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| - Mordecai: Okay. (rubs eyes) Ready? Rigby: (rubs eyes) Give me a second! (blinks) Ready. Mordecai: Stare! Rigby: Ooh, I think you gonna blink! Mordecai: Yeah, right. Rigby: Ha! (longer silence. Rigby starts sweating, then, he pulls out a laser pointer) Pschoooo! Mordecai: Hey, no laser pointers! That's not regulation! Rigby: Street rules, man! Benson: What are you doing? I asked you to wash the truck 20 minutes ago! I can't trust you guys to do anything! Mordecai: Uh, we were just taking a break! (M&R go back to washing the truck.) Benson: Ugh. (walks off, but then, decides to turn around to see if M&R are still working. But no. They're back to their staring contest.) I-- Infomercial VO: Bosses! Are you sick of slackers? Benson: Yeah. Infomercial VO: Is this a familiar sight? (The TV shows two cafe workers asleep.) Infomercial VO: Well, turn this... (slackers are now working hard, with many cameras surrounding them) ...to this! Peeps! Get your workers to work harder! Manager: Thanks, Peeps! Infomercial VO: Now with 4 different levels! (the captions "Mooch Master", "Slack Pack" and "Bum Blitz" appear as the levels are said) Level 1, Level 2, Level 3, and for the ultimate in worker productivity... (cut to another caption. The words appear as said:) Jeepers Peepers X-Infinity, with a Peeps lifetime guarantee! Act now and get the Peeps lens cleaning kit, free! Call now! Cleaning can be extremely flammable. Offer not valid or void. Peeps may be illegal in your country or province. Requires sign... Benson: Hey, you two! Mordecai: Oh, uh, hey Benson. We were just getting back to work. Benson: It's okay, Mordecai. I trust you. Mordecai: Really? Benson: Of course I do, because now I have this! (assembles the Mooch Master) Say hello to Peeps. It's a surveillance system. Now I'll be able to see what you're up to all the time, 24/7, 365. Isn't that great? (throws rag to Mordecai and hands bucket to Rigby) Well, I'll let you guys finish your work. And remember, I'm watching you! (whistles) Rigby: Dude, I don't think Benson trusts us at all. Mordecai: Of course he doesn't. He just put a camera in front of us. Rigby: What's the big deal, anyway? I mean, we were working. We're gonna get it done. Mordecai: Come on. We'll show him. We'll get this done in no time. Rigby: Dude, forget this. Let's just finish our staring contest. Mordecai: We can't. Benson's watching us. Benson: You gotta check this out, Skips. Those slackers are finally working. Yep, Peeps is working like a charm. Skips: Why is there a jet outside? Benson: Huh? (A crude drawing of M&R washing the car and a jet saying "You guys are doing great" is shown.) What?! (cut to outside. Benson sees the paper covering the lens and rips it off) RAUGGH! Mordecai: Oh! Benson, uh-- Benson: Get back to work! Now! (M&R quickly get back to washing the car. Benson goes over to call Peeps) I'm gonna take those slackers to level 2. Phone operator: You have reached Peeps. Please hold. (clock transition to coffee shop. M&R are now wearing the Slack Pack. Mordecai's camera gets caught, but he moves it in to proceed with Rigby) Mordecai: This. Sucks. Rigby: I know! Mine's really chaffing me. Mordecai: Well, at least we're on break. We can finish our staring contest. Rigby: Yeah, it's on. Mordecai: Ugh, this is lame. Margaret: Next. Hey guys! What's with the cameras? Mordecai: These? Um, we're making an Indie documentary. Margaret: Whoa, that's cool! Mordecai: Yeah, it's pretty obscure arthouse stuff. Rigby: It's so Indie, only one dude's gonna see it. Margaret: What's it called? Benson: (over microphone) It's called "Slackers 2: The Return of Mordecai and Rigby To Their Jobs". Break's over! Mordecai: Uh, I guess we'll take two lattes. Benson: (over microphone) To go! Pop​s: Ooh! What a fancy new fangled giga! How does it work? Benson: Pops, come here and i'll show you. It's called Peeps. This window here is hooked up to a camera on Rigby and this one is hooked up to Mordecai. It's foolproof. They'll never slack off again! Pops: Hmm? Oh, I meant that! (plays with computer mouse) Benson: Wow! I can't believe they've been working for 3 hours! Pops: 3 hours? They deserve an award! Benson: Good idea. Time to bust out the Employee Incentives. I hope these babies are still good. (pulls out coupon) Pops: Ooh! Luigi's One Free Personal Pizza with purchase of equal or greater pizza! Benson: Let's go! Pops: Mordecai and Rigby, we've got coupons! Benson: What the? (dishes are still dirty. pan over to a TV showing a split-screen of dishwashing, with the Slack Packs pointed at two different sides. Benson ejects the tape from the TV) World Dishwashing Championship 1982?! Rigby: You blinked! Mordecai: You wish! Benson: That's it! I gotta make a phone call. (Begin a montage of the Bum Blitz cameras. Mordecai is asleep, and wakes up to a camera. Mordecai screams, then, we see that the whole bedroom has cameras all over it. Mordecai removes his sheets to reveal that there are even cameras under his sheet) Mordecai: Rigby! Rigby: (bonks head against camera) Oww! (from lens) What the? Benson: Ha! Mordecai: Crap!. (M&R eat breakfast under the watchful eyes of the cameras. Later, they are also seen driving the cart, also camera-equipped. Cameras are even seen in the bathroom, four of which are seen on a toilet) Mordecai: Dude, this has to stop. (Benson's office, night. M&R sneak in. Benson is asleep at his desk.) Mordecai: Did you bring the hacking device? (Rigby pulls out a canister filled with coffee from a sack. Mordecai drinks some of it) Ahhhhhh. (In one move, Mordecai spills coffee onto the keyboard, shutting off all the cameras. Benson wakes up to see the mess) Benson: Huh? What the?! (M&R run out of the room. Benson sees the canister on the ground) AAAGGGHHH! Phone operator: Peeps Surveillance Systems. Benson: Yeah. Upgrade me to Jeepers Peepers X-Infinity! NOW! Phone operator: I'm sorry, sir, but that requires a signature (Benson grimaces in frustration) on our lifetime contract. (Puts down the phone and rips a few pages in manual then throwing it down and violently sliding it off the desk) Benson: All right, whatever! Just make it happen! Phone operator: One moment, please. Benson: There! Phone operator: Thank you for choosing Peeps Surveillance Systems. (contract disappears into thin air) Have a nice day. Benson: AAAH! What are you?! Peeps Eyeball: I'm Peeps. Mordecai: Benson! This has gone too far! Skips: Yeah. I can't work. Pops: I haven't been able to sleep in a fortnight! Muscle Man: I've been so stressed that I'm losing muscle mass! Benson: I know guys. I'm gonna take care of this mess. Peeps! Hey Peeps! Peeps Eyeball: (teleports right to Benson) Yes? Benson: Listen, Peeps. You're creeping everybody out. You've got to go. Peeps Eyeball: I'm here to stay. If you've read the lifetime guarantee that you signed, I'm going to watch you 24/7, 365, until you die. Benson: GRAAAH! (rips contract to pieces) Peeps Eyeball: That's cool. I made copies! Mordecai: Peeps? We've got a proposition for you. Peeps Eyeball: Oh yeah, what? Mordecai: A staring contest. (Skips, Hi Five Ghost, Muscle Man and Pops doubt Mordecai) If we win you have to leave the park. Peeps Eyeball: Ha ha! Are you kidding me? You don't stand a chance. Rigby: You're the one that doesn't have a chance, you giant eyesack! Peeps Eyeball: Fine. But if I win, I'm taking your eyes. All of your eyes. (pulls out spoon and needle on the gang) Mordecai: Accepted. Benson: Wait, you guys can't even do the dishes. How can I trust you to win? Mordecai: It's true, Benson. You can't trust us to do the dishes or wash the truck. Rigby: And you really can't trust us not to fart in your coffee when you're not looking. Benson: What?! Mordecai: Nothing. But what you can trust us is at pointless skills during work time. Benson: Wow. I really can't argue with that. I guess it's our only chance. Peeps Eyeball: So, which one of you is it gonna be then? Rigby: Mordecai, you should do it. You're a way better starer than me. Ice this fool! Peeps Eyeball: Mordecai, your eyeballs are mine. Skips: Ready, set, stare! Rigby: Peeps is gonna blink! You got this, Mordecai! (a little eyeball comes out of Peeps' back and rubs his big eye. Everyone gasps and Benson nearly pukes but he puts his hands over his mouth to stop it.) Rigby: Hey, that's cheating! Peeps Eyeball: I'm not blinking, am I? Rigby: Hmph. Peeps Eyeball: (dozens of his eyes come out) Don't blink! Don't blink, don't blink, don't blink, don't blink, don't blink, don't blink, don't blink. Don't blink! HA HA HA HA-- (laughs, and then, all of a sudden Rigby shoots one of his eyes with a laser pointer) Ow! Hey, that's cheating! Rigby: You cheated first! Now it's time to kiss your greasy eye sacks good night! Peeps Eyeball: My retinas! They burn! Mordecai: Hey, Peeps! Don't blink! Peeps Eyeball: This isn't a regulation, you know. Rigby: Street rules, man! Peeps Eyeball: AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!! (Peeps jumps into the lake, letting out steam. Wipe transition to Peeps being saved by an ambulance as others watch) Peeps Eyeball: All I see is darkness. Benson: Get out and stay out! And you two, I hope you learned something from all this. Rigby: Yeah, make sure we do our chores so you don't nark on us to a giant eyeball. Muscle Man: I learned that Mordecai can go for a really long time without blinking. Mordecai: Actually, my eyes won't blink anymore. (the others go "oooooh" in shock) Uh... does anybody have any eyedrops? (Rigby gives him eye drops. Mordecai lets a drop over his eye, but it evaporates before touching it and he still wouldn't blink) Mordecai: Take me to the hospital.
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