About: Radical Republicans

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While most know of the disputes over slavery that drove apart North and South, few acknowledge the way more bodacious conflicts of the era. Perhaps the most divisive battle was over the nation's boardwalks. The Southerners, fearing being run into by skaters of both the inline and board varieties during their boardwalking, outlawed moving while on top of wheels on all boardwalks, in the North as well as the South. Radical republicans were outraged. "This is, like, way not cool," said Salmon Chase in one of his speeches to Congress. "We're like, into boarding or inline and we wanna do that, you know, wherever."

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rdfs:label	Radical Republicans
rdfs:comment	While most know of the disputes over slavery that drove apart North and South, few acknowledge the way more bodacious conflicts of the era. Perhaps the most divisive battle was over the nation's boardwalks. The Southerners, fearing being run into by skaters of both the inline and board varieties during their boardwalking, outlawed moving while on top of wheels on all boardwalks, in the North as well as the South. Radical republicans were outraged. "This is, like, way not cool," said Salmon Chase in one of his speeches to Congress. "We're like, into boarding or inline and we wanna do that, you know, wherever."
dcterms:subject	History of the United States Awesome Politics of the United States American Civil War Extreme Republicans
dbkwik:uncyclopedi...iPageUsesTemplate	dbkwik:resource/-p1WJwBKpIZ6kc-pxCk3rQ==
Revision	4295061(xsd:integer)
Date	2009-12-28(xsd:date)
abstract	While most know of the disputes over slavery that drove apart North and South, few acknowledge the way more bodacious conflicts of the era. Perhaps the most divisive battle was over the nation's boardwalks. The Southerners, fearing being run into by skaters of both the inline and board varieties during their boardwalking, outlawed moving while on top of wheels on all boardwalks, in the North as well as the South. Radical republicans were outraged. "This is, like, way not cool," said Salmon Chase in one of his speeches to Congress. "We're like, into boarding or inline and we wanna do that, you know, wherever." The South's resolve was strong, on that and other issues as well. "We sincerely want nothing more than to be safe, which we hope to accomplish by banning skateboarding, load music, driving above 30 miles per hour, and remaining in a mall or similar commercial area for longer than 45 minutes. It's definitely not that we hate fun at all or anything like that, you stupid kids," said the response from Stephen A. Douglas. "And stay off my lawn!" he added. Unable to resolve the rising tensions, the Southerners began to contemplate secession. "Just think," speculated Jefferson Davis. "No more skate parks. No more loud music. No more fast food restaurants. No more radicals! And also the keeping slavery is nice. But can we talk about the skate parks? Man I hate those!" And in this way, the South spiraled toward secession, until, on Christmas Eve of 1860, the spiraling stopped, and the seceding began.

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