rdfs:comment
| - At face value, it seems an easy task. In fact, it even seems at first inspection to be a good use of time. But upon further thought, it becomes the best use of time. Must. Mug. Hawking. Professor Hawking is, after all, a quadriplegic, quite old, and by all accounts, wouldn't hurt a fly even if he were capable of doing so. To wit, the dude's a soggy old bag of mush. Like Rosie O'Donnell (*Soft Applause emanates from audience for witty topical humor. Host nods sheepishly, knowingly.*) But you're forgetting one thing (as do most people who contemplate the ease of mugging Stephen Hawking): he's the smartest man in the world, and he's also equipped with the coolest wheelchair ever devised by man. His condition (named "Hawking's Condition" after Professor Hawking, a sad case) has, in fact, been
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abstract
| - At face value, it seems an easy task. In fact, it even seems at first inspection to be a good use of time. But upon further thought, it becomes the best use of time. Must. Mug. Hawking. Professor Hawking is, after all, a quadriplegic, quite old, and by all accounts, wouldn't hurt a fly even if he were capable of doing so. To wit, the dude's a soggy old bag of mush. Like Rosie O'Donnell (*Soft Applause emanates from audience for witty topical humor. Host nods sheepishly, knowingly.*) But you're forgetting one thing (as do most people who contemplate the ease of mugging Stephen Hawking): he's the smartest man in the world, and he's also equipped with the coolest wheelchair ever devised by man. His condition (named "Hawking's Condition" after Professor Hawking, a sad case) has, in fact, been caused by a freak laboratory accident, the context of which is a well-guarded secret among Cambridge's elite, so you know it had to do with bonking. Anyway, as a scientist, I am always on the lookout for grant money, and when I learned that the National Science Foundation was supporting a grant for a hit on Stephen Hawking, I could only oblige. In the interest of science, purely. I set out at once to prove that my theory that Stephen Hawking could, in fact, be mugged, through trial-and-error and the scientific process. The results are cataloged herein. Note: To any article editors: please God publish this.
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