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| - Muscle Man: Hey, hear me out. All I'm saying is that it's hard to make a New Year's resolution when you're always bringing your "A" game. Mordecai: Tch! Come on, you gotta have a resolution for new years. Muscle Man: Hmm. I guess I can put in more time on my amazing muscles. I'll really get these kittens to purr next year. Hi Five Ghost: I think I would like to learn a second language. What about you, Thomas? Thomas: I'm going to try to help my mom more next year. Muscle Man: Not cool, bro. That resolution is legit. Eileen: Here are your coffees, guys. Rigby: Yo Eileen, you got a resolution? Eileen: Well, I would like to work on my craft blog more, but I won't have time until we get a new waitress around here. Man: (Off-screen) Can I get a refill? Eileen: Later. Rigby: Ugh! Let's talk about real resolutions. This year is going to be the year of the Rigby. I'm keeping it all Rigby, all the time. Mordecai: What does that even mean? Your'e just picking something vague so you can't fail at it. Rigby: No; last year didn't have much Rigby, this year is going to be Rigby crazy! Mordecai: I don't know, last year was pretty crazy. Rigby: That's just cause Margaret dumped you. Mordecai: Aw, dude! Come on! Rigby: What? I'm just keeping it Rigby. Muscle Man: So, you gonna turn around your lady luck this year? Mordecai: Yeah. As a matter of fact, I am. This year, no more waiting to wuss out. If I see a cute girl, I'll just talk to her. Muscle Man: So, when are we meeting up for the New Year's Eve party? Thomas: What New Year's Eve party? Rigby: It's one of those parties where you wear masks and stuff. Mordecai: A Masquerade? Rigby: Yeah, whatever. Like I said, you wear masks. Muscle Man: Yo, bro. She's pretty smoking. Mordecai: Yeah. Uh, I mean what? Rigby: You should go talk to her, man. Muscle Man: Come on, dude. Come on. Mordecai: Uh, I don't really think--. Everyone: Come on, dude! Rigby: Come on, dude. You got this. No problem. Mordecai: Yeah. All right. I got this. Rigby: What are they saying? Muscle Man: I don't know, bro. Be quiet. Thomas: She's smiling a lot. Hi Five Ghost: Shh! Shh! He's coming back. How did it go? Mordecai: (Sighs) I got her digits! Thomas: So, are you gonna call her? Mordecai: Yeah. I think I'll ask her to the New Year's party tomorrow. Muscle Man: Nice. Rigby: Looks like we need a round of victory coffees! But first, I need to empty the tank. Future Rigby: R-R-Rigby! Rigby: Ahh! Future Rigby: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Chill, dude. It's just me, I mean you. Look, I'm you from the future. Rigby: What the--? Were you in the stall the whole time?! Future Rigby: Gross! No! I got something to tell you. You have to help Mordecai. He's going to kiss a girl at New Years and you have to stop him. Rigby: That sounds like the opposite of helping him. Are you really me from the future? Future Rigby: Come on! You have to trust me! Rigby: Oh, yeah? Prove it! If you're from the future, then what's my New Year's resolution? Future Rigby: Year of the Rigby, baby! Rigby: Whoa! You are me from the future! Future Rigby: Yeah, I know. Rigby: Okay, so what's the deal about this New Year's kiss again? Future Rigby: Okay, so it's going to happen like this. Tomorrow at the New Year's mask party, Pops is going to open a bottle of sparkling apple juice too early, then Muscle Man is going to streak in a diaper, and then right after that, Mordecai is going to kiss a girl he shouldn't kiss. You gotta stop that kiss! Rigby: Okay, but why? Future Rigby: Sorry dude, future rules say I can't tell you. But--. Future phone: Insert five credits to continue the hologramic call. Future Rigby: Wait! Trust me! It's the only way he'll be happy! Rigby: Uhhhhh... Muscle Man: Happy New Year, bro! Whoo hoo! Mordecai: Dude, have you seen that girl's phone number? I thought I put it on the nightstand, but I can't find it. Rigby: Uh, what did it look like? Mordecai: Like a bunch a numbers next to a girl's name. Rigby: Oh, that phone number! Nope, haven't seen it. Mordecai: Rigby, where's the number? Rigby: Look, you don't need to be mad, but I might have thown it away. Mordecai: What?! What's wrong with you? Ugh! Rigby: Hey, just calm down. My future self told me this is the right thing to do. Mordecai: Oh, yeah; then where's this future self now? Rigby: Uh, he had to go; he ran out of credits. Future credits. Mordecai: Not cool, bro. Rigby: Come on, we'll go to the party with a group like we planned. It'll be fun. Mordecai: Alright. It's not like I'm going to see that number again, anyway. Mordecai (continued): Hello? Oh, hey, Tracy. Yeah yeah, of course I remember you, from the coffee shop. No, no, I was totally gonna call you; I just didn't know if I had to wait like a day or two or two and a half. But, um, yeah, I was wondering if you wanted to, if you don't have plans, to go to this New Year's masquerade party tonight? With me, I mean. Mordecai (continued): Cool. So, should I pick you up? Muscle Man: Yo, Rigby; check it out. I'm gonna prank in the New Year right. I'm making these tear-away tuxedo pants, so I can streak at midnight. Muscle Man (continued): Fives, time. Hi Five Ghost: Point forty-five seconds. Muscle Man: Still not fast enough. Rigby: (Makes a disgusted face) You're streaking at the New Year's party? (Gasps) Oh, no! Muscle Man: Whatever. Not everyone understands performance art. Rigby: Skips! I have to stop Mordecai from kissing this girl at midnight. Skips: Why? Rigby: Cause my future self appeared to me in the bathroom, and he told me all this stuff that's going to happen, and now it is happening, and all I know is it's really important! Skips: Hmm. Well, it sounds like the wheels of fate are already in motion, so... you're probably gonna fail. Rigby: What?! So, what do I do? Skips: Time traveling gets really complicated, and my advice is to not overthink it. See you at the party. Rigby: Aghhhhhh! Rigby (continued): Benson, have you seen Mordecai? Benson: Yeah, he came in a while ago with his date. She seems pretty nice, yeah. Rigby: No! Ahhhh! Rigby (continued): Mordecai? Pops! Have you seen Mordecai? Pops: Oh, Rigby; how did you know it was me? (Laughs) Oh, before I forget, make sure you get your sparkling apple juice. Rigby: Oh, no! Tracy: So, you work and live at the park. Mordecai: Yeah; it's pretty cool. Uh, hey, do you know what this party reminds me of? Tracy: Uh, what? Mordecai: Well you know that video game where you're spying that four anemasie, and you have to fight all the zombies? Tracy: I wasn't allowed to play video games as a kid. Mordecai: What? You gotta be kidding me. (Laughs) So, what are you into? Tracy: Texting, some social media. Mordecai: I'm gonna get us some punch. Rigby: Mordecai! Tracy: (On the phone) Ugh! This date is the worst! I thought he was eccentric, but he's just weird. The good news is when Tommy finds out I'm with another guy, he'll be so jealous. We're totally getting back together. Rigby: Aw, future me totally called it. Mordecai: Here's your punch. Rigby: (Rigby knocks down the punch) Dude, no! Mordecai: Ugh! Rigby; what are you doing? Rigby: You can't kiss that girl! She said you were "electric" and weird, and she's just using you to get back with Tommy! Mordecai: That's it! Rigby: She's the wrong girl! You have to listen to me! Mordecai: No, dude; will you quit messing with me?! I think I have a chance at this! Rigby: Aghhh! You can't do this! My future self told me this is important! Mordecai: Oh, the future self you met in the bathroom? Right. Rigby: No! (Grabs onto Mordecai's leg) Don't kiss her! Mordecai: Get off of me! Rigby: No! Wait! Mordecai: I hope you enjoy spending the year of the Rigby alone! Future Rigby: R-R-Rigby! Rigby: Dude, why are you always showing up in the bathroom? Future Rigby: (Shrugs) I just get better reception. Anyway, what are you doing in here? You're running out of time. Rigby: Me? What are you doing in here? I could've used you out there when I was trying to convince Mordecai. He wouldn't believe me, and now it's almost midnight! Future Rigby: Alright, alright, here's something to help you. Future Rigby (continued): This stopwatch will slow down time for about sixty seconds. It will buy you some time to stop the kiss. Rigby: Great, but how am I supposed to get outta here in time to use it? DJ: Alright everybody, the ball is dropping on my watch, which means it's time to countdown for the New Year. Rigby: (Rigby climbs up to the air vent) Uh, I guess I'll see you later? Future Rigby: Not unless you screw up something royal. Rigby: Nooooooo! Huh? DJ: Happy New Year! Rigby: Did I make it? Tommy: (Wearing a mask that represents Mordecai's face) Get off me, punk! Rigby: Huh? Tracy: Oh, Tommy; are you alright? Tommy: Tracy Hashtag, you're the best. Rigby: Wait, what? Mordecai: Hey. Rigby: Mordecai! Mordecai: So I figured out who Tommy was. You were right, dude. I should've listened to you. Sorry for locking you in the bathroom. Rigby: So that means--? You didn't--? I did it! Whoo! Year of the Rigby! Mordecai: (Bumps into a girl whose head represents a cloud) Oh, uh sorry. CJ: No worries. Running to meet your date? I get it. Mordecai: Actually, the date thing didn't plan out tonight. CJ: Oh, I know how that goes. CJ (continued): You know, while the clock isn't over yet, we can still make the best of this. Mordecai: Huh? DJ: And let's greet the New Year with a fresh face. Everyone, take off your mask! Mordecai: CJ? CJ: Mordecai? Mordecai: Uh...? Rigby: Aw, what?! So, does that mean--? Did I--? I gotta check the bathroom. Mordecai: CJ? Muscle Man: Whooo! Happy New Year! Whoo hoo!
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