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| - Bursting onto the international scene of the 1860s like an erupting blackhead, an adolescent United States of America was challenged by the economic realities of global commerce in the mid-nineteenth century. For centuries, French philanderers - from monarchs to serfs - had aroused the suspicions of other Western powers with their mistresses and not-so-private dalliances with Rough Gay Wolf Sex. British aristocrats had long enjoyed rodgering each other within the confines of Eton, and later, Cambridge and Oxford. The Dutch, with their penchants for drugs and prostitution, had long been world leaders in depravity, earning this title with their special Dutch oven technique. These perversions had enabled the establishment of modern navies, so necessary for colonisation. Secondary industries,
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| abstract
| - Bursting onto the international scene of the 1860s like an erupting blackhead, an adolescent United States of America was challenged by the economic realities of global commerce in the mid-nineteenth century. For centuries, French philanderers - from monarchs to serfs - had aroused the suspicions of other Western powers with their mistresses and not-so-private dalliances with Rough Gay Wolf Sex. British aristocrats had long enjoyed rodgering each other within the confines of Eton, and later, Cambridge and Oxford. The Dutch, with their penchants for drugs and prostitution, had long been world leaders in depravity, earning this title with their special Dutch oven technique. These perversions had enabled the establishment of modern navies, so necessary for colonisation. Secondary industries, specialising in prophylactics, toys, colonic irrigation and miscellaneous adult products developed with the newly found sexual liberation and riches from the colonies, spawning the growth of the middle classes. Marx wrote, "Double-ended dildos are the opiate of the asses." Even plucky newcomer, Japan, had added bukkake and schoolgirl pornography to its demure, inscrutable arsenal. Yet the prudish Americans had yet to extend their newly-found liberty to the boudoir. Whilst steaming ahead with industrialisation, democratisation and genocide, the Americans had largely ignored the benefits of kinky European sex. A young George Bush Sr. reported, "Unless we harness these new sexual arts, we are destined for libidinal mediocrity and impoverishment. I can't stand by and watch this happen, I won't stand by and watch this happen, and I can't stand by and watch this happen." Abraham Lincoln, whilst aboard the USS Gratuitous Anime Panty Shot, stated, "A constitutional amendment must be made to enshrine rodgering, fellatio, cunnilingus, analingus, felching, fisting, watersports, bukkake and other such extravagances in American law. No longer can we stand idly by and watch Europeans fucking each other every which way, only to be left behind with blue balls and a sore right hand. We must create a separate house of parliament in which our differences can be resolved through peaceful and erotic means. We must show our sailors that love can be enjoyed from on top, behind, sideways, with more than one other man and with several of God's wonderful creatures. Four score and three years ago, Americans were a people of blue balls and tight asses. Let us look upon this day as a defining moment in the history of out beloved nation: copulation of the people, for the people, by the people and sometimes also by animals, toys and so forth!" The sailors rejoiced and much rodgering took place. Lincoln could not sit for two weeks thereafter.
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