maybe I was a good cat. Although I would have liked to pretend it was any of them, I knew better myself. It was because I didn't care if the badger killed me. My life was an endless turn of horrible leaders,nature which had no patterns of sense and constant disaster with no explanation. Maybe if I did believe in the sky warriors then I would see hope. I would see a chance that everything just may be fixed and life may go on. But I didn't. Because, if they did exist-which I highly doubted-then they obviously didn't care for this clan anymore. They thought we were a peaceful place gone wrong. With no fixing. Every night I went to my nest and fell asleep wishing that everything would be fixed. That one day I could have a mate and kits and not worry about anything. But I knew that none of them would come true. The only wishes that came true were the ones that Sagestar made of us to catch him more prey for the day. None of the other ones survived. I soon understood that the badger had turned as well, to follow me as I gently shut by eyes, feeling it gaining closer and closer on me, its breath against my back. And as I took my final breaths I decided to make a last wish, before I died, and let it be one that had a chance of becoming true. I wished that the the sky warriors were real. And that I would join them in a peaceful world with no flaws or disasters. And that, maybe, I could convince them that Sagestar wasn't nearly as strong as he seemed. And the Clan could return to a supportive and peaceful one, even if I never got to see it. And suddenly, I went from not caring about dying to almost wanting it, in case my wish actually became real. In case it actually found the stars and made their way back to me. As I felt fierce badger claws piercing my pelt, I didn't let out a loud shriek like I had imagined I might. Instead, a soft sigh escaped from my body, as did the greatest wish of my life, as I gently let it soar to the sky, making its way up the dark, but starry night. What I hoped might be my first surviving wish.
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