About: Babies: The Ugly Truth   Sponge Permalink

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Babies are by far the most obnoxious, smelly, noisy, unquestionably evil creatures ever created by our lord and master God - seriously. When not projecting their stomach contents at you like the demon from the Exorcist or screaming with a pitch that could shatter glass they content themselves with producing diapers that contain what often equates to a bio-terrorism lab. Yet try as we may our efforts are in vain as the baby always prevails in the end - in short babies are evil in it's purest form.

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  • Babies: The Ugly Truth
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  • Babies are by far the most obnoxious, smelly, noisy, unquestionably evil creatures ever created by our lord and master God - seriously. When not projecting their stomach contents at you like the demon from the Exorcist or screaming with a pitch that could shatter glass they content themselves with producing diapers that contain what often equates to a bio-terrorism lab. Yet try as we may our efforts are in vain as the baby always prevails in the end - in short babies are evil in it's purest form.
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  • Babies are by far the most obnoxious, smelly, noisy, unquestionably evil creatures ever created by our lord and master God - seriously. When not projecting their stomach contents at you like the demon from the Exorcist or screaming with a pitch that could shatter glass they content themselves with producing diapers that contain what often equates to a bio-terrorism lab. What's worse is we must feed, cloth and nuture these abominations day and night - their infernal screaming alerting us of our total inability to escape our fate as slaves to what is in essence one of nature's most prolific parasites. How does the unification of egg and sperm create such a dire fiend? God only knows - oh and you know how babies sleep a lot? it's a trap.. because the moment you try and get some sleep the little bugger will instantly wake up and scream. We try and exact vengeance on our tormentors by dressing them in ridiculous costumes, talking to them in "baby talk" (often as a desperate attempt to stop the thing screaming) and in our darkest hour we even allow the baby to be exposed to the horrors of the aunt and her constant need to pinch cheeks and kiss things. Yet try as we may our efforts are in vain as the baby always prevails in the end - in short babies are evil in it's purest form.
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