About: Tennis scoring   Sponge Permalink

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The accepted scoring system for international tennis was devised by Mrs Edith Algebra of Beaconsfield, England, in 1847. Before that year, old-fashioned British tennis players, who wore long baggy clothes and said “By Jove” at least 175 times in every match they played, used to have a proper 1-to-10 scoring system for each game, which was entirely sensible and commendably easy for adults, children, and retards to follow. We could have carried on for centuries without a squeak of complaint. But after her Ovaltine was spiked with crack by a Jehovah’s Witness in 1847, Mrs Algebra got to thinking about tennis and decided it needed “a kick up the ass”.

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  • Tennis scoring
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  • The accepted scoring system for international tennis was devised by Mrs Edith Algebra of Beaconsfield, England, in 1847. Before that year, old-fashioned British tennis players, who wore long baggy clothes and said “By Jove” at least 175 times in every match they played, used to have a proper 1-to-10 scoring system for each game, which was entirely sensible and commendably easy for adults, children, and retards to follow. We could have carried on for centuries without a squeak of complaint. But after her Ovaltine was spiked with crack by a Jehovah’s Witness in 1847, Mrs Algebra got to thinking about tennis and decided it needed “a kick up the ass”.
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  • The accepted scoring system for international tennis was devised by Mrs Edith Algebra of Beaconsfield, England, in 1847. Before that year, old-fashioned British tennis players, who wore long baggy clothes and said “By Jove” at least 175 times in every match they played, used to have a proper 1-to-10 scoring system for each game, which was entirely sensible and commendably easy for adults, children, and retards to follow. We could have carried on for centuries without a squeak of complaint. But after her Ovaltine was spiked with crack by a Jehovah’s Witness in 1847, Mrs Algebra got to thinking about tennis and decided it needed “a kick up the ass”. Initially she wondered if it might be fun to change the size of the ball, so that it was 10 times as big as each of the players. When this caused a marked increase in tennis injuries, she changed her mind and decided to make the sport a team game, with 140 people on either side of the net. Her other bright ideas included replacing the net with the Berlin Wall. This was an extraordinary idea, marking her out as a prophetess of sorts, as the Berlin Wall would not be built for another 114 years. When players complained that they couldn’t see their opponents over the high stone wall she had erected, Mrs Algebra came up with some wacky ideas for esoteric scoring systems to confuse both players and spectators of her beloved game. At first she thought a 5-10-15-20-25 scoring system would be nice, but then she decided it wouldn’t be weird enough. So she invented the bizarre 15-30-40-deuce system, because she particularly liked multiples of 15 – with the exception of 45, to which she preferred the more elegant 40, because that was her age at the time.
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