abstract
| - I'LL NEVER FORGET TODAY, the day I become an apprentice. I know. "All cats of DestinyClan, gather by the Fate Rock for a ceremony please!" Shiningstar yowls and I smooth my pelt one more time before walking out and into the front of the crowd. Cats step out of the way, a perfect line (or not so perfect. Cats can't help it if their fat pelts get in the way), making me feel like I'm special, important). I wait at the front as more cats gather, my chin lifted. I can hear cats near by whisper praise at my grace. I turn gently when I hear a mew of protest. "But I look fine!" Petalkit whimpers. Lilyclaw doesn't stop washing her pelt. "You need to look your best, darling. You are already fair but you must be extra special for your Clanmates today." Petalkit pouts but she must be glowing inside. "Is everyone here?" The silver leader asks as Petalkit makes her way gracefully up to where I stand. "Good. Today is an important day where our kits have come of age to train into the wonderful warriors they'll be. And in six more moons, we will have more warriors to join the..." I tune out for a moment to find two specific cats. There. Foxpelt sits beside Lilyclaw, their tails entwined as they gaze lovingly at Petalkit. My father looks up at me, anger flashing through his eyes into a glare. But I ignore him. I focus on Lilyclaw, acting like she can easily take Grayflower's place. Acting like she is the rightful guardian of Foxpelt's kits. My blood starts boiling but I keep a calm look as I turn back quickly just as Shiningstar calls my name. "Tansykit, please step forward." I do as she says. "From this day on, until you receive your warrior name, your name is Tansypaw. Your mentor will be Spicefur." I turn back and walk towards Spicefur who is already walking forwards to greet me. We touch noses and I lick her shoulder. "Petalkit, step forward." Shiningstar says and I turn to watch my sister. "From this day on, until you receive your warrior name, your name is Petalpaw. Your mentor will be Snowmint." "Tansypaw! Petalpaw! Tansypaw! Petalpaw!" Usually, if a cat doesn't have a high rank in DestinyClan or isn't well known, his kits have their names chanted once. If a cat is well-known and social, his kits get it twice, like us. Three times mean the cat is popular. Even more is reserves for the leader's kits. I can tell Foxpelt is upset we didn't get it thrice for his eyes are smoldering as Petalpaw and I make our way to our respective parent. "How dare those cats disrespect me? I catch prey for them, talk to them, trade with them, am from a well family and they give my kits two? Cats of my upbringing deserve five." "That's not possible, Dad." I state flatly. He glares at me. "Learn to shut your mouth. And you are ordered to address me as 'Father'." "I'll train well, Daddy," Petalpaw says in her gentle voice. "I won't let you down." "I'm sure you won't," Foxpelt snaps. "I need at least one of my kits to do well and that's going to be you." I can't help but notice as Petalpaw cowers that Lilyclaw is silently watching all this with loving looks at Foxpelt. She must think a father reprimanding his kits unjustly is sooo handsome. Foxpelt storms away, probably off to yowl at his gang for not doing three. But Lilyclaw doesn't follow him. Instead, she smiles joyfully. "I'm so proud of you two!" "Excuse me?" I snap. "What do you mean, 'proud of us'? You're not our mother. Grayflower is our mother." Lilyclaw stares at me, her jaw open, stunned. I start shaking my head and Petalpaw stares at me, her sky-blue eyes widening and I internally will her to keep quiet. I have things to say. "You watch us like we're your kits. You spend every waking moment with Petalpaw," I hurl accusations at her, but she doesn't say anything. Not a word. "You want so desperately to take my mother's place so you can snatch away Foxpelt just as she snatched him away long ago. You can't get over things and when things don't go your way, you mope around until my father chooses you over his faithful true mate. Have him if you want. Take him. But you'll never be my mother, nor will you even think of being Petalpaw's. Just stay away! Leave us be." I finish harshly and watch Lilyclaw carefully ignoring Petalpaw's stoney gaze. Her jaw is dropped and she stares at me as if I slapped her on the nose, and her mottled gray fur is bristling so high it looks like she's arching her back in a yawn. Then she blinks her emerald eyes once and simply leaves. Petalpaw stares at me, crestfallen as if she doesn't know I don't just go along with any bad cat's will, that I don't know how to speak up for myself. As if I'm just like her. I turn away and stroll over to Spicefur, aware of what will happen to me if Lilyclaw or Petalpaw rat me out to him. "Shall we explore the territory?" She asks. "Of course." ~ So far, Spicefur has shown me the Training Sands, Shine River, and the Hunting Grounds. "Is this all there is to see?" I ask curiously, frowning because if this is all there is to the territory, DestinyClan is officially boring. "Ha! No," Spicefur shakes her head, laughing. "These are just the main landmarks. You will see a lot more to the territory as you spend more time out of camp. But there is one more important place I can't show you yet - the Fate-Cave." Her eyes narrow at her last words. Is she teasing me? "Let me guess. I can only see it after passing some exam." "No, you can see it anytime. I'm just choosing not to show you now." I narrow my eyes. Is the black and white she-cat messing with me? "Alright, calm down Angry-Eyes, I'm thinking that maybe an impulsive cat like you needs to wait at least three moons before meeting StarClan." "I'm six, why must I wait three more moons? And just what do you mean by impulsive?" "Aha! See, you always rush to speak before thinking it through. You just speak your mind and this is not the first time." "What do you know about me? We hardly spoke until this-this morning." "But don't you think your Clanmates have observed you? How you always manage to anger your father - yes, I agree he's quite a moody one but Petalpaw speaks with a soft tongue. You talk back to anybody and everybody." "Who are you to judge?" I try to snap but end up whimpering, Spicefur's amber eyes soften. "I know Grayflower's death has been hard for you. But you need to soften up. Not telling you to get over it but-" "I've heard enough!" I start storming away. "Tansypaw, listen!" But I don't. I run back to camp with all my strength, probably disrupting every prey waiting to be caught. Why must everyone treat me like this? What have I done to them? Now my mentor, my getaway, is against me too. For StarClan's sake, must everyone judge me always? I tear into the camp and run to the apprentices' den, falling into the nest I made yesterday for the next six moons. "Hey Tansypaw, how did your traini-Tansypaw?" Branchpaw starts. But I don't listen. "Leave me alone, Branchpaw. For now." Luckily, the brown tabby tom listens and steps out but not beforing whispering, "My first day wasn't that upsetting..." I close my eyes and just think and cry. Why does DestinyClan have to be so cruel to me? Could BrightClan be better? But it doesn't matter. I roll onto my back, staring at the blank den wall. I'll teach them a lesson. I'll make them feel sorry for what they've done.
|