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| - MHARTI Aw man...my kites in the tree, Doc! I can't....I hate this stupid tree! I'm so sad... DOC Don't be sad Mharti! We'll go back in time! And we'll make sure that your kite doesn't get caught in the tree! MHARTI Alright Doc, that sounds great! I'm gonna go get my boots! [TITLE AND THEME] MHARTI Alright Doc, I'm back! I got my boots! I'm excited! Let's go, let's get out of here! DOC Mharti, Mharti we have a problem! The time travel car won't start! MHARTI Oh no! What can we do? What are we gonna do...? DOC My chapped, bloody testicles Mharti! MHARTI What?! DOC I need you to lick them! MHARTI Oh my god...what?! What?! You want me to lick 'em?! DOC Yes Mharti! It's the only way to fix my time travel car! You have to lick my balls, Mharti! The saliva needs to be warm and fresh! And it must be administered by your tongue, Mharti! MHARTI But I don't understand how that would work, Doc; I-I don't, I don't, I'm confused. I don't- DOC Mharti, trust me! I built this car with my own two hands, from the ground, up! Hurry! MHARTI Okay Doc, you've convinced me...here goes nothing...[SLURPING SOUNDS] DOC That's it Mharti! Slather your wet tongue all over my balls! Don't miss a spot! It's working Mharti! It's working! [TRANSITION CARD; ONE HOUR LATER...] DOC Okay Mharti, here we are. In your front lawn thirty years ago. The very same day that that tree was planted! MHARTI Oh Doc, who do you think planted it? How are we gonna stop him? DOC It doesn't matter who planted the tree, Mharti. The only way to stop them, is by having you lick my balls! MHARTI Again?! DOC That's right, Mharti! [BELCHING] W-We're in the year 1955, now! What do you think goes on here, Mharti? You think i-i-if you saw some guy lickin' some balls, you'd just walk by happily? I don't think so Mharti! That ain't how it works here, Mharti! If this man comin' to plant trees in your yard sees you suckin' on my balls, somethin' [MORE BELCHING] s-scientific and magic will happen to him! Trust me Mharti! Somethin' real magic and scientific! MHARTI But Doc...I thought lickin' your balls fixes the time car... DOC There isn't time to argue, Mharti! He's coming right now! Get down on your knees, and stick your tongue on my balls! It's the only way! I'm a doctor, Mharti! [BELCHING] Trust me, Mharti! MHARTI Alright Doc...say no more. I'm goin' down to your balls right now...[MORE SLURPING SOUNDS] 1950'S MAN Ouch... DOC It's working, Mharti! 1950'S MAN [SCREAMING IN PAIN] I'm disappearing! It hurts! Jesus Christ! It burns! DOC Good job, Mharti! MHARTI Doc, we killed him! DOC Now why don't we go back and fly your kite, Mharti? It'll be fun, Mharti! [TRANSITION CARD, LATER THAT DAY...] MHARTI [LAUGHING] Oh, oh Doc this is the most fun! 'Cause now that there's no tree, I can fly the kite all in the yard... DOC Yes Mharti, ha! Ahaha! It's fun Mharti, hahahahar! Arr matey! MHARTI But still...I sometimes often wonder...who that 1950's man was. We killed him, remember? I wonder who he was. DOC Oh my god, Mharti! You're disappearing! MHARTI Oh god Doc, why?! What-What's goin' on?! Y-You gotta help me Doc! I'm fading away! I'm disappearing...it hurts! DOC That 1950's man, Mharti! He must have been your great, great, great, great, great, Grandfather! MHARTI Hurry Doc! What can we do?! You gotta fix me! DOC I don't know what to do, Mharti! MHARTI Wait Doc, I've got an idea! Y-Your balls! Let me lick on your balls, Doc! DOC By jove, you're right Mharti! Hurry! Suck on my balls! MHARTI [EVEN MORE SLURPING SOUNDS] DOC This time is a little different, Mharti! You have to jerk me off while you do it! Jerk me off, hurry! It's for your life, Mharti! Jerk me off! MHARTI O-Oh...please...please work... DOC It's working Mharti! It's working! MHARTI You did it, Doc! You really- you saved my life! DOC No Mharti, we saved your life. We saved your life. [NEXT TIME ON DOC AND MHARTI] DOC What is it Mharti? What's the matter? MHARTI Oh Doc, I'm in big trouble! I wasted the whole summer flying my kite in the front yard, when I should have been studying for this huge test I got! DOC When is the test, Mharti? MHARTI Aw Doc, it's tomorrow. I don't stand a chance! DOC Lick my balls, Mharti. Lick my fucking balls.
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