Portadown (derived from the Irish language - Port an Dúnáin meaning port of the bigoted jaffa cakes and the oppressed Nationalists) is a metropolis in County Armagh, Norn Iron. It's a curious place which baffles even the most curious of folk and is world-renowned for being a Centre of Excellence for people who like to look downtrodden and, generally, not very happy. The town sits on and sometimes in the fragrant River Bann during the week, which as you can imagine is quite unpleasant for all concerned. At weekends it moves slightly to the left of Joe Mac's bar and on Bank Holidays it slips gently to the right of McKeevers. It has a population of about 22,000, although current Disability Living Allowance (DLA) benefits records show a population closer to 95,000.
| Attributes | Values |
|---|
| rdf:type
| |
| rdfs:label
| |
| rdfs:comment
| - Portadown (derived from the Irish language - Port an Dúnáin meaning port of the bigoted jaffa cakes and the oppressed Nationalists) is a metropolis in County Armagh, Norn Iron. It's a curious place which baffles even the most curious of folk and is world-renowned for being a Centre of Excellence for people who like to look downtrodden and, generally, not very happy. The town sits on and sometimes in the fragrant River Bann during the week, which as you can imagine is quite unpleasant for all concerned. At weekends it moves slightly to the left of Joe Mac's bar and on Bank Holidays it slips gently to the right of McKeevers. It has a population of about 22,000, although current Disability Living Allowance (DLA) benefits records show a population closer to 95,000.
|
| sameAs
| |
| dcterms:subject
| |
| dbkwik:uncyclopedi...iPageUsesTemplate
| |
| district type
| |
| Nickname
| |
| Country
| - Norn Iron aka 'Our Wee Country'
|
| Name
| |
| Languages
| - Ulster Scots, Portuguese, Polish, Norwegian and Irish
|
| Caption
| - Annual Drumcree Parades Festival of Culture.
|
| District
| |
| Government
| - First Minister: The Not So Loyal Orange Lodge , Deputy First Minister: Garvaghy Road Provos and Republican Victim's Groups
|
| Currency
| |
| Ethnic Groups
| |
| Population
| |
| bgcolour
| |
| Area
| |
| leader type
| - Grand Master and Deputy Grand Master and various Local Area Representatives
|
| dialing code
| |
| Motto
| - "It's my God given right to march the Queen's Highway"
|
| Religions
| - Prods and Taigs and other heathen denominations
|
| Anthem
| - "It was bold and it was beautiful..." and "Youse are a pack of Orange bastards"
|
| Opening Hours
| |
| abstract
| - Portadown (derived from the Irish language - Port an Dúnáin meaning port of the bigoted jaffa cakes and the oppressed Nationalists) is a metropolis in County Armagh, Norn Iron. It's a curious place which baffles even the most curious of folk and is world-renowned for being a Centre of Excellence for people who like to look downtrodden and, generally, not very happy. The town sits on and sometimes in the fragrant River Bann during the week, which as you can imagine is quite unpleasant for all concerned. At weekends it moves slightly to the left of Joe Mac's bar and on Bank Holidays it slips gently to the right of McKeevers. It has a population of about 22,000, although current Disability Living Allowance (DLA) benefits records show a population closer to 95,000. Although Portadown can trace its origins to the 6th day of Creation, it was not until last night and the arrival of the wheel, electricity and sliced bread that it became a minor town. Portadown is known as: (a) "the hub of the North", (b) “the cesspit of Europe”, and (c) “the gateway to Hell” due to it being; (a) a major railway junction (b) shit, and (c) having a bit of a tense and unpredictable atmosphere. In recent years Portadown has become most famous for the Drumcree Parades which take place on the first Sunday after the second Tuesday and before the third Wednesday in July but never before the Saturday before that. This is an annual Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans-Gender festival of culture and free love, marked with the wearing of vibrant orange sashes and the jovial throwing of stones, petrol bombs and supermarket trolleys at police officers who don't really want to be there in the first place but cant resist the overtime.
|
![[RDF Data]](/fct/images/sw-rdf-blue.png)