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| - Leia had the unsettling feeling that somehow her life was not her own anymore, but instead she watched the happenings from a great distance, like a holodrama, with no effect on the outcome. Even so, the coldness in her limbs was very real, and iced all the way to her heart. She was empty, she was cold; she was afraid. Very slowly she pulled her legs up from the deck and into the pilot’s couch with her until her chin rested on her knees. She wrapped her arms around them tightly and shut her eyes from the blur of hyperspace before her. Her breath came in shallow, rapid gasps. The ends of her fingers were raw and throbbed in pain. Again, she recalled in the vague sense of a distant spectator a series Force lightning attacks. Leia didn’t believe that part. She couldn’t, for if she did she had no doubt she would go mad. Maybe she was crazy already. She didn’t know anymore. Did the insane know they were mentally unstable? It was an unanswerable and frightening question. Leia squeezed her eyes more tightly closed. There was no comfort in the darkness of her mind, however. She heard the terrifying mechanical breath of her father, and saw the ghastly black mask looming like a dark sun on the horizon. No matter what she did, there was no escaping her destiny. Perhaps it had always been her destiny. She had feared it so much that for a time she had refused to have children, troubled by the possibility that they could become something monstrous. It had never occurred to her that it might be herself that she should fear for. No, Luke was the Jedi. He was the one who faced the evil in the hearts of their enemies, she only conquered their political side. When their parents had bequeathed any hereditary gifts, Luke had received the ‘Force gene’. It just wasn’t part of who she was and so could never tempt her with power like it could him. How wrong she had been. Even when she had known to the very depths of her being that it was wrong to give in to her hate, she had done it. And it had been such a sweet thing, like Alderaanian lilies in the morning, still covered in dew. That was the core of her internal debate. The part of herself that watched from outside balked at what she had done was horrified. The other half, the part that savored in the power she now knew with a certainty, reveled in her victory over Cale. He is the monster! it seemed to cry. He got what he deserved! Who had ever been so justified in using the dark side before? No one, she was sure. Leia let her head lull backwards against the headrest and groaned. There was no end to the question. She would never be able to justify completely what she had done, and worse, wasn’t sure she cared enough to. What was done was done, and a great part of her had no regrets. His death had been a balm to her hurts. Except for the scar she would carry for the rest of her life. One hand clutched at the piece of cloth over her abdomen. A baby wasn’t something that would heal with time, but would be a constant reminder of her past and what was most likely an irremovable wedge between Han and her. In short, it would ruin her life. Yet even in the clutches of darkness she found herself too cowardly to kill herself or destroy it. The malice in her would not direct itself toward the baby, who was blameless. The child growing inside her was her baby, a piece of her that she owed at least a chance at life. She would not take the soul of an innocent. Something chimed in the silence and Leia raised her head to see a matching light flashing. She was at Alderaan. A trembling hand took hold of the lever and eased it back. An asteroid field greeted her. The Graveyard was all that was left of her home. She had hoped that the remains might bring back a piece of herself, of who she had been. Perhaps she could anchor herself to that and draw herself slowly back to the light. Instead, she felt only a new surge of anger. Heat flared her nostrils. For an instant she was standing on the bridge of the Death Star while Governor Tarkin and Lord Vader obliterated her home before her eyes. Her own father had held her back while everyone she loved had died in a terrible blaze. Her whole body shook with this old outrage made anew. No. She stopped, focusing on that one word, that one thought. By letting go again she was only becoming the thing she hated. She had to stop and remember the person she really was. She was Leia Organa Solo. Her husband was Han Solo, hero and scoundrel. She had three children, Jaina, Jacen, and Anakin. There was her twin brother Luke, and sister-in-law Mara. She had been a Councilor, Ambassador, Chief of State, and Princess. Her whole life had been dedicated to preserving democracy and justice. Everything she was stood for the principle of freedom. Whatever her sufferings were, there were those who had and would suffer greater, especially if the Baci weren’t stopped. Something violent slammed into her small ship and her concentration broke. Anger seeped back in as her eyes roamed over the monitors and found several alien snubfighters closing in. Her brow darkened. They had come after her. After all they had done they now wanted to desecrate the burial ground of her people by shedding her blood there as well. “Like hell,” she muttered, and swung the prow of her craft back at the attackers. Leia had always been measured by her political and mental expertise, but when it came to combat the rest of her family were the ones that shone. She was an ant amidst giants. But just because one of them would have no problem shooting her out of the sky, that didn’t mean someone else would have it as easy. She was, after all, a Skywalker. The enemy vessels were roughly the size of an old Imperial TIE, but much different in appearance. They had the same half-elliptical shape as the Dintellion, like a primitive longbow stretched taut. It tapered from fore to aft, appearing as sharp and thin as a razor blade on its long vertical stern. The first shots bounced off her forward shields, which she found were ridiculously formidable. She hadn’t even activated any shields; she had no clue where they even were! And yet the red lances of energy slid off her hull like water droplets. Leia’s hands groped for something that looked like a firing switch. On her left, beside the helm, was something that resembled the gadget. She grabbed it with one hand, watched a crosshairs on one of her monitors go green, and fired. The bottom half of the first ship blew away in a cloud of fire and dust, and it was only then Leia saw that the fin-like projections were akin to steering vanes. Instead of killing or crippling her prey, she had only hampered its movement. She cursed, locked on again—while dodging the second round of attacks—and squeezed the trigger. This time her opponent wasn’t so lucky. His wingmates divided, three sweeping in at her from the port side and four from starboard. Leia pulled back on the stick and sent the small vessel in a relative upward spiral. The portside attackers made the turn, but the starboard had been too close and flew straight through her exhaust trail before whirling back in her direction. The ship took a hard hit very near the engine compartment, pitching Leia around like a rag doll. She gritted her teeth against another wave of anger. Still the Force sang inside her, taking her hands and jerking them this way and that on the controls. She was flying wildly, madly, with reckless abandon that seemed illogical until something blew apart. Something started pinging. She had been hit. How and where she didn’t know, but of a sudden her shields were gone. Leia cursed and scanned the instrument that passed for a navicomputer. There were almost no systems already programmed in, and Alderaan and Coruscant were the only ones she felt confident that she knew by heart. Huh. There was one in there that she was sure she recognized, even though there were no names to it. Another hit rattled her teeth and opened a vacuum leak in a rear compartment. She closed the airlocks—what she hoped were airlocks—and fired a spray of lasers at an enemy flying over her head. It burst into flames and crashed into a nearby asteroid. There was no choice, she realized. She had to get out before they blew apart her hyperdrive. Then there would be no hope. Nervous but with an impulse that might have been from the Force, she loaded the coordinates and pulled back on the hyperspace lever. Realspace was left far behind. Leia chewed at her lower lip, thinking through her next move. It wasn’t the most desirable of locations, with a history for her a lot like Bespin. She prayed this trip would end a little better. She really had no desire to die on Tatooine.
* * * “Where is she?” The subordinate blinked, and a bead of sweat rolled down into his eyes. Cale was seized with the undeniable urge to just break something, and this ensign’s face seemed as good a choice as any. After only two blows the idiot lay crumpled on the floor, bleeding and whimpering. Cale’s angry eyes swung to the other members of his staff standing on the outer edges of his office. “Well? Is anyone going to clean that up?” They jumped to it immediately, hauling the broken underling into an outer office space. Cale wiped the away the spittle that had gathered at the corner of his mouth and swung to face Zeya. “I suppose you have an oh-so-wise comment to make now?” She let a frustrated sigh escape her. “It’s been a long time since you lost control like that. Since we were that ensign’s age,” one ivory finger gestured at the open door. “That’s not the kind of behavior they’re going to respect. And you know better. That’s the problem.” He glared at her. Why was it that his cousin always managed to make him feel like the inferior in their conversations? “You’re full of hrukruk dung.” “So we’re regressing to name calling as well?” she wasn’t even fazed. “For the Channel’s sake, grow up.” “I want her dead, Zeya! If I can’t keep her here where I have control of the child, I want her dead. There’s no telling what lies she’ll feed my son.” Cale crossed his arms over his chest and brooded. “If she keeps the baby at all,” Zeya reminded him. After seeing that he was being strangely unresponsive to her constructive criticism, she assumed a more nurturing position. “Cale, you are like my brother and I hate seeing you in this kind of turmoil. I know killing that woman will soothe your pride, but it won’t fix the bigger problem. You still don’t have an heir, and the clans are still restless. They don’t want these annoying little unruly natives popping up to cause us trouble. We have to act on them now, and worry about Leia later.” He swallowed hard, his mind working. “What if there’s a way to achieve both?” “How?” He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, a sly grin creeping over his lips. “Her husband and brother are at the core of this army they’ve raised. They will surely want her back.” Zeya’s features became as brilliant as the stars with the revelation. A satisfied smile eased onto her face. “I knew there was some reason I fought for your promotion. You brilliant devil! You’re going to use her as bait!” He shrugged, quite pleased with himself. “As soon as we find out where she is we can pin her down until she has to call for help. Then when all the little mutineers run to help, we engage them in battle—” “With only a portion of the fleet!” she finished, adding on to his plan. He eyed her curiously, trying to read her mind. “Nothing fancy. Just enough to keep them distracted…” He caught on quick. “I like it. Have it done, immediately. And find Leia. I want that to be the top priority.” “I can find her,” Zeya shrugged. “Do not worry.” “How?” he demanded. “That ship only had half a dozen safe routes to known star systems in its coordinator. We pick the one she would be most likely to run to.” “Pull up our star charts,” he commanded. Zeya went to sit behind his desk where she could manipulate the room settings. The lights dimmed, and from the projector on the desk leaped an incomplete map of the galaxy, the different systems only a pinprick of light in the three dimensional cluster. Her hand moved inside the hologram, pointing to a few planets on the edge of the galactic sphere. “The ship she stole was a reconnaissance vessel for this area of space. It was charged with mapping out the safe routes and giving brief descriptions of the habitable planets. These,” she drew and invisible circle with her finger around a group of stars, “were all plotted in her coordinator.” “What are their names?” Cale queried. “Zhar, Ryloth, Tatooine, Roon—” “Wait, what was the third one again?” the part of his mind that still carried Leia’s memories had jumped in recognition of that name. “Tatooine,” she repeated, casting him a searching look. “There,” he stated confidently, crossing his arms over his chest. “That’s where she’s gone. I want an entire battle group to encircle that planet and make sure no one gets out. When her friends arrive we’ll have our skirmish, and our distraction.”
* * * Leia’s stolen vessel was on its last legs when she exited hyperspace in the Tatoo system. The sublight engines were all but gone, and she would be hard pressed to even land the blasted thing safely, let alone escape. She had a moment of brittle irony as she imagined herself dwelling the rest of her days in a hermitage in the Jundland Wastes like Obi-Wan had, only this time she would be watching after a very different, but just as potentially dangerous, child. Taooine was controlled by the Hutts, so there was no planetary defense platform she had to get authorization from. She simply pointed the bow of her ship at an area just on the outskirts of Bestine, the capital. Reentry was rough, the harsh winds and abnormally high temperatures shaking her damaged vessel until she was sure it would rip apart before they broke atmosphere. She gasped in audible relief when the dry dunes appeared before her. She landed much more smoothly than she had expected, mostly due to her deep concentration in the Force. It had taken hold of her again during the battle at Alderaan, singing a siren song in her ear like a lullaby. But once the ship had touched down she felt a measure of self return to her brain, as if the twin suns were powerful enough to sweep away even her confusion. Leia remained inside the ship, just sitting and debating, for almost a standard hour after touchdown. There were very few options open to her. She could travel to Bestine in search of parts for her ship or purchase of a new one. Problem there was that she had no money. She could steal one or barter for passage offworld, but in her current state of mind wasn’t sure that anyone would take her on. As for stealing, she had pulled out of the clutches of the dark side enough that it wasn’t a preferable option at that moment. So she had the other option of building a hut somewhere to go and waste away in, or she could send a transmission home. Her fingernails drummed nervously on the control panel. They would have to find out eventually, but she had hoped to compose some sort of forgivable tale before then, or at least find freedom from the dark side. But there was no excuse Han would ever accept and the darkness lurked just on the edges of her psyche. If she was ever going to be free from its oppression she was going to need the help of someone more experienced than she. She needed Luke. There was comfort when she thought about him. Her twin would forgive her. He was the most forbearing man she had ever met. She would not lose him because of this tragedy, and he would help her come back to the light. Luke had no stake in her fidelity, and so her pregnancy would not hold the same betrayal for him as it would with Han and the children. No, she would not lose all of her family. She made her decision, and dialed up a comm frequency for his apartments on Yavin IV.
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