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| - A NEW REGENT FOR CAMBRIDGE: CAMBRIDGE -- In a shocking move, Lord Arthur Braintree announced his retirement from the Cambridge University's Board of Regents yesterday. He cited health problems and a want to: "spend [his] winter amongst family." This means that a new professor will be chosen by the current regents and the college of professors to ascend to regency. This position is one of great power in Cambridge, and many say the regents are nearly as powerful as the crown in many respects. There are many possible candidates, but no date has been set for the academic games which will weed-out the less worthy scholars. RECORD WHEAT HARVEST: CAMBRIDGE -- The Cambridge Regents were proud to announce today that the crop yield for wheat was twenty percent greater than last year's. Royal Academy of Arts and Sciences (RAAS) Chairholder Walter Bunbury attributes the bumper crop to a new farming technique that was recently developed at Cambridge University's School of Agrarian Sciences. "We are very excited about this breakthrough, and look forward to selling this new technology to other farming operations throughout Sirius," said Bunbury, who announced the good news on behalf of the Regents. GREEN FRONT OFFICE DESTROYED IN FIRE: CAMBRIDGE -- Arson is suspected in a fire that claimed the lives of two Cambridge University students last night. The fire broke out late in the evening at the headquarters of The Green Front, a lobbying organization that represents Cambridge interests in New London. Located within walking distance of the Cambridge University, the Green Front is composed almost entirely of professors and volunteer students. Two student volunteers perished in the rapidly spreading blaze that took several hours for firefighters to bring under control. "Their loss is a terrible tragedy," said Professor Willingham, who issued a statement this morning for the Green Front. ALIEN ARTIFACTS TO STAY IN CAMBRIDGE: CAMBRIDGE -- University of Cambridge's Head of Xenoarchaeology, Anne Dixon, petitioned the Board of Regents to reject the Crown's decree that requires the confiscation of all Alien Artifacts by the government. The board accepted the professor's proposal and issued a statement insisting that Alien Artifacts under the university's control be left in the hands of scientific research. "This decision by the Crown to follow Liberty's mandate without question is disturbing news to us," said Dixon's aid, Gill Bellington. REGENTS EXPEL CORPORATE RECRUITERS: CAMBRIDGE -- Representatives from BMM and Planetform, Inc. are back on transports orbiting the planet after their expulsion from the University of Cambridge Board of Regents. "Their presence here was a disruption to studies," said Roger Tarrywell, who issued the order on behalf of the regents. When questioned about the possible link between the corporate visitors on the planet and the fire at the Green Front officers, Tarrywell offered no comment, other than to say, "I am not authorized to speak upon what can only be pure speculation." CAVALIERS VICTORIOUS OVER THE HERONS: CAMBRIDGE FIELDS -- Cambridge fans are still celebrating the defeat of the Hokkaido Herons two nights ago, which allows Cambridge to move ahead in the playoffs. Next week the team will face the Colorado Eagles to decide who will enter the Plasmaball Finals. The winner of this last match was originally slated to play California, but the recent loss of the Marauders' center and stun forward has allowed the team a bye week as it scrambles to replace from waivers its fallen team members. The two athletes were killed when their luxury transport was attacked and destroyed by Outcast raiders.
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