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| - Recently, an internet sex scandal has embroiled, erm, "her" party's government, as "she" has used "her" MSN savvy to try to woo unsuspecting MPs, including "her" leader, Stephen Harper into virtual sexual rendezvous. Most shockingly, however, Ken Dryden--"her" sworn enemy on child care--was one of the men "she" caught in "her" cyber web. This should not be so surprising, as it is becoming well known that Ambrose is extremely proficient in 13375P34K (pronounced leet speak), as well as Portuguese and Spanish. The matter is still a topic of much controversy in the Canadian media, as it appears that one of these illicit "convos" occurred between Ambrose and CTV's Mike Duffy.
- On April 7, 2006, she announced that Canada had no chance of meeting its reachable targets under the Kyoto accord. By doing so Canada became the first and only country to publicly state that we know we will not reach our Kyoto targets. On April 13, 2006, she stopped Environment Canada scientist, Mark Tushingham, from speaking publicly about his novel. The novel was about the result of not acting on Climate Change.
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| - Recently, an internet sex scandal has embroiled, erm, "her" party's government, as "she" has used "her" MSN savvy to try to woo unsuspecting MPs, including "her" leader, Stephen Harper into virtual sexual rendezvous. Most shockingly, however, Ken Dryden--"her" sworn enemy on child care--was one of the men "she" caught in "her" cyber web. This should not be so surprising, as it is becoming well known that Ambrose is extremely proficient in 13375P34K (pronounced leet speak), as well as Portuguese and Spanish. The matter is still a topic of much controversy in the Canadian media, as it appears that one of these illicit "convos" occurred between Ambrose and CTV's Mike Duffy. “Sometimes we'd prepare to meet...you know, online and stuff right...maybe get together, have a coffee and a nice bowl of onion soup, right? And then out of no where she would say something like, "Oh noes, I haven't shaved today!!!11!" and it would just kill the conversation.” ~ Mike Duffy on Rona Ambrose Recently, speculation on Ambrose's real gender has emerged, due to "her" mannish features and irregular first name. In a recent news report, Ambrose's mother admitted in a thick Brazilian accent to Rona's nickname being "Ron" in "her" youth, and that her child had spent an unexplained two-year stint in Thailand during the 1980s in an area of the country known for sexual health clinics (please see article on Area 68). Many female MPs have also noted that Ambrose has joked, "I only wear skirts longer than my penis", much to their confusion. Former Cabinet Minister and Conservative Party front-bencher Belinda Stronach has reportedly told Liberal insiders that Ambrose enjoys wearing Birckenstocks and men's briefs as well as "chauvinistic hip-hop" music, and is not afraid to flaunt such at Conservative Caucus meetings. “I am absolutely sure that [Ambrose] is wearing a wig....I believe that this matter must be dealt with as we may have Canada's first transexual MP here...” ~ NDP MP Judy Wasylycia-Leis''', stated in a leaked internal memo on Rona Ambrose Of course, there has been no official response on Ambrose's part, as "her" press secretary FiFi Starbeam-Pasqualini--who was later revealed to be a Romanian stripper named Daniela Stefanescu--repeatedly denied these allegations as "like, totally ridiculous...whaaaadaaaaBEEP". The Bloc Quebecois has pledged to hold a public inquiry into "her" activities if they form a government. However, Gilles Duceppe, leader of the Bloc Quebecois, told reporters in broken english that he would "support it's [Ambrose's] decision, no matter what shape or form". On the other hand, the ex-leader of the Liberal Party of Canada, Stéphane Dion (pronounced Steff-aaahn, as opposed to Steeve-en) was famously recorded sucking his teeth after being passed by Ambrose in the lobby of Parliament.
- On April 7, 2006, she announced that Canada had no chance of meeting its reachable targets under the Kyoto accord. By doing so Canada became the first and only country to publicly state that we know we will not reach our Kyoto targets. On April 13, 2006, she stopped Environment Canada scientist, Mark Tushingham, from speaking publicly about his novel. The novel was about the result of not acting on Climate Change. Ambrose was criticized by Bill Graham who was at the time Leader of the Opposition, on May 15, 2006 for chairing a UN conference on climate change despite admitting that Canada will not meet its Kyoto Protocol targets to reduce greenhouse gas emissions. In August 2006 she stated that although the population of spotted owls in British Columbia is only 17, she did not feel that they were threatened or needed any kind of special protection. Thankfully, on January 4, 2007, she was fired as Minister of the Environment. The Conservative Government officially refered to this as just another Cabinet Shuffle, to down play her failure.
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