Created this ages ago and I'd forgotten how good it was. 16:33, 25 October 2008 (UTC)
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| - Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/A-level
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| - Created this ages ago and I'd forgotten how good it was. 16:33, 25 October 2008 (UTC)
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| - It's well written for the most part, but there's two things I want to pick up on. First, and easiest, at the very start, I don't think there's meant to be a comma before the brackets, just sounds like it'd flow better without it. The other, and slightly more important IMO, is the subject title. In the prose, you flick back and forth between "A level", "A Level", and "A-level". Try and iron it out so they are all the same . Other than that, well done here, as I'd expect from someone who's won WotM around here.
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| Icomment
| - Not sure what to say here, they work. Only problem I'd say is that they're very samey, possible a different picture in there could mix it up a bit, but it works well as is. You've got the right number of pictures for the article size, and the formatting's fine on here. One other comment: The caption of the third picture: I think you meant to put an exclamation mark on the end of it, but you just missed it off.
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| - It's not the most groundbreaking concept ever, but it's good. I like you trying to sell off A-levels as being something really good, instead of most school-related articles where it just degenerates the subject to the point of saying the subject is worthless and retards can get them . Can't really think of anything better you could have done with it, and it works, so kudos.
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| - Rightio, first off, this review might end up going into Wiktionary as a citation of the definition of rust, since I haven't done a review in yonks. But hey, gotta come back sometime! Anyway, first impressions of this are good. Very good, actually. The concept is sold very well throughout, and it fits together very smoothly in its construction.
Heerenveen/Rsection|7|intro|A-level There's a grammatical error or two, which I'll cover later, but reading past that it's a very solid opening. It lets people who aren't British and may not know exactly what you're on about in on the joke, but still gets off a nice shot or two . Only thing I'd say is it might be a little short - you might possibly be able to dramatise the bit to give it more of a flourish. Nice start though.
Heerenveen/Rsection|8|What does one do in an "A" level?|A-level Getting even better here. While there isn't an utterly storming joke here to take the article by storm, every joke that you've attempted here works on some level. was really good here . Only real complaints I could have here are that the run-on sentences get a little annoying to read, and taht your capitalising of TV changes each time you use it. But I'm being picky; it's really good.
Heerenveen/Rsection|6|Who takes "A" levels?|A-level This section felt a little weak to me compared to the rest of the piece. Maybe it was the size? To be fair, there aren't many different original ways you could take this, so just moving on swiftly was probably a good idea in hindsight. I liked the beanie hat reference though, that was good. To sum up this section: Not brilliant, but considering where you're going with this, couldn't have been much better.
Heerenveen/Rsection|9|Where does one get A-levels?|A-level Loved this part. If I wasn't such a relentless perfectionist, I would have given this a ten. This whole section, like the end of the intro, has a strong sense of irony about, almost as if the tet knows it is lying about what it is telling you . I honestly don't see how I could improve this.
Heerenveen/Rsection|8|What requirements are there?|A-level Regression to the mean here, but still really good. This one's similar to the second paragraph in that you've got solid depth here, but you don't have that one overarching joke to put it over the top. Being British, the whole 50% thing had me cracking up , but I don't think people outside of the Isles will really get that joke. I like the oxymoron of that Little Britain being witty, but overall it's not quite as good as the previous section. Still good though.
Heerenveen/Rsection|7|So, let's say I've got my A-levels. What happens next?|A-level Nice finish. A little cliché, with the whole grandfather telling a story aspect, but still a fairly neat finish. Like the intro, this could use a bit of expansion: What do A-levels give you once you are in the world of employment might be a nice extra angle to take. I like it though, it rounds off the article nicely and definitively.
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| - I'm not sure about whether this would pass VFH or not, in my experience this is the kind of concept that tends to get "Against: Too many of this style of article" type votes, but with some polishing this is a fine article that I'd definitely vote for.
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| Signature
| - Heerenveen/sig4|27/10 12:11
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| abstract
| - Created this ages ago and I'd forgotten how good it was. 16:33, 25 October 2008 (UTC)
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