| abstract
| - The Wreck The inside of The Wreck is spacious and somewhat neat. The damage from the outside is mostly invisible from inside and it appears to definitely be a base. There is a monitoring station that hooks into Teletran and can also pick up Earth TV signals. A tactical holo-tank, of very old design, sits in the spacious cargo area surrounded by individual chairs, enough for the entire Wreckers team and one extra in case someone unexpected drops by. Mecha-Brontosaurus emerges from water and gives the ship door a tap with his foot. "Sludge come. Open up." ~THOOM~ Emerging from 'The Wreck', Impactor pushes the large metal door open...peering down the ramp at an angry Dinobot. "Hey, what in tha 'ell do you want? Oh wait, is today Tuesday?" The Wrecker's oversized hand slides up to his chin for a moment before he continues. "Well, git yer large aft in here then!" Impactor waves Sludge up with a hand, before turning back into the craft/building. Nosecone is here, despite not being a Wrecker. But he is a drilltank, so that counts for something! He greets Sludge with a nod. Jazz enters the The Wreck. First Aid rolls in on while in ambulance mode just as Impactor pushes open the door to The Wreck. The Protectobot doctor transforms into robot mode and waves to Impactor, Sludge, and those already arrived. "Hi Impactor, thanks for inviting me." He says in a cheerful tone. He gives The Wreck an appraising tone. "I guess the ship has seen better days, huh?" he asks sympathetically. First Aid runs his hand along the outer hull of the vessel, patting it as if to reassure the crashed spaceship that everything is going to be ok. Snapping out of the distraction, he says, "Oh, I almost forgot!" he kneels and rummages around in the trunk space in his lower legs, finally fishing out a large bottle-shaped canister. "Albertan oil, Impactor," he says, handing the gift of Transformer-wine over to the Wrecker. "2009. Apparently that was a good year." Mecha-Brontosaurus transforms into a more civilized mode, withdrawing a keg of Dinobot Island brand oil, and ascends the ramp entering The Wreck. "Huuuuuh. Me Sludge early. Other Dinobots not here yet." He puts the keg down, punctures it with a finger, and then picks it up again for a 'sip' of the prehistoric oil. He sets the keg down again, neglecting to announce it is for anybody and everybody. The Robo-Bronto transforms, from four legs, a tail and a long neck to just your average ordinary everyday robot of humanoid shape and super-duper size. Yes, I said super-duper. As Impactor walks through the spacious and neat open room, he struts past various tables set up with refreshments and snacks. The purple Autobot gestures towards the items for his guests, then meanders his way over towards the television. Rack 'N Ruin are currently in control of the remote, well one of them at a time anyways. "Hey you gearhead, I wanna watch wrestiling. Triple H the third is debuting tonight!" Rack shouts, knocking his brother on the head with his anvil. Ruin throws the hammer into his twin's gut, "Wrestling sucks, it's all fake! UFC is on, Rock Besner is going to dominate!!" Before long, they're wrestling on the floor and the channel get's switched to 'Lion King on ice'. Whirl enters the The Wreck. First Aid coughs, "Uh, I'll just put this on the table then...?" he tells Impactor in a questioning tone. He puts the cannister down on one of the refreshment tables and enters The Wreck. Broadside tugs along the ocean, having dragged several 'bots along to have, quote, the best time of your wimpy, slaggin' sorry lives. Of course he complains about saltwater the whole way, and performs a clumsy dock near the Wreck, "A'ight, everyone off!" Nosecone is already partaking of the many snacks available. The laid-back Technobot smiles at everyone in attendance. Though he does spare a wry glance for Rack N' Ruin. Impactor nods towards First Aid, "Yes yes, that'll do fine. HEY YOUSE TWO, CUT IT OUT!!" Fireflight has no idea what hes doing here but he comes nonetheless. The Aerialbot walks in and smiles to everyong and then finds a spot out of everyones way and just looks around. Tonight looks like its going to be fun but hes not sure about the possible destruction caused by a 'happy' Dinobot before its over. Whirl follows after Impactor, but then begins bustling around to rearrange the refreshments, make sure there's enough energon chips, and distribute little TF-sized cocktail plates around the area in easy reach of party bots. My, how domestic! Jazz walks into the Wreck's doorway with his trademark smile "Who called this a party? We can't hear the music more than 50 yards away!" he says jokingly "How's everyone doing?" The Autobot pats First Aid on the shoulder as he makes his way inside "I always think you work too much. Glad to see you can take a break and chill form time to time." Fairway comes ashore, walking with his backstrut straight and a sour expression glooming up his faceplate. He knows what he's in store for, and he is feeling anxious about it. He doesn't like parties, and he doesn't imbibe intoxicants too often. "Friend Broadside," he says, "I thank you for your invitation. I hope you won't be offended if I spend most of the time in the corner..." He approaches the Wreck and enters cautiously, half expecting a bottle of some foul liquid to come flying in his direction. "Eh? Aw, naw, you'll have fun brainybot," Broadside assures, and trudges in after Fairway, heading straight for the television. "Ohoo..." he rumbles at Rack 'N Ruin, reaching down to bat them out of the way, "Move your afts, ain't watchin' no sissy Lion King." Confiscating the remote, he flips it to As the Kitchen Sinks, "It's the finale!" First Aid finishes arranging the Transformer-wine on the refreshment table, careful not to get in Impactor or Whirl's way. They're the hosts, after all. The doctor chuckles at Jazz's comment and replies, "I find my work relaxing, most of the time. This poor ship has taken such a beating yet she keeps on giving, even in her current state. I can't help but think that we could probably spruce her up a bit." First Aid's gaze sweeps the interior of The Wreck. Sludge cloddingly moves towards the television, staring at the Lion King on Ice. "Ooooooh....." And then it disappears. He pauses, staring at whatever is on now. He keeps staring... then his palm goes to the screen. "Where animal people skating go?" Rack 'N Ruin look at each other, double taking even. In unison, "Oh /hell/ no!" They jump the much larger Wrecker, attempting to wrestle him to the ground. Combat: Rack 'N Ruin compares their Strength to Broadside's Strength: Success! Fairway sneaks in, arms at his sides, and approaches Impactor. "Good evening, friend," he smiles, "This looks like a good time, yes? Thank you for inviting me. I wonder . . . may do you have any bitters or soda water?" "Sunnuvaglitch!" Broadside yelps as he's abruptly (but not surprisingly) assaulted. The big mech goes down, narrowly avoiding crushing Jazz and just stays there, grumbling. The channel somehow gets flipped back to skating animal people. "Someone hand me some high grade." Impactor is scanning around, making sure nothing get's broken. "Broadside, don't stoop to their level!" he scowls at the triple-changer, before looking to Fairway. "Oh ya, blame..err thank Whirl. I didn't invite ya." The Wrecker leader comes over to Jazz, "Hey, we ain't payin ya to DJ this gig if you ain't gonna provide some tunes!" First Aid turns towards the TV. "Oooh, season finale! I missed it earlier!" It's clear which way First Aid is voting on the channel situation. He doesn't get involved in the Wrecker wrasslin' between Rack 'N Ruin and Broadside, though. He moves towards one of the empty chairs. Standing up, the Wrecker twins walk over towards Fireflight. "Hey flyboy, what you doin' here?" Rack asks. Ruin is too busy staring at his manifold to respond right away. Sludge removes his hand from the screen and steps back, lowering to sit on the floor. Transfixed for the moment on exploitation on ice. Topspin enters the The Wreck. Fireflight looks at Rack and Ruin, "Im here because I can be." he says lightly. Swoop enters the The Wreck. Broadside seizes the remote and flips it back to As the Kitchen Sinks. "See, First Aid's got good taste. Sorry Sludge, maybe it'll be still be on afterwards." "Ain't that purdy?" Ruin mutters, touching the MANifold with his anvil-hand. "Hey, stop touchin' the flybot...we might get a disease!" Rack shoots back at his conjoined brother. It's not long until they're rolling around on the ground again, bickering and arguing like small children over a toy. Apparently Fireflight is the new toy. Jazz nods at Impactor "Oh you are on!" and proceeds to transform into his stylish vehicule mode. A huge pair of Trace Elliot speakers slide out on the sides of the car. "Let's start this selection with something up-beat." That being said 'Rock this party' by Bob Sinclair starts blaring out of the speakers with a...surprisingly clean sound for such volume. Yeah Jazz only buys the best when it comes to music. Jazz leaps into the air and folds down on himself and into a stylish white Porsche 935. Fairway shrugs and frowns a bit. He then proceeds to get himself a glass, and fill it with soda water. He ats a little dot of bitters, making the whole mixture coppery in color. This concoction he sips disaffectedly as he props himself against a wall and stares at the TV, not really seeing what's on. "ME SWOOP AM READY TO PARTY!" Everyone's favorite Dinobot (after Sludge, Snarl, Slag, and Grimlock) arrives! You can tell he's truely ready to party down because he has a party hat tied to his crest. It reads 'PARTY ANIMAL' on it in sparkly colours. Fireflight looks at the wecker twins and seems rather taken back at what they did and what they said. But before he can say anything the two are off wrestling each other on the floor. What an odd pair of Autobots, Fireflight thinks to himself and looks around again. Seems more mechs have come in and noticing Fairway he nods too him. First Aid sits in the chair and looks over at Broadside, "I've been dying to know what happens to Julia's child. Earth really does have the best television ever!" Especially television about toys, but First Aid doesn't want to brush up against the fourth wall that much. When Swoop loudly arrives, the doctor looks over and waves. Sludge recoils slowly, leaning back from the monitor. He's about to say something about it when the arrival of Swoop takes his mind off of the Lion King on ice. He stands up from the floor. "Gooood. You Swoop not so late now." ~~ EVERYBODY DANCE NOW! Rock this party! Dance everybody make it hot! ~~ Rack 'N Ruin look up apon the entrance of their new guest. "Party animal huh?" Rack smirks off, "This ain't no sissy party winged-rat-bot!" Ruin chimes in. They high five eachother, even though neither have an actual hand. Collecting themselves, the duo rush off towards the drink table and start doing shots. Impactor lifts a large ener-keg up to a table, setting it down in row with the others. Taking off his hand, the Wrecker puts on a keg-tapper attachment and starts to puncture the tanks with the dispensors. Each one makes a
* PSST* sound as energon goodness is ready to be consumed. Looking over his shoulder, "Hey Jazz, howabout something heavier?" Swoop shrugs, "Me only late 'cause it took so long to find perfect hat!" He points to his hat just in case Sludge missed it. He's very proud of it, you know. Swoop spots First Aid and frantically waves back, excited that someone waved at him. Yes, he's in a very good mood. Well, he /was/. Swoop turns and glares daggers at the freakish Rack 'N Ruin. "What you say 'bout me Swoop?" "Friend Fairway, how good of you to come," Nosecone says to the medic, "I'm sure there's a beverage or two to your tastes here." For himself, he gets some flavored high-grade, seasoned with a touch of the lightest motor oil. The argument over the choice of television programs is completely lost on him. Broadside grunts, "Boss, ain't there a number we can call for some party femmes?" He then pauses, marveling at Swoop's super sweet hat. And laments. "We shoulda' got hats. Meh." And he dissolves into a silly conversation with First Aid about the soap opera, trying to drag Fairway into it. "Screw hats!" Rack shouts, attempting to grab a cup with his hammer...it's not working out so well. Ruin laughs, then sadly realizes he's just as screwed. "Ahh hot damn." Grimlock enters the The Wreck. Sludge looks as directed by the magic finger. "Ooooh You Swoop have good hat. Uhhhh... " He looks around at the rest of the party. "Swoop smarter, him only one think to bring hat for party. Uhhhh what else you Wreckers not 'member?" Fairway acknowledges Fireflight with a nod of his own. Before he can say anything to the Aerialbot, he gets roped into a conversation about something he knows nothing about. "Who is Julia?" He asks. "What is the premise of this show?" He takes another sip of his drink and taps his foot to the beat. First Aid seems really into As The Kitchen Sinks. The writing is very griping and tells all about humans at their best and at their worst. No wonder it is an Autobot favorite. "Swoop, we were just getting ready to watch As The Kitchen Sinks. Season finale!" He turns back to Broadside to continue their nerd fest. Topspin goes bursting through the doors and seems to be running at top speeds down the corridor and then *SLAM* the Jmpstarter's door is closedwithout so much as a how ya do. From within Topspin's quarters the sounds of things getting tossed around can be heard or perhaps its a mighty melee going on inside and then all is quiet. Perhaps the Jumpstarter lose the battle? Moments later the doors slide open with a soft hiss. Topspin emerges and pints accusingly at his teammates, "Hey.. which one of you bozos has been messing around in my room?! I had this little energon cube I engineered into the shape of a heart for Arcee on my desk.." he trails off and pauses before adding, "And what the HELL is that smll?!" he looks around more closely, "Oh... Dinobots." he mutters a bit confused. "HOW COME YOU START PARTY WITHOUT ME GRIMLOCK!?" Guess who just showed up? The dinocommander tromptromptromps into the wreck- glancing around it with his typically disinterested look upon his visor. He snags an energon cube from...somebody, and drains it in a single *GULP!*- tossing aside the transparent forcefield-thingie carelessly. As Topspin starts bustling around, Grimlock hnnfs, and peers down at the Jumpstarter. "Me no think her Arcee like you. You puny." White Porsche 935 ponders Impactor's request "Heavier? I got right the thing for you. For the next few songs we will explore Germany's muscial talent with KMFDM's Stray bullet and Rammstein's Engel The Special Ops switches MP3 (no he does not carry a bunch of CDs they could get crushed or scratched during fights). "You..whut...no Topspin, no one's been in your quarters. And I must agree with Grimah here." Impactor gruffs, grabbing a drink of his own after he changes out his keg-tapper attachment for his hand again. "Arcee is a mech of refined taste...if you catch mah drift." Sludge looks to the arrival of Grimlock. "Gooooood. Now him Grimlock here, him not late no more." Give the dino a squeegee. Broadside stops everything to laugh at the conjoined 'bots and their predicament. "Hahaaa... heh... mm, what? Well, Fairway, it's about... Eh, just watch it." He flinches when Topspin slams the door. "Oh that was yours? Heh... Sludge drank it, sorry." "Grimlock! Grimlock!" Swoop waves his arms around excitedly. "Now it really party! Wait.." He looks around the room, his expression becoming one of confusion. If this is a real party.. "Where all the ladies??" Impactor proceeds to walk over towards the TV, snatching the remote from Broadside. "Really, a cooking show? Are you aware how femme this makes you? 'Ell, why don't you go start puttin' ribbons in your hair cuz you like all the bots?" The Wrecker leader flips through a couple of channels before becoming frustrated and bored. He flings the remote at Sludge, "Here ya go Dino...find something better." Rack 'N Ruin take the opportunity to mock their hated enemy. "Ribbons for the little FEMME!" Rack laughs, Ruin shortly adding "Ribbons for the...err, yeah. What he said." Broadside downright sulks when Impactor chides him. "Ain't no femme, boss," he mutters dejectedly, then swipes at the twins, "Shaddap!" Sludge doesn't register a remote being thrown at him and it cracks, impacting him unawares. The last signal jolted out of it upon breaking is to change the channel to the Jerry Springer network. All Jerry All The Time. Rowdy trashiness filling the screen. "Huh....?" He rubs at the impact point and looks down. "Who hit Sludge?" He narrows his optics. Nosecone STARES at the Jerry Springer Network. Angry women brandishing chairs against deadbeat men while the deadbeat mens' current girlfriends fence back with chairs of their own. "Quick, someone change it!" he pleads. First Aid visibly jolts when Grimlock comes in and bellows. He really is a mech out of place with all these rough and tough brawlers around. The Protectobot offers a wave to the Dinobot leader as he absentmindedly taps foot to the beat of the songs Jazz is playing. Impactor stares at the broken remote on the ground, "Uh...oopsie." Fairway shakes his head and chuckles as Impactor derides Broadside. He presses himself back against the wall as Jerry Springer's show appears on the TV. "Amazing what some accept as entertainment," he mutters. He considers bringing out his book, but thinks better of it. Instead, he approaches Topspin. "Arcee, eh? I believe she and I met briefly. You are - as humans say - sweet on her, yes?" "No! Not change it!" Swoop rushes over to the T.V and plops himself down in front of it, legs crossed. "This what me call good tee vee!" The screen shows a morbidly obese woman trying to assault her possibly drug-addicted boyfriend with a chair. "YAY! BEST SHOW EVER!" Grimlock grunts a bit as Impactor pesters Sludge, and he shrugs. Hey, at least the humies are fighting! "Me Grimlock think me seen this one." he says, "Them humies no know how to fight. Should throw chair at funny hair man." he nods, sagely. First Aid winces at the new television show Swoop has put on. "Come on... this show is... not exactly good viewing." The Protectobot bends over and reaches for the remote, trying to see if it can be repaired. Grimlock , upon overhearing Fairway, grunts a laugh. "Him and like half of Autobots! Haw haw haw!" Broadside claps once and balls his fists at the show. "Frag yeahhh, fight fight!" he cheers as he moves to sit beside Swoop, possibly blocking everyone's view. "...Wait a nano Grimlock, don't you write Arcee haikus?" Grimlock STARES at Broadside. "NO! WHO TELL YOU BOAT GUY!? ME GRIMLOCK CRUSH THEMS." A pause. "'cuz them liar." Broadside grins smugly, and just shrugs. Swoop notices First Aid in the corner of his view and growls. "You not touch clicker thing! This good show!" Then in an attempt to defend his Commander from such horrible lies, he begins to yell, "HIM GRIMLOCK NOT WRITE STUPID HAY-KU THINGS! HIM JUST SMASH EVERYTHING 'CAUSE HIM STRONGEST DINOBOT!" He gives Grimlock a big thumbs-up. Impactor rummages through some boxes against the far wall, then comes up with another remote. "Here, who wants this?" Impactor gruffs, obviously annoyed that the first one got broken... "No, I'm pretty sure he writes haikus. Very pretty ones... some about Arcee's paint matching the shade of cherry blossoms in the spring during sunsets... or some such slag," Broadside nods. Topspin turns his attention to Grimlock, "Who you callin' puny you mountain with teeth!" and he dds under his breath, "And just about as smart as one." he turns immediately Impactor, "Hey, whos side are YOU on?!" and at hearing Broadside's accusation of Sludge. he turns to the poor confused Dinobot, "You ATE it.. you pea brained goon.. do you have ANY idea how long it took me to egineer anenergon cube into that intricate shape?!I ought to pound you until you're that shape as well!"then he turns to Fairway, "What? I.. uh, dunno, she's nce to be around. as opposed to my regular company I suppose." he gestures to everyone in the room. Nosecone's like a human watching a train wreck. The show is so horrible, he can't stop watching. It's like he's transfixed. Did someone hit him with a Transfixation Ray from the Transfixatron? In the meantime, he absently nibbles energon chips, one by one. Grimlock nods approvingly at Swoop- and then grunts at Topspin. "Me call YOU puny. 'Cuz you small n' weak and stuff." a pause, and he grunts- the threats to Sludge irk him- but the dinocommander knows fully well Sludge can fend for himself! Besides, a fight would be interesting. "So you Wreckers do this all time?" he asks Impactor, nodding over towards where the various 'bots are watching human detrius yell at each other onscreen. "No wonder you all crazy. TV rot you brain." "Ack!" First Aid stammers, "D-don't worry, Swoop. I'm just fixing it." He fiddles with the remote, using his finger-lasers to make several adjustments. "Still, wouldn't you be more interested to see whether Raul and Maria will finally make up after Maria slept with Jean-Paul?" First Aid isn't /too/ worried if he misses his show this time around, though. Teletran II can beat the pants off a TIVO any day of the week. Fairway nods and isn't sure what to add. He stands, hunched a bit, and sips his drink for a minute, pretending to be digging the party. He should be saying something. He looks over the rim of his glass at Topspin. "Indeed, I'll bet that was no mean feat - shaping an energon cube in that way. If this femme is worth such effort, however, it shan't bee too much of an inconvenience to reproduce the gift." Swoop looks confused. He taps his chin with a finger and hmmms loudly. After some time he shakes his head. "No. Not really." He turns back to the T.V and pumps his fists. "YEAH! FIGHT!" Sludge doesn't really take in all what Topspin is yelling about, but he's yelling at Sludge and insulting his brain and then threatened to pound him. Sludge determines Topspin must have chucked the broken remote at him, and his open hand drives out to shove Topspin. "Me Sludge say you quiet now!" Combat: Sludge strikes Topspin with his SHOVE (Grab) attack! "This ain't what we do all tha time Grim, the bots are blowin' off steam...let 'em be." Impactor smirks, handing the Dino Commander another energon concoction. "Ready fer 'nother?" "Yeah. Steam." Grimlock says, and nods approvingly as Sludge starts pushing around that guy who turns into a sled or whatever. He takes up the offered energon concotion- and he's polite, only drinking HALF of it in a *GULP!* this time. Rack 'N Ruin are stumbling around like a couple of glitches, having suckered some poor gumbie into pouring energon into their intakes. Upon their brother being pushed around, they march/stumble up to Sludge. "Hey, don't be pushing Topspin around bozo!" Rack yelps, pointing at the Dinobot. "Yeah, that's /our/ job!" Ruin adds, bumping his hammer off their chest. Broadside just keeps watching the fat woman beat the crap out of her boyfriend with a chair, that is, until the beginnings of another possible fight catch his attention. He looks over hopefully. Fairway jump back, spilling his drink, as Sludge shoves Topspin. "Primus!" He looks at the Dinobot, trying to keep from showing his irritation. "Honestly, friend, it's hardly appropriate to be so reactionary." Fireflight knew this wasnt going to take long and it didnt. He doesnt mind. Dinobots are dinobots but hes not sure he should really be here. Quietly the Aerialbot slips out. First Aid sighs at the television, momentarily distracted from his work on the remote. "I think this show is made up, Swoop. There's no way he could have impregnated him." First Aid looks a bit uncomfortable here, being one of the only non-badass/warrior present. Whirl comes out from a back room, hands filled with trays of snacks and drinks. "What...what's going on out here? I thought I heard shoving." Dancing, shouting and over-energizing is okay, but shoving? In Whirl's house? No way. Topspin doesn't quite see the ginormous hand going for him in his fit of rage. The large dinobot handgives the much smaller jumpstarter a hard push which sends him staggering backwards out of control. He flails his arms about wild and shuffle his feet trying to get his balannce.. but it to no abail. He goes stumbling into IImpactor which causes the pair of Wreckers to go for a tumble. Topspin jumps back to his feet, he's not called a jumpstarter for nothing. He wipes his mouth with a smirk, "Heh, is that the best you got? You tihnk I'm weak do you..?" he takes out his particle beam rifle and looks at his commander, "Are we going to let these over grown thugs push US around?" he turns and raises his weapon at Sludge, "We do the pushing around here! Time for you guys to get extinct and fossilized!!" his index finger just barely touching the trigger of the rifle waiting on Impactor's orders. Swoop gasps! "No! It not fake! It like wrestle show! ALWAYS REAL! ALWAYS HARDCORE!" He pauses a moment and asks, "What impregnated mean?" White Porsche 935 plays a loud siren-like noise between two songs. "Yes the Habs beat the Trashers tonight. Allright! Habs rules! Yeah...I said it." Jazz chains up with some old-fashion Megadeth. First Aid says, "Well Swoop, when a man and a woman love each other very much..." Oh God. "Always hardcore!" Broadside agrees, but reaches to switch the channel back to the soap opera nonetheless. "Hmph, leave it here," he sneers at Swoop, cranking the volume up over Jazz's admittedly awesome music. Topspin and Sludge get momentarily ignored. Impactor is pushed from behind, his arm going up and accidentally splashing his ener-drink all over Grimlock's face. Falling to the ground, the purple Autobot quickly gathers himself up and peers down at Topspin. "What has gotten into ya?" he barks, putting a hand on the rifle. Swoop nods, very interested in First Aid's biology lesson. "'Kay...then what." Grimlock is caught in mid-swig as Topspin pulls hot iron(tm), and grunts. "You Wreckers so dumb, you no even know how to do bar fight!" He grunts- only to get splashed upon by Impactor's drink. "Hnnn." Grimlock says, and very sloooowly wipes the liquid from his face. "HEY." Grimlock says, giving Impactor a shove. "You Impactor need get you stumpy guys in line! You party stink!" Sludge rumbles to Rack 'N Ruin, "....You's job push him round? You's on vacation?" He hasn't the brainpower to logically reply to Topspin's stupid question of if that's the best he's got because obviously.... duh. It's really all just jibber jabber to him and jibber jabber directed at him isn't acceptable. The slow paced Sludge asks, "What part 'be quiet' you not know?" First Aid says, "If they are interested in constructing a new human being, the man inserts his penis into the vagina of the woman, depositing sperm into her. Sperm is essentially something that carries the man's DNA - that is, his schematics. This meshes with the schematics contained within the woman's egg, creating a new schematic that is a combination of both the man and the woman's. The woman is now pregnant and the new human protoform will grow inside of her for the next nine Earth months. After this, the newly built human is deployed as a baby." Swoop just stares, his mouth hanging open. Nosecone's attention is drawn away from the TV show to First Aid's Biology 101 lesson. "B-b-but..." he murmurs, "That's...that's gross!" "Wait.." Swoop is still kind of confused on the subject. "What vagina mean?" Impactor get's shoved again, this time on purpose. "Hey buster!" he shouts, shoving back at Grimlock. "Howabout you go teach yer fellas some manners?" Fairway takes note of Fireflight's exit. He could leave now, too - no one could fault him if Fireflight left first! He decides to stay a bit longer. He slides over to sit down beside Broadside and is starting to makes some quip about the TV show when First Aid start talking about the birds and the bees. He listens carefully, and when the expanation is over, he makes strange face. "It's an input jack, friend Dinobot," he says to Swoop, "designed to fit a male human's reproductive connector." "Oh for Primus' sake!" Broadside grumbles, a bit pissed that everything keeps interrupting his show, especially Swoop. "Quit with yer' stupid questions!" And the triple-changer promptly tries to nudge Swoop away while downing the rest of his high grade. Combat: Broadside strikes Swoop with his Nudge (Grab) attack! "Uhhh...shaddup!" Rack retorts, "Yeah, what he said. Or we'll WRECK ya!" Ruin adds. Both of the conjoined Wreckers are glaring at Sludge, arms out to their sides and ready to start swinging. First Aid nods at Nosecone, "It is very unusual by Transformer standards, but I'm told it is actually a very tender thing in most cases." He puts the remote down for now to further explain the facts of human life to Swoop, seemingly with endless patience. "The vagina is something all human females have - in fact, nearly all females of any complex animal on Earth - have located in their crotch region. It serves several functions, but in this case is essentially an opening that provides access to her womb. He nods at Fairway, "That is a good description." Fortunately for everyone, all this talk about vaginas and babies and what have you is abruptly ended with Swoop rising to his feet and pointing at Impactor. "Hey! You no push him Grimlock!" Then he too gets pushed around. "HEY!" Then suddenly, an idea! Swoop picks up a chair and throws it at Broadside,. Truely an example of T.V's influence. Combat: Swoop strikes Broadside with his JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! (Punch) attack! Grimlock growls at Impactor. "Dinobots no NEED manners! 'cuz we so great!" and then he glances over as Swoop throws a chair. "See?" "Ha, hardly. You bots are a poor mech's Wrecker!" Impactor laughs in Grimlock's face. Topspin lowers his particle beam rifle since Impactor didn't give the order to fight. But then the bossbot is shhoved by Grimlock, "Thats it!!" he raises his arm and aims his wrist blaster at the mighty Dinobot commander. He fires off a blast. The beam of orange energy strike's Grimlock's armor and due to the strength of the blast and thickness of the armor. The blast is merely bounced off and instead it hits the television screen which causes it to explode the volume being the last thing to fizzle out. He runs to Impactor's side and stands behind his commander facing defiantly at the towering Grimlock, "Look.. just because you're big, ugly, and smell like a foot. That doesn't mean you guys can be jerks. This is our house.. Wreckers, its time!" "Oh...this is going to get hectic," Fairway says to First Aid. "I can't say I surprised, but perhaps we had best brace ourselves." First Aid jumps up from the chair as tensions rise between the Dinobots and the Wreckers. The half-repaired remote clatters to the ground. "Guys, please!" he calls out. "Save your aggression for those that actually deserve it - the Decepticons. Fighting amongst ourselves will only make us weaker in comparison to them!" He looks to Fairway and Jazz for support, since they're the only sane ones here. Everyone else is a nutjob. It doesn't take much, not with Broadside buzzed. The chair breaks on his armor and falls at his feet. He stands up and towers, leering down at Swoop - and frowns. Not too far down. Swoop is only a bit smaller than him. This is upsetting. Regardless, Broadside reaches out to grab at Swoop's crest and hopefully toss him to the side. Then the television explodes. "FRAGGIT TOPSPIN YOU IDIOT!" Combat: Broadside strikes Swoop with his Toss (Punch) attack! Whirl grabs some of the fancy china and cradles it protectively as the chairs and Dinobots fly. Sludge growls at Topspin directs his jibber jabber now at Grimlock instead of turning it off. Sludge stomps after Topspin, not seeing the keg of Dinobot Island oil he brought and punctured earlier still sitting on the floor. His mighty leg stride collides with the keg, kicking it to a wall. It bounces off breaking open and splattering oil everywhere! "OH YEAH?!" Grimlock- not particularly hurt, but apparently angered by the fact taht he's just been shot, looms over Impactor. "If you Wreckers so great, how come us Dinobots am beating you up?" he asks- and glances over towards Sludge and Swoop with an approving grunt. "Me Grimlock think you Wreckers is just bunch of weenie guys! Dinobots is strongest!" "So strong and so tough that your writing haiku poems for Arcee?" Rack replies, staring at Grimlock. "Dude, that's lame. Even by Dinobot standards!" Ruin adds. "Least me not, uh...whatever you is!" Grimlock says, glaring at the freaky pair. "Least me Grimlock have HANDS." Swoop is grabbed and tossed around like a little bitch but that's not even the worst part. As Swoop picks himself up off the ground he comes to a horrifying discovery. His hat. It's...it's crushed. Swoop slowly pulls it off his crest and stares at it's flattened form with possibly the saddest look in history. "THIS WORST PARTY EVER! ME HATE YOU, PLANE-BOAT GUY!" Impactor shoves back against Grimlock, "Hey, leave them outta this. It's not their fault yer an incompetent leader!" Fairway stands up, terrified, and stands at First Aid's side. "First Aid is right, friends," he says, "What is the necessity in taken out your hostilities on one another?" He cringes at Rack's insult, having written a number of poems himself, but doesn't reply to that. Rack 'N Ruin attempt to tackle Grimlock's leg, but bounce harmlessly off and into Fairway...knocking all three of them to the ground. "Hey, cushion-bot..." Rack inquires, his brother Ruin finishing the statement "Who's side you on anyways!" First Aid gives a helpless look to Fairway, frustrated that there's seemingly no way for the Dinobots and Wreckers to get along. "Er, maybe you could prove your superiority by whoever beats up more Decepticons?" he ventures. Nosecone wisely backs off towards a corner, but he still gets oil splattered on him as the keg is busted open. "Yes, that's a good idea, First Aid," the Technobot says. Broadside almost looks apologetic, for a split-nano, and was hoping Swoop would come back and shove him at least. "C'mon, fight like a mech! Your wimpy leader's watching!" Nevermind that Grimlock outranks them all. Except for Jazz. Topspin looks at Impactor and just shakes is head. He flips and quickly transforms into his odd cybteronian form of a whatever and goes fly hovering towards Sudge at top speed and at the very last seond. The hoverfoil thing springs up and transforms into it's rpbpt form and uses the momentum to try and tackle Sludge at his ginormous feet. He figures they have to have a weakspot and why can't it be their joints? Combat: Topspin strikes Sludge with its Grab attack! "HEY. ME Grimlock best leader EVER!" There's a part of him that concedes First Aid's thought, but...well, there aren't any Decepticons HERE. And with that said, Grimlock gets into the 'spirit' of things, and attempts to grab hold of Impactor, heave him up, and toss him at something important looking! "Wrecker? More like Wreck-EE! Haw haw haw!" Combat: Grimlock strikes Impactor with his CHUCK'D! (Grab) attack! Fairway is about to agree with First Aid and Nosecone when he is bowled over by Rack and Ruin. His glass of ice goes flying to explode against the wall. He lands in the growing puddle of Dinobot Island Oil and stands up positively covered in the stuff. He's currently a little to stunned to speak. Impactor is lifted into the air unwillingly, which is a feat in itself. Then he's thrown across the room, and lands on a couple of ener-kegs. The contents freely flow on the ground, mixing in with Sludge's Oil mess from earlier. Standing up, Impactor brushes some debris off his shoulder and wipes ener-drink from his face. "Oh you bastich!" Lowering his shoulder, the Wrecker leader attempts to plant it into Grimlock's midsection, pushing him up against the wall. Combat: Impactor strikes Grimlock with his Shoulder-Check (Grab) attack! "Hey! You not say bad things 'bout him Grimlock!" Swoop bellows. "He strongest Dinobot! Grimlock can kick all you Wrecker's butts!" Swoop transforms into his super sweet alternate mode. "DINOBOTS RULES!" He fires fire-lasers at Broadside. Swoop turns into a flying dinosaur! Combat: Robot Pteranodon strikes Broadside with his FIRE LAYZUR (Laser) attack! "Rargh!" And Grimlock is plowed into! The dinobot gives a growl as he's crashed into- staggering backwards to *SMASH!* into the wall, leaving a rather large dinobot-shaped chunk. "Hnn. That hurt. Almost!" and with that, he moves to start twisting around- and then he glances up at Swoop. "NO LASERS." he grunts. "Else you-" And that's when a stray blast strikes the oil Sludge spilled...and now the Wreck is on fire. Oh dear. First Aid immediately rushes to Fairway's side to make sure he's ok, kneeling in front of the downed Autobot. "I don't think there's much we can do here. Maybe we should have seen something like this happening before." First Aid wishes they had this party in the training room. It'd certainly solve a lot of problems! He acks as the oil catches fire, immediately rummaging around for his fire extinguisher that all Protectobots are required by law to carry. Sludge's weakspot is actually his academics, but if he flirts with the teacher enough she'll make sure he passes. Now, his joints aren't really weak, seeing as how they support his ridiculous weight, but they are a movable part.... and he is standing on oil now. Sludge's feet go out from under him and he flips violently forward crashing to the floor of The Wreck. "Sludge.... on floor?" The lug pushes up by his arms and then transforms to Brontosaurus mode, now on all fours. "It yous party, yous can cry if you want to..." Sludge's maw opens and the curse of FIRE leaps out after Topspin, whatever he is... in this confined oil spilled place... The towering Dinobot Sludge transforms, becoming an even bigger monstrosity. A robotic Brontosaur! Combat: Sludge sets his defense level to Aggressive. Combat: Mecha-Brontosaurus strikes Topspin with his Fire Breath attack! [Pulled -3] Whirl wails, "Nooo! I just had the floors in here waxed!!" He tears off his TF-sized apron and tosses his serving tray to the side...and plugs a giant, comically accessorized weapons module onto the end of each hand. "Now it's personal..." he grates, voice cold and deadly. Nosecone for his part gets out the fire extinguisher. He sprays the fire retardant foam on the flames. If any flammable material wasn't ignited by Swoop's attack, then it sure as heck is after Sludge sprays fire breath across the room. One or two outer casings of energon tanks have caught fire... Broadside had retrieved another drink and was chugging it when Swoop nails him in the shoulder, as well as the kegs off to the side. "OW. Okay punk, if that's how you wanna' play!" Unspacing his rifle, he /attempts/ to aim at the giant metal pteranodon, completely oblivious to the fire. Plasma charges at the tip of his gun and fires off in a swirling mass of energy towards the ceiling. Combat: Broadside strikes Robot Pteranodon with his Plasma-Pulse Gun attack! First Aid sees that the 2009 Albertan oil that he brought /as a gift/ is destroyed in the fire. It's the last time he brings something for the Wreckers, that's for gosh darn sure. Finding his fire extinguisher, First Aid helps Nosecone try and douse the flames. "And I was just saying earlier how we could repair this place..." he laments. Mecha-Brontosaurus is also coated with some oil from his fall... so naturally the flames climb up the oil trails on him. What a dumbaft. A fiery mecha brontosaurus. Now it's a party. Fairway assures First Aid that he is fine. "Indeed, this is something any nominally-functioning mech would probably have seen coming." He flips his arms, spattering oil on the floor. And then the puddle he's standing in ignites and Fairway is engulfed in flame! He takes a few quick steps forward and then drops onto the floor and starts trying to roll, despite having little room to do so with his inebriated comrades stomping about. The fire retardant foam Nosecone sprays helps put out the fire on his back and arms; his armor is burned black as he stands up amid swirling black smoke. He has just enough time to get out of the way of yet another blast of flame! "First Aid! Nosecone!" He calls, shaking off the effects of just having been fully on fire. "Let's try to take this fight outside!" Grimlock grunts as things start to burn and explode, and hmms- through it all, he notes First Aid, Nosecone, and Fairway- Autobots he doesn't particularly want to murderize (at the moment). "Me Grimlock think YOU go outside!" he snarls at the unlikely trio, "Me Grimlock only gonna crush them Wreckers!" well, that's encouraging. And with that, Grimlock pulls out his sword- and with a *SCHWIIIING!* he hacks a gaping hole in the wall to the outside. "GO." he points First Aid and company outward. He's helping! Impactor swivels away from Grimlock for now, preferring to turn his attention to the most important concern at the moment. "Oh crap. Wreckers, quit yer shovin' match and try dousin' these.."
* SKAAADOOOOOOOOOOOOSSH* Mr. Purple pants is cut off as one of the energon tanks explodes, a massive force of air moves throughout the area from the explosion. Topspin just kind of sits on the ground for moment covered in oil as he tries to revover from spearing Sludge. He was like hitting a brick wall made of titanium. He rubs his head a bit and then is promptly set on fire. So he goes screaming with his armd flailing wildly and jumps into Nosecone's fire retardant flame. And he's off once again the jumpstarter rns by Whirl, "What on Cybertron areyou doing? Those fun loving dinodolts are destroying our home.. you want to get in on this?!" He turns his attention back to Sludge and pulls out his particle beam rifle once more, "This'll teach you to set ME on fire.. you dim witted dinoturd!" and then he proceeds to fire blasts at the tiny head of the giant Dinobot,"Wreckers.. time to Wreck and Rule!!" he looks around as everything seems to be on fire or is exploding and on its way to being on fire, "Ok I'll take the dumb one.. you get the ugly one." he informs Whirl. Combat: Topspin misses Mecha-Brontosaurus with his Particle Beam Rifle attack! Robot Pteranodon is struck by Broadside's crazy ass gun and is sent falling towards the ground where he eventually lands in a heap. He quickly transforms back into robot mode and charges Broadside like a madman. Hey, you'd be seeing red too if you got your party hat crushed. Swoop dives at the triple-changer to take him down like a half robot half Dinosaur football player. Also, he totally ignores the raging fires around him. This fight is totally badass. With an avian roar, Swoop unfolds into his robot mode. Combat: Swoop strikes Broadside with his FAPPO (Smash) attack! Mecha-Brontosaurus swaps his long neck, moving his tiny head out of the blatent aimming sight of Topspin who in his jibber jabber telegraphs his intent. "What you keep saying Wreck and rule for? Me Sludge not think that mean what you think it mean..." He raises a front foot slightly and then brings it down, directing a minor seismic force cascade towards Topspin. Combat: Mecha-Brontosaurus misses Topspin with his Minor stomp tremor (Punch) attack! "Oh, what a disaster," Nosecone frets, "I think I need more extinguisher." He runs to go find some more after the big explosion. Rack 'N Ruin are running around, smashing random items chanting "WRECK 'N RULE!!" over and over again. Which is why people don't like Wreckers sometimes. The motto thrown out carelessly all the time. Broadside actually pauses at Impactor's order, leaning on his gun which is most definitely not meant to be leaned on. He stumbles a bit and plants it on his shoulder, blearily gazing around. "Th'... the energon! Frag, thizz yer' fault!" he slurrs at Sludge. Impactor's words get forgotten, and just as he's charging his weapon, "HUAFF!" Swoop barrels into him, smashing him clear through an outer wall. He rakes for purchase, dragging along everything in his path. Combat: Broadside takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass] First Aid looks over at Grimlock as he and Nosecone continue to douse the flames. "No," he replies defiantly. "I will not leave you to fight each other over such petty reasons. Not when there's Decepticons out there who need to be beaten much more than anyone here." Despite the strong words, First Aid is having to struggle not to shake, and when the flames burst out of control, he's forced to back up along with Nosecone. The explosion knocked him on his aft, Impactor slowly gains his bearings and stands up. He glares at the Wreckers menacingly, "Wreckers! I gave you an order. Cease and desist at ONCE!" Approaching Topspin, he launches out a hand to grab the jumpstarter by the chest piece. "And you!! Quit yer fightin' this instance, yer in deep trouble." Combat: Impactor strikes Topspin with his COME HERE! (Grab) attack! "Yeah! Listen to Purple Pants guy and clean up this mess!" Swoop says to Broadside. He cackles loudly because, hey, it's pretty funny that the Wreckers get stuck dealing with this. Broadside is ceasing and desisting, sprawled half outside in the grass, his other half inside the burning base. "Huuuuh... you clean it up," he rumbles. Swoop scoffs. "What? Me? Me not make big mess!" Swoop gestures to the gaping hole in the wall Broadside's clumsy self caused. "This obviously all you Wrecker guys fault." Topspin leaps back and away from Sludge's attempt to cave in the floor beneath him which is when he gets grabbed by Impacctor and he lets out a soft yelp of surprise. He turns to face Impactor thinking it's an opponent. His weapon trained to fire but after realizing who it is. He lowers his rifle and puts it away, "Okay, okay.. how is this my fault?" he stands up reay to defebd his actions. and he watches Sludge warily just in case the big oaf decides to attack again. Grimlock grunts, and lowers his sword, "Hnn. This place dump anyway." he notes. "Dinobots! Me Grimlock say it leaving time!" and with that said, he turns around, and exits through the hole he's carved in the wall...though it's not quite big enough for dinobots, so he smashes MORE stuff through it on the way out! "Me Grimlock say this party dumb." Mecha-Brontosaurus looks down upon you all like God looks upon his creations.... while considering hitting them with natural disasters. "Is Lion King on ice still on?"
* SKAAADOOOOOOOOOOOOSSH* The other tanker of energon explodes, collapsing a beam and bringing the roof with it. If anyone values their life, they might want to exit immediately. Mecha-Brontosaurus tromps out after Grimlock. The explosion has knocked Fairway out through the hole Grimlock so helpfully hacked in the wall earlier. He pushes himself up from the grass, miraculously not on fire. He limps over to Broadside and tries to pull the big Wrecker out of the smoking ruin. "I know not who to blame," he grumbles, "but myself for getting involved." He is blown back by the second explosion as he tries to help Broadside - poor, longsuffering Fairway! Nosecone notices that everything seems to be going up in smoke here, so he makes his way out too. First Aid runs down a hallway while chased by a fireball. He leaps at just the right time to outrun it. Hitting the ground, he tucks and rolls back up to one knee, looking back at The Wreck. "Oh no... how are we going to explain this to Rodimus?" The explosion sends Impactor forward, but he releases his grip on Topspin and shoves him towards the exit. "RUN NOW, TALK LATER!!" The Wrecker leader starts to dash towards the huge hole in the wall, but stops short and spares a look behind him...only momentarily before exiting 'The Wreck'. Swoop echoes Grimlock's statement. "Yeah! This party dumb!" He walks out the Broadside sized hole, transforms, and takes to the air to follow Grimlock and Sludge away from the burning mess. Dinobots win again! Swoop turns into a flying dinosaur! Broadside jerks at the explosion and scrambles to his feet, with help from Fairway! He's a bit too overcharged to really steady himself without help, so he's leaning heavily on the poor DeLorean as they head towards First Aid. "..." Combat: Fairway runs a diagnostic check on Broadside Grimlock seems a little less concerned than his fellow Autobots...mainly because this wouldn't be the first (nor the last!) time he's slowly walked away from a burning military installation. ...they're usually Decepticon ones, though. Boom. Combat: Fairway prepares Broadside for surgery, his COMBAT flag has been waived. Combat: Fairway expertly repairs Broadside's injuries. Combat: Fairway is able to repair some of Broadside's internal systems damage. Topspin gets shoved and runs out through the gaping hole in the Wreck and once clear of the havoc. He turns back to look at Impactor and his once home. He flips over and transforms into his hoverfoil mode looking aif he's fully prepared to charge back into the Wreck after his leader to make sure he got out safely. Cool guys don't look at explosions... They blow things up and then walk away. Whirl stands next to the other s, single optic looking over the remains of their beloved base. Well, Whirl loved it. "Man, I knew we were asking for trouble when we named it 'the Wreck'..." "Well slag," is all Broadside can think to say, kneeling in the grass. "My stuff..." He gruffs at Whirl, "Wasn't that name /your/ idea?" Fairway puts his hands on his hips as he finishes patching up Broadside's injuries. He surveys the wreck of The Wreck. "I suppose I shall be involved in the rebuilding of this base," he says with a sardonic smile. Impactor is the last to exit the building, and as if scripted in a book...the ceiling completely collapses once he's found his way out. The Wrecker leader walks slowly up to the others, placing a hand on Whirl's shoulder. He doesn't say anything, just turns around and stares as one of the last few explosions go off and the building is completely collapsed. Nosecone comes over and puts his hand on Impactor's shoulder. Silently giving condolences for the ruined craft. Broadside looks to Fairway, visor ridge raised. "After we lit you on fire? Shucks mech," he snorts, disbelieving. But he sets a hand on Fairway's shoulder, because all the cool mechs are doing it. First Aid gets out of the way of the others fleeing the base. He looks at The Wreck with a sympathic look. "Poor ship," he says, thinking that it's been poorly treated given all the shelter it's provided. He then grabs his medical equipment out of his leg compartments. "Alright... who needs patching?" he asks. Topspin also walks with and alongside his teammates. He turns to Impactor and says, "So you really don't think I'm Arcee's type?" he says as the Wreckers walk off into the fading sunset to lord knows where now that their base is a complete wreck in both name and description.
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